Bumper Stickers
-I'm one bad relationship away from owning thirty cats.
-Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
-You can't make a person love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
-Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
-My child sold your honour student the answers to the test.
-I think my supply of brain cells in finally down to a managable level.
-Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
-My life needs a do-over.
-No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
-I so appreciate you point of view I almost regret dismissing it.
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
-Stupid kills... But not enough to really help.
-I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
-If you think nobody cares, Try missing a couple of car payments.
-Don't you have to go feed you flying monkeys?
-The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-The problem with sex in the movies is that your popcorn usually spills.
-Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
-Politicans and diapers should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
-Proudly serving my corporate masters.
-I bring nothing to the table.
-It's not the fall that hurts, it's that sudden stop at the end.
-They have an opening for you at the Witless Protection Program.
-My favourite memories are of the past.
-Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
-The beginning of wisdom is silence.I'm the kind of person I want me to stay away from.
-The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
-I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
-Join the IRS - be audit you can be.
-Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
-Reality bites!... And I have the teeth marks to prove it!
-You can fool some of the people all the time... and those are the ones to concentrate on.
-Forgive and Forget... but keep a list of names.
-Eliminate and abolish redundancy.
-I'd live up my potential if it didn't cut into my siting around time.
-I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.
-Noncomformists are all alike.
-I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
-Your village called - They're missing an idiot.
-I may not be very smart but I can lift heavy things.
-5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions.
-If money could talk it would say goodbye.
-Our drinking team has a football problem.
-Mediocre people are always at their best.
-My freedom is more important than your good idea.
-Few women admit their age. Few men act it.
-Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
-People would rather be wrong then different.
-According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
-Next year, vacation in hell... and coming back to work won't seem so bad.
-The road to success is under construction.
-Everyone smiles in the same language.
-Due to recent cut backs, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
-My mom is a travel agent for guilt trips.
-If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
-What if the Hokey-Pokey is what it's all about?
-Don't drink and derive. Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
-Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
-All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-The best way to save face is to keep the lower part of it shut.
-Don't make me crush your pathetic little civilizations.
-Radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives.
-My mood rings says BACK OFF!
-Finally 21 and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.
-Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
-Stop that damn profanity!
-Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
-Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
-Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.
-Chaos, Panic and Disorder. My work here is done.
-When it rains cats and dogs, don't step in a poodle.
-Everyone is entitled to my opinion. (One of my fav's, I have a t-shirt I have with this saying)
-Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scarey in there.
-Change is inevitable... Except from vending machines.
-Support bacteria!! It's the only culture some people have.
-I'll rise, but I won't shine.
-Gee, I'd like to care, but I don't possess that gene.
-An eye for an eye... leaves the whole world blind.
-Always remember, plunder first, then burn!
-You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
-Don't judge a book by its movie.
-I've seen normal, it ain't pretty.
-I think, therefore I'm dangerous.
-Don't steal. The government hates competition.
-Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-I'm going off to find myself. If you see me before I get back, please let my know where I'll be.
-They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.
-Don't you think hard work must've killed someone?
-I'm not a complete iditot. Some parts are missing.
-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-Grow your own dope, plant a man.
-I'm looking forward to regretting this.
-What if there were no hypothetical questions?
-Tell me, where is this bright side you speak off?
-I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
-I used to think I was indecisive, but now I 'm not so sure.
-A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
-Trust in god, but lock your car.
-I'm not hyperactive; the universe is hyperslow.
-My mind's made up. Please don't confuse me with the facts.
-Follow your dreams. (Except the one where you're at school in your underwear.)
-Somedays you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
-On the other hand, you have different fingers.
-A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
-Just 2,852,677 more days til I start to care what you think.
-If a pig flies, don't criticize it for not staying up long.
-Here I Am!! Now, what are your other two wishes?
-If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
-If a man says something in the woods and no one's there to hear it, is he still wrong?
-What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-Good judgement comes from experience... and most of that comes from bad judgement.
-Heck is where people go who don't believe in gosh.
-Does dark have a speed too?
-We already have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
-A man who lies is not upright.
-It's bad luck to be superstitious.
-There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.
-Friends don't let friends drive naked.
-I have nothing against god, it's his followers that I can't stand.
-One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
-Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-You can't have everything, where would you put it?
-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
-Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
-That's me in a nutshell. (Would somebody please help me out?)
-Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
-There's one in every crowd... and they always find me!!
-Birds of a feather flock together --- and poop on your car.
-Zero to bitch in 3.5 seconds.
-Caution: I know karate (and seven other Japanese words)
-Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name the streets after them.
-He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can Die.
-Well behaved women don't make history.
-Keep your butt in the car. The earth in NOT your ashtray.
-Take a bite out of crime. (It tastes like chicken.)
-BEER--Helping white people dance since 1837.
-I'm not antisocial, I just hate being with people.
-Keep the earth clean. It isn't Uranus.
-Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
-A women has the last word in any argument. What a man says after that is the start of a new argument.
-Veni Vidi Velcro, I came, I saw, I got stuck.
-Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
-I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
-Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
-If you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten.
