Invisible Friends
by Rose Aislin.
Summary: young Luke Skywalker has an invisible friend, or does he?
Rating: PG / T (probably more of a G, really, but considering it deals with Star Wars, which is itself rated at least a PG....)
Warning/s: none
Disclaimer: Star Wars, it's characters and plotline belongs to George Lucas, and I'm pretty sure whoever else helped make the films may have some claim as well. I don't. This fic is written entirely for entertainment purposes. No money has, is, or will be gained from this fic.
Invisible Friends
Luke didn't know exactly when he had gained his invisible friend. At times, it seemed almost as though his friend had always been there, ever since he was born, or, when he thought about it really hard, perhaps even before that. Although he wasn't sure how that was possible.
When he was two years old, Luke didn't even know what his invisible friend was. All he knew was that there was someone there. Someone he couldn't see. Who talked to him � and only him. He'd watched Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru very carefully, but they never made any indication that ever heard the voice. Even when they were in the same room.
But Luke didn't worry about it too much. He was, afterall, only a small child, a toddler still, and great feats of worrying were not something he was familiar with. Besides, it wasn't as though the voice was always there. More often then not it was absent.
When Luke was four, he learnt that the voice was an invisible friend. After a very long, hot day (the kind that often occurred on Tatooine), which he had spent helping his Uncle around the farm, Luke had retreated to the relative cool of the kitchen where his Aunt Beru was fixing dinner.
He hadn't meant to say anything, really, it had just slipped out. When the voice spoke to him, still hot and tired, and, if he was totally honest, generally annoying with the day, the weather, his Uncle, and the planet, Luke had groaned, snapping a short reply.
Which had got his Aunt's attention.
Aunt Beru had turned from fixing the dinner to look at Luke, a small frown on her face as she questioned him. And, still hot and tired, and annoyed at the voice for disturbing his brief rest, Luke had answered her.
It wasn't like the voice had told him not to tell anyone about it. Nothing like that had ever been said. Nor could Luke think of a reason that he hadn't ever said anything before. Yet still he hadn't. Somewhere, something, somehow, warning him to keep quiet about the voice, that he shouldn't talk about it. Even though it was never said.
Still, he was hot, and tired, and annoyed. So he told her.
He told her that he heard a voice. A voice that nobody else could hear. That the voice spoke only to him, and that nobody could see the person the voice belonged to, not even him. And then, very much in the manner of a stubborn child, he had crossed his arms over his small chest, scowled at her, and told her that the voice was his friend, and she couldn't take him away.
Aunt Beru had merely laughed, and bent down to give Luke � who spluttered indignantly � a quick hug. �You have an invisible friend, then?� she'd asked happily, her kind eyes sparkling at him with good humour. �You know, I had one of them when I was your age.�
And then Uncle Owen had called out for his Aunt, and Luke was left sitting thoughtfully at the kitchen table. So, the voice was an invisible friend. Shrugging, Luke wandered off to his room to fiddle with the spare parts he'd been collecting before his Aunt called him for dinner.
When he was five, Luke found out his friend Biggs, had an invisible friend as well. Biggs, who was slightly older than Luke, and lived over on the next farm. Biggs had laughed when Luke, anxiously, had informed his friend that he had another friend. An invisible friend. And then he'd told Luke that he had one too.
And his invisible friend's name was Shadow.
Luke had frowned slightly at that, realising, perhaps for the first time, that his friend had no name. That he was simply a voice that spoke occasionally into Luke's mind, and was known as his invisible friend. But, if Biggs had an invisible friend, and Biggs' friend had a name, then perhaps Luke's friend should have a name as well.
But then Biggs had dragged him off to play with the new toy skyhopper that he had recently received, and Luke, as kids will, momentarily forgot about it.
