| MY OPINIONS (For What They Are Worth) |
| For some reason, as I get older, many younger people must think that I have accumulated wisdom over the years, and therefore they often ask questions about my opinions on certain subjects about my life and Gay life in particular. Well, I can assure you, that I don't pretend to have accumulated much wisdom in my 70 odd years, (or if I have, I seem to have forgotten where I left it!). But I have become very opinionated about certain subjects. Here are my answers to some of the questions often asked. |
| QUESTION: What would you say and how do you think you would react, if one of your children had 'come out' to you that they were Gay or Lesbian? |
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| First, I think my reaction would depend a great deal on whether it happened before or after I had come out. I would have many feelings, and none of them would be joy. If it happened when they were younger and I had not come out to them yet, my first reaction would be of utter dismay. As a Father, I always wanted the best and a happy life for my kids, and being gay was certainly not the easiest way to achieve a happy and settled life in the 60's. However, I, of course, would support and show my love for the one concerned. (and try not to ask 'Are you sure?) However if the news came after I had come out the dismay and sadness would still be there, but I would also have guilt thrown in with my feelings. Did I over glamourize Gay Life in trying to show them that I was happy and end up convincing them that it was a desireable life? Of course that is the Father thinking. Later, after I had a good cry alone in my room, the Gay me, would realize that it just doesn't work that way, and I would start to plan ahead to ensure that the son or daughter concerned has all my support and love to get through the rough spots ahead. They would also see however, that one can find complete peace and happiness by using Ron and I as examples. |
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| QUESTION: We realize that Gay life changed greatly with Stonewall and brought about Gay Pride as well as many other changes. What does Gay Pride mean to you and do you take part in the celebrations? |
| That's an interesting question. Let me start by stating outright, that I do not feel any pride about being homosexual! That would be like my parents or my kids saying that they were proud of being heterosexual. That's ridiculous, because you cannot be proud of something that you had nothing to do with. You can only feel real pride in your accomplishments in life, the way you conduct your actions and the way you treat your fellow human being. We all know that if you happen to be born Gay, these atributes are exceptionally more difficult to attain. But they are possible, and when you successfully accomplish them, you deserve to be proud. That, is what I call Gay Pride. It always shocks me, when I look back on my life and realize that the things I have done that I am really ashamed of, were almost all a result of my being Gay and not accepting it to myself nor allowing others to accept it. Once I had 'come out' both to myself and my family, my whole outlook on life changed. I no longer had to pretend to be something I wasn't, in order to succeed. I no longer had to hide my sexual identity to prove myself. In otherwords, I was not proud to be Gay, but I was, and am, proud as hell of what I did with my life regardless of what some people may have thought of my being Gay. And, yes, I take part in the festivities during Gay Pride week when ever I can. Ron and I particularly loved to meet our friends during the Gay pride weekend in Toronto's Gay Village. We partake in the wonderful restaurants and bars that abound there, as well as the great shopping. (To say nothing of staring at the beautiful bodies walking around!) We also enjoy the parade, especially in Toronto as it is one of, if not the, largest in North America. I just wish the media would stress the positive side of the events instead of blowing up out of all proportion, the isolated individuals who insist on doing things that are in poor taste in public. |
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| QUESTION: When is the right time to "Come Out"? Obviously, there is no laid down age to come out. It depends on far too many factors. Generally speaking, I am thrilled to see more and more young gays in their early teens who are strong enough to come out to their families and friends. However, not all should attempt it at an early age. If a gay boy or girl strongly feel that coming out will completely estrange them from their parents and could lead to the posibility of being thrown out of the house, obviously, good sense should prevail. Wait until you are self-sufficient and capable of finishing your eductaion and fulfilling your dreams. Don't cut off your nose to save your face! Besides, perhaps by waiting a few years, your parents will eventually suspect anyway, (especially your mother) and they will become more open to accepting the fact. |
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