Although female bisexuality is encouraged in the swinging
community, male bisexuality is much less accepted .
We have met (and made love with) many guys who were insulted
at being asked if they were bisexual ("I'm straight"), but who
we discovered nevertheless enjoyed a wide range of bisexual practices with
guys, including oral and anal sex. These would often be quite insulted if
we suggested they "liked guys". Clearly, they differentiated between
casual sex with a guy, and a deeper relationship. They enjoyed the former,
but wanted to explain that they didn't want the latter. We also met guys
who wanted it to go further - to form a deeper emotional and loving, rather
than sexual, relationship.
The same is also true for women, but they seem both more able to openly
discuss and resolve their sexuality, no doubt as a result of the higher
regard society appears to have for lesbian sex than male homosexual sex.
In our opinion, the language itself is at fault. This is because it fails
to seperate physical and emotional aspects of one person's relationship
with another. It also impedes couples' relationships, because of fear of
being open about sexuality, and because of fear that a partner will "discover
they prefer their own sex".
Let's look at the idea of being homosexual (including lesbian). Our definition
of a homosexual is someone who finds their relational (sexual and emotional)
needs satisfied by their own sex. The key element of this is the emotional
need - a gay guy or woman does not need the companionship of the opposite
sex, and finds a relationship with their own sex completely satisfying sexually
and emotionally.
By contrast, a heterosexual couple find the a relationship with the opposite
sex completely satisfying.
What does bisexuality mean? This catch all term is generally used to describe
all who can form both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. Unfortunately,
the word is a misnomer, because as discussed, the sex might be a small part
of the relationship. It is therefore inadequate to describe, for instance,
guys who enjoy sucking a cock in a generally heterosexual swinging relatiohship.
We have therefore used the term "bisex" to describe sex that involves
both males and females.
It is our experience that when this definition is used,
most guys enjoy bisex to a greater or lesser degree. This can range from
just enjoying the feel of a guy touching their cock, up to penetrative oral
or anal sex. Only a proportion of these will be bisexual, however.
 We think these distinctions are important. Many guys, in particular,
are worried or guilty that they enjoy bisex. We think bisex is natural,
fun and an important part of a swinging relationship. It doesn't have to
mean you're gay. Both of us enjoy bisex ourselves and in our partner.
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