It wasn't until later, when he was tucked in warm and safe in bed that night, and he could hear Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru breathing quietly in their sleep across the hall, that Luke remembered. Shifting nervously, he called out in his mind for his friend � he dare not call out aloud in case he wake his Aunt or Uncle - his thoughts tumbling over one another in his anxiousness to have a name for his friend, hoping his friend would be there.
He was.
And when Luke heard the soft laughter of his friend filling his mind � laughter at his anxiousness, he couldn't help but smile slightly as well, although he tried hard to frown. Afterall, not having a name for his friend, when Biggs' friend had a name was a big deal to a five year old boy.
Ani, his friend told him, you can call me Ani.
Luke thought that that was perhaps a rather strange name for his friend. Afterall, it sounded like a girl's name, and he was sure his friend was male. Still, if Biggs could call his friend Shadow, then he didn't think there was anything wrong with his friend being Ani. In fact, he decided, as he snuggled down into his covers and closing his eyes, Ani was a far better name than Shadow.
When he was six, Luke started school, down in Mos Eisley. He was thankful to his Aunt for travelling all the way in to the schoolyard with him, even though she had to leave him there so that she could get back to the farm. And he was thankful that he already knew Biggs, who was already attending the school. But mostly, he was thankful to his invisible friend, for being there with him. It was that knowledge that allowed him to walk further into the schoolyard once his Aunt had left, that knowledge that allowed him to answer the teacher politely when she asked him a question, that knowledge that got him through the day.
That his friend, that Ani, was there with him.
It was also around that time that Luke found out that having an invisible friend wasn't nearly as rare as he thought it was � afterall, Aunt Beru had spoken as if she no longer had her invisible friend, and Luke couldn't imagine Uncle Owen ever speaking to someone he couldn't see � almost all the other kids around his age had invisible friends.
Although, Luke did find out that most of them hadn't had invisible friends until recently. Which made him feel rather pleased with the fact that he'd always had Ani, always known him.
That evening, when Aunt Beru asked Luke how his first day of school was, he quite cheerfully told her that was it was Wizard! (a word he'd picked up from Ani), before happily going off to help Uncle Owen with his chores.
When he was seven, Luke noticed that the other kids always seemed to have to speak out loud to their invisible friends in order to be heard. It wasn't something that he'd ever really thought much about before.
Luke had almost always spoken to Ani in his head, he realised, and rarely out loud. It wasn't something that he really thought about, he simply did it. And, he scrunched up his face in thought, he was pretty sure that he'd been doing it even before he'd properly learnt how to speak properly � to pronounce all his words.
In fact, now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure that he actually did hear Ani speak. At least, not out loud. It was more that the words would sound in his head, bypassing his ears entirely. And, he thought, sometimes they weren't even words exactly, but feelings. Knowledge.
But then Biggs called Luke over to join a game of kick-it-ball, and, feeling Ani's slight amusement at his haste to comply, he pushed the thoughts from his mind. It didn't really matter, afterall, so long as Ani continued to talk to him.
It was also that year that Luke became aware of another difference between his friend and the other kid's friends. Ani couldn't always talk to Luke.
When Biggs had excitedly come up to him one day, asking about Ani, and what he thought of playing a game of Tag, Luke had explained that Ani couldn't talk at the moment.
Biggs had frowned at Luke, trying to understand. �What do you mean he can't talk?� Biggs had asked, �make him answer me. Whoever heard of an invisible friend that can't talk.�
�He can talk,� Luke replied, �but not right now. Ani can't just talk to me anytime, he does have other things to do, you know. Can you talk to Shadow all the time?�
�Of course,� Biggs had replied. And, when Luke had asked the other kids, he had gotten the same answer.
This had bothered him at first, afterall, it would be nice if he didn't have times of silence, when Ani couldn't talk to him, and it seemed that the other kids' invisible friends could always talk to them. Oh, he could always seem to feel Ani nearby, as if he was there, but he couldn't always talk. Sometimes he said it was because he was busy, other times he said he'd explain when Luke was older (a response that Luke, like all kids his age, hated).
