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ON INTO THE GAY '90s |
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The balance of the 80s were happy years. As you can see if you follow our travels on other pages, we were kept busy going to Atlantic City again, Las Vegas again, Manzanillo Mexico, and completed the 80's with our magnificent RSVP Gay Cruise in 1989 followed by a second RSVP Cruise in 1990. and of course Florida. |
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Meanwhile, back at our cottage, we started what eventually became an annual event with a picnic we held for Mom's 80th birthday in June 86. We invited all of my relatives and all of Ron's relatives who could possibly attend. That first picnic was attended by 64 adults and children and was such a success that we held picnics for both families every year but one for the next 11 years. There was always a theme like June's 60th birthday, Ron's brother Dave's 50 birthday etc. We called them the TOM-MAR Annual Picnic after our family names. (Tomlinson & Marshall) |
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Ron and I also started a Christmas tradition that we affectionately called the "TOM-MAR Seniors Dinner" We would serve Christmas dinner to My Mom & Dad, Ron's Dad and Step Mom, His step mom's Mother, and Ron's Aunt and Uncle. They ranged in age from 70 to 98 the last time they were all able to attend. They have now all passed on except for two. We really miss those special dinners. |
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June's 60th birthday picnic |
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I'm sure you are saying, 'Why in God's name is he telling us all this? This has nothing to do with being Gay! " But that is where you are wrong. When Ron and I got together, we both agreed that we did not want our relationship to alienate us from our families. We worked hard to ensure both families were included in our life together. Sure there were problems. I had one favourite cousin who told me back when I first came out, that she would never accept me as a gay man, and for a while she would not have anything to do with me. But attitudes changed and family closeness soon prevailed. This past couple of years, both her kids have married and Ron and I were invited to the weddings and sat at the table with the immediate family. Just this morning while I was working on my home page, a message came through from Ron's younger brother, inviting us to a small get-together for Ron's Uncle's 90th birthday. These sort of things are important to us and we feel so sad when we hear of so many Gays and Lesbians being ostrasized by their families. |
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Mom's 80th birthday picnic |
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The first three years of the 90s were filled with many vacation trips and family events, We also had a major renovation done to our 'cottage' getting ready for our retirement in Jan '95. |
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But all this fun and good fortune was about to come to a grinding and scary halt, when I started to have severe stomach problems in the summer of 1992. I went to about 5 specialists who made me suffer through every painful and embarassing test they have ever invented. However they finally put me in the hospital for exploretory surgery. Before they could do it however, they had discovered a growth on my lung which they decided was higher priority and scheduled an operation to remove part of my left lung. However before doing that operation, they discovered a tumour in my groin area. They did a biopsy and determined it was malignant and that I had Hodgkin's disease and would require 6 months of extremely heavy Chemo Therapy treatments. Meanwhile, they went ahead with the lung operation and took out the lower half of my left lung. Luckily , the growth that caused that operation, was not malignant. The stomach and bowel problems still persisted and had caused further problems with my prostate so I had to go through another operation to correct that. They finally discharged me to undergo the 6 month Chemo. This was almost 12 weeks after being admitted - and I still had the same stomach problems. They finally put me on a Celiac diet of no wheat or other grain products and the problem cleared up on its own. But believe me, without Ron at my side, I would never have got through the next 6 months. It was deffinitely the worst time of my life - but it worked --- I have been in complete remission for over 17 years. |
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This is me after 3 weeks of Chemo treatments. . |
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Summer of 92 Mom, Dad, June & me. |
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Xmas 1992 after 3 months of Chemo. There were no more pictures after I saw this one. until the chemo was finished |
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TO RETIREMENT |
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HOME |
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