There are several parts of my life where I made seriously wrong choices. Some were a result of the times,
and some were a result of weaknesses on my part. I will try to answer both your questions as I recount my errors.
The most obvious poor choice, of course, was rushing into marriage before going overseas while in the army. At this stage in my life, it is impossible for me to say that I regret that choice. I cannot picture my existence without my children and grandchildren who are my proudest achievements. Having said that however, my advice to young gays, is to avoid this mistake. You guys are living in an age where it is not necessary for you to hide behind a herterosexual marriage to exist. I have no doubt at all that within your lifetime, you will not only be able to marry with your chosen loved one legally, but you will be able to adopt and raise your own child and therefore, you will realize the joys that go with that responsibilty.
Another regret in my life, was my infidelity to my wife while in Germany. Even though I was naive enough at the time, not to recognize it as adultery, I knew it was wrong. I also genuinely regret my dishonesty to Gunther while I was there. I know he truly loved me, yet I hid from him the one thing that would keep us from a life together, my marriage. My advice? Obviously, to be honest with, and to, those you love. If you do things that you feel you have to hide from those closest to you, you are obviously going to hurt them in the long run.
The one big area in my life I would hope I would change if I had it to live over, was my wild promiscuous life style in the 70s before I met Ron. It still scares the hell out of me, how close I came to death for the sake of satisfying my pent-up desires at the time. I had no right to jeopardize the life of my kids' father or their kids' grandfather, who they would need in their lives; nor the life of my parents' son, who was the only one who would be there when they needed help in their ageing years. To this day, I continue to thank God for saving me from AIDS as He was the only one who knew the destiny of my life. Advice? Rather obvious! If the shoe fits, please wear it!
Of course meeting Ron not only was the turning point in my life, but was the reason for my happiest years. When I think back over all my life, I realize that, if I had to choose any one thing to live differently, my life afterwards would have changed so drastically I would likely not have met Ron.
So that makes everything I did, right or wrong, worthwhile, and
I wouldn't change a thing. |