So Luke reminded himself that Ani was a special friend. He was Luke's friend. Besides, he'd begun to notice that the other invisible friends were really quite boring. So what if they were always there? They only ever said the kinds of things that the other kids would say, and always agreed with them.
Ani didn't always agree with Luke. In fact, he sometimes even yelled at Luke � when he was doing something that Ani called juvenile, suicidal and completely foolish (Luke was determined to find out what that first word meant someday).
So really, it was ok if Ani wasn't always able to talk. At least he was never boring.
When he was eight, Luke realised that it wasn't just his Aunt who lost her invisible friend. Cammie, one of the girls at school, told him that she no longer had an invisible friend.
Concerned, Luke had followed after her, asking if perhaps they'd had a fight, and her friend was no longer speaking to her. Cammie had fixed him with a rather condescending stare, sniffed once, and then turned away, saying that was she too old to have an invisible friend any longer.
Shocked, Luke had stumbled away from her, suddenly afraid that one day Ani would decide that Luke was too old, and he could no longer be his friend. Afterall, Cammie wasn't that much older than him, and if she was too old already...
But perhaps age had nothing to do with it. Maybe Cammie was just trying to hide the fact that she'd had a fight with her friend. But no, Aunt Beru had also said that she used to have an invisible friend, which meant that she didn't anymore, and Aunt Beru was certainly old... perhaps age did matter.
That afternoon was the first time that Luke skipped his classes.
Sitting in the slight shade offered where two corners of the schoolbuilding met, Luke had hunched down miserably, making himself as small as possible. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, he'd called out in his mind for his friend.
But Ani had not replied.
For a moment, Luke had panicked, feeling his breath coming hard and fast, and seeing black spots starting to appear in his vision. Was he already too old? Would Ani never speak to him again?
But then, he'd remembered, Ani couldn't always talk to him. He wasn't always able to. Although, he had the feeling that Ani was always around, even if he couldn't always talk to him.
Relaxing slightly, Luke had reached out for that feeling, clasping it to him, allowing it to comfort him. The feeling that was Ani. That was his friend.
And then Ani seemed to move closer to him, wrapping him in his arms and soothing him. I'll never leave you, Ani told him, and Luke believed him, for Ani had never lied to him before.
When he was ten, Luke became aware that perhaps there was more to his invisible friend then there was to the invisible friends of the other kids he knew. At ten, all the other kids had declared themselves to be too old for invisible friends.
Biggs had even tried to persuade Luke that he was too old as well. �No-one else has invisible friends any more Luke!� he'd said, �they're childish, just made-up, afterall.�
But Luke knew that Ani was not made up. His friend was not some figment of his imagination, he was real.
Still, Luke stopped talking about Ani then � but he never stopped talking to him. He continued to tell Ani about his days (although he had a feeling that Ani already knew), and about the newest project he was working on, or how he wanted to fly to the stars and get off this dustball of a planet (Ani had told him that he was a starpilot, and Luke couldn't think of anything better he could be).
He continued to get Ani's help when the Vaporators broke down and he had no idea how to fix them, or when he was scratching out designs for a custom-made skyhopper and wanted some input. Whenever Ani was around, he continued to speak to him.
Afterall, Ani couldn't always talk to him. Although, as he got older, Ani seemed to be around more often. When he had asked him about it, Ani had laughed, telling Luke that he was getting stronger.
Stronger? Luke didn't understand how his muscles could allow Ani to talk to him more than in the past, but perhaps they did. They must, for Ani never lied to him. Although he had a feeling that when Ani said he was stronger, he didn't mean Luke's muscles. What else his friend could mean, Luke had no idea.
Sometimes Ani wouldn't tell Luke the answers to his questions, but he never lied to him. Of that, Luke was sure.
By the time he was eleven, Luke realised that everyone thought he'd 'outgrown' Ani just as all the other kids had outgrown their invisible friends. Luke was determined to never outgrow Ani, even though he wasn't certain that Ani was his invisible friend anymore.
