Wherein I Rant about Annoying, Brainless Fangirls
Does everyone know what TIME it is???
RANT TIME!!!
That`s right, it`s time for me to use my hour before Old Testament and Content to bring you another edition of "How Rosa Thinks The Universe Should Work"
Today`s target: The annoying fangirl.
Oh, we all know the type. They speak in an incomprehensible mix of English, Japanese, and Netspeak. They have a hard time holding down their shift keys and pressing enter. Capital letters are pure poison to their systems. They think that they`re adorably cute. They snuggle imaginary plushies of their favorite bishies and do all of the above while exuding some sort of "Stupid juice" that soaks into their every work and maks every intelligent fangirl on the internet bleed out of her eyeballs.
I do not aim this at all fangirls. I am, indeed, a fangirl myself. I`ve been known to get squealy and lame over Hawk, Yuki, Ami and Su, or Slacker. I`ve been known to moon over them, dedicate my life to them, and replaster my walls with their pictures. But I do it all with the most important element of being a fangirl.
INTELLIGENCE.
My original fandom was SD3. I have since moved out of the fanDOM, although I am still a raging SD3 FAN. SD3`s fangirls were actually very intelligent. Every now and then, you`d end up with a retard who would wander through the SD3 section off ff.net squealing "KOREN!!!! HEATHIE!!! KOREN!!! HEATHIE!!! i loves dem both yeah there so hawt lololol!11!!!111!! AS<HAKHSK!1!1!one!1! ilove them!!!1!!1!!eleven!!11" (I take bizarre pride in the knowledge that the retards were very rarely Hawk fangirls.) but they would soon vanish as their reception was cold. Pretty much the only problem with that fandom was the wierd fangirly obsession with pairing Kevin with Angela or Lise, something which I shall never understand, but I digress.
I spent about a week in the FY fandom. Then I ran away into a corner where I curled into the fetal position and made loud keening noises for hours on end, trying to collect the terrible, terrible mush that my brain had become. I couldn`t handle it. The line is blurred there between stupidity and being so stupid that you warp the fabric of the univarse [/8-bit joke]We`ve all heard me rant on this. Suffice to say, I have only ever read ONE good FY fic, and it was a wierd, creepy, Nakago/Tamahome semi-lime that I read out of morbid curiousity and a rec that it was good, though freaky. FY is just REALLY bad for that.
I`ve settled into the Gravi fandom as my default. Now, granted, there ARE some extraordinairily dumb people in the Gravi fandom, but there are also some smart ones. It`s an inbetween. So the Gravi fandom is where most of the references I want to rant about come from.
Here are some tips I want to give the annoying Gravi fangirls who scare, annoy, and amuse me all at once.
1. Repeated, annoying, random mentions of Kumagorou are not cute. Really, get the eff over it. One trip into ANY guestbook will show that someone has already taken your idea of thinking you own Kumagorou. They have also taken your idea of personifying Kumagorou and making him do something for you. Tey have also ALSO taken your idea of using the Kumagorou Beam -- which REALLY wasn`t that orginal in the first place. Yes, Kuma-kun is cute. Yes, he is the macot of Gravi. Yes, we all love Kumagorou. Now can we just LET RYUICHI HAVE HIM AND BE FREAKING DONE WITH IT????
2. Likewise, repeated, annoying, random insertions of "na no da" are not cute, EITHER. Ryuichi says na no da. It`s cute! It`s possibily even cuter than when Chichiri did it! It`s possibly the cutest thing that Ryuichi ever did! It`s totally cute!! It is NOT, however, cute when you do it.
Figure 1.1: And given guestbook insertion.
kumagorou and i love your site na no da!!1
3. They`re not yours. Okay? Okay, I will admit, in my ultimately lame, swoony, stupid, fangirly moment, I have been known to say "My Hawkie!!" or "My Yuki!!". These are extreme moment, and I am perfectly aware that they are not mine. I`m sick and tired of seeing Ryuichi, Shuichi, Yuki, Tatsuha and Tohma on chains with squeeing, annoying, "MINE!", grabby fangirls holding the leash. For one thing, I think that Yuki and Tohma would KILL you before letting you put them on leashes ... supposing they`re real. Which they AREN`T. I make a joke. These fangirls actually believe that these men are theirs -_-
4. Threatening other fangirls and battling over who loves the bishie more is not only LAME, it shows how incredibly BRAINLESS you are. When I find someone who is attracted to the same character I am, I`m HAPPY! Laine and I bond over our favorite HOTT guys all the TIME! Trebs and I once talked for half an hour about how much we love Slacker! I once had a squawling bitch fight over a girl (when I younger and dumber) about who Hawk "liked better". It was sad. I shall never go bad. They actually DO this! And they`re SERIOUS!! Ever see these fights? They`re, like, scarily vicious! I just want to go in there and say "NOT REAL, DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!"
Figure 1.2: I acually saw this in the ng.com guestbook
HHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BITCHES AND GAYLORDS, TATSUHA IS MINE AND NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT HIS MSN AHAHAAHHHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!111 SO PAWS OFF!!!!!!!!1111!!!1
5.You can`t speak Japanese. Give it up. Sorry, but you can`t. I can`t either. I can speak SOME. I`m sure you can speak some, too! In fact, EVERYONE WHO WATCHES GAWDDAMMED SUBTITLED ANIME KNOWS SOME! You`re not special, stop showing off! I will, sometimes, substitute "Ne" for "Hey", "Kawaii" for "Cute", or "Gomen" for "Sorry". Once in a million years, I`ll use "Arigatou" for "Thanks". Note the sometimes. The next person who I see submitting next to ENTIRE REVIEWS or ENTIRE STORIES in Japanese is going to get a nice virus in their inbox (I`m exagerating, before someone freaks out). But really! Anyone who`s really into anime KNOWS how to speak fankid Japanese. WE DON`T CARE!! I know something upwards 200 words in Japanese, but I`m not handing out fliers with a list of them all and a "GO ME!!!!" sticker on the top! Speak in English. Excuse is name endings. Name endings are cultural and have conotations that English words can`t really get. Some people call me Rosa-chan an it doesn`t bug me, and I call my two favorite mangaka Murakami-sensei and Watase-sensei. But .. please ... enough with the Japanese ... please?
Figure 1.3: Japanese Reviews get realy old really fast.
SUGOI!!!!! That was SOOOO KAWAIII!!!!! Onegai, update soon, desu ka????? Ganbatte!!!! Ja ne!!
6. Netspeak is not a language, go to hell. You has three letters, retard. Count em. Capital letters are your friends. If you insist on 7 full rows of exclamation marks, at least hold the shift key down. And if you`re going to ramble for double that, try to find where your ringinal thought endng and add for paragraphing? Please? Also ThIsIsReAlLyAnNoYiNgSoDoN`tDoItOrI`lLBaShYoUrFaCeIn. Also, things like "kthxbai" are stupid. Don`t do them. They make you stupid. The only excuse is when you do it to be wierd.
The point?
I was annoyed.
And bored.
I feel better now.
That was fun.
I hope you all can agree with me on the annoyness of "bad fangirls"
*wanders off to be an intelligent fangirl*
