A typical jamaa triggers off a battle by writing to his better half about a number of issues....like crossing seas for her... The reply is in the pipeline!
Updated my JOURNAL Some people should be banned from dance floors
Starting work on my lists. Should be done in about a week or so.
Read Friday's Edition

LEARN KARATE
WEAR A DRESS
MAKE SITE
FIND ME A NICE GIRL (Who doesn't chew, smoke, boil or suck tobacco)
CONVINCE NICE GIRL THAT AM A NICE GUY
LEARN TO KNIT
HAVE THE LAST WORD
START MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
GET ME A NEW COMPUTER

But I digress. Those of us who find ourselves next to our brothers and sisters in Christ or whoever it is we pray to. And some of these things our brothers and sisters do do not leave me with the urge to love my brother. They give me the urge to smack my brother's head.

For instance you are in the high notes of Amazing Grace when you notice a gentleman with his finger so far up his nose all you can see of his arm is his elbow. After such a vision the sound is much less sweet than before, and the spirit is not so free. And the chap is wigglng and twisting his arm with energy in a bid to dislodge something up his nasal passages. Finesse is ruthlessly thrown out the window in favour of brute force. If you do this my friend do not attempt to shake my hand. I wish you all the peace in the world but I believe that here are better ways for me to obtain my proteins!

Then there are fellers who find that the middle of the sermon is the best time to evacuate blackheads, burst pimples and check if sores are still oozing substances that should not be oozed. I refuse to wish such an individual "peace to you, brother!"

Sisters in Christ are no less innocent! If you find that your nose is running the most prudent thing to do is secure a handkerchief to attend to such delicate matters. If things are really desperate, a serviette will have to do the job. If things are really desperate shamelessly make use of a sleeve for the purpose! However using your hands when you think no one is looking is just not on! We can see you!

Am not done yet! And if you find that an itch has developed in your nether regions I can assure you that attempting to relieve it there and then will be noticed and observed with considerable interest, especially by the younger members of the congregation who find "The Prodigal Son" much less interesting than your attempts to relieve your unease! Even the older members will stray a bit. This is the same shameless bugger that will attempt to shake your hand in a bid to wish