Not that Ani didn't still talk to him, or spend time with him, but Luke knew that Ani was nothing like the other invisible friends that all the other kids used to have.
Still, that feeling, the one that when he was younger had kept him from telling his Aunt about Ani for so long, was back. So Luke kept quiet, never telling anyone about the voice that he still talked to, about the feelings that would often fill his mind. About Ani.
It was also when he was eleven that Luke found out his father's name. Uncle Owen never liked to talk about Luke's father, something he had often complained to Ani about. At those times, he always seemed to feel that Ani was both slightly amused and sad, which he couldn't understand.
At eleven, Luke found out that his father's name was Anakin Skywalker.
Happily, he cried out the news in his mind to Ani, who seemed almost to withdraw, not answering him for many hours. Hurt, Luke had turned away from the motivator parts lying on the floor in his room that he and Ani were trying to adjust enough to start the beginnings of a droid � it had taken Luke years to gather enough parts to even make a start, and he often despaired on ever having enough to make a whole droid, but Ani had always encouraged him to do so - and wandered back outside, knowing that as soon as he saw him, Uncle Owen would give him some task to do that might occupy his mind for now.
It wasn't the first time that something Luke had said had make Ani retreat slightly, and he never went completely away, Luke always feeling him still, even if he felt further away. And Ani always came back, talking to Luke again as if nothing had happened, or answering the question that had made him retreat in the first place.
On one occasion, Ani had even admitted that he left sometimes because he didn't want to hurt Luke, that he'd been angry, but didn't want Luke to think he was angry with him.
Still, Luke was hurt.
His father meant a lot to him. Ani knew that his father meant a lot to him. It was to Ani that Luke had poured out his hopes and dreams for a perfect father, one who would come to take him away from here (although, Luke mused absently, he trudged towards the vaporator Uncle Owen had asked him to check on, he didn't think he'd ever actually told Ani exactly where here was. And Ani had never asked. Perhaps Ani already knew where he was...).
And he'd always seemed to feel that Ani was both excited, and yet... longing... for something when Luke spoke about his perfect father, who would be a starpilot, like Ani. At times, he'd even thought he may have felt some deep sadness or regret, from Ani.
But he hadn't thought that Ani would move away from him just because he found out his father's name!
Opening the side of the vaporator, and squatting down to look inside it and try and find the problem, Luke briefly wished that Ani was still talking to him, so that he could get his friend's advice. But Ani wasn't, and probably wouldn't be for some hours yet, so he got to work on it himself.
Besides, he thought slightly resentfully, it wasn't like he needed Ani's help in order to fix the stupid thing. He could do it himself. He knew far more about fixing things then even most of the adults in town.
Although, he admitted to himself moments later, it was nice to have someone helping to fix it with him. To bounce ideas off of. And it was Ani who had taught him most of what he knew.
Sighing, Luke focused his attention back on the vaporator, his father's name still rolling around warmly in the back of his mind.
And so it was that, mostly focused on his work, and only distantly sounding out his father's name, wondering about what a name could tell one about a person, or how other people might have addressed his father, that Luke came to a realisation.
He sat up quickly, hitting his head painfully on the edge of the vaporator, even as his thoughts clarified, and into such a revelation that he didn't even feel his sore head anymore.
Excitedly, Luke had cast his thoughts out to Ani, hoping that he would be talking to him again. He wasn't, but that didn't dim Luke's happiness. He didn't think anything could.
And so it was that, later that evening, when Ani returned to talk to Luke once more as he settled down into bed for the night, that Luke had welcomed him joyously, babbling about almost anything and everything, and seemingly unable to stop himself.
And, when, a little while later, Ani had bid him good night, chiding gently that Luke needed his sleep, Luke had rolled over, pulled his covers up over himself, and smiled slightly, and said,
�Goodnight Father.