| If Religion Dealt With Toys |
| Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins. Hai Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins. Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins. Anglican - They were our toys first. Greek Orthodox - No, there were OURS first. Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins. Atheism - There is no toy maker. Polytheism - There are many toy makers. Evolutionism - The toys made themselves. Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys. Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours. B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin. Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck. Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants. Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second. Hedonism - To heck with the rule book! Let's play! Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plactic farm animals, loses. 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses. Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses. Baptist - Once played, always played. Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins. Existentialism - Toys are a figment of you imagination. Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry. Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them. Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference. Apathy - Toys? What do I need toys for? Judaism - I'm selling. You buying? First Kinky Church - You bet your ass we have toys. Firsts American Church - We play only with cowboy toys. Church of Scientology - Toys 'R Us. |
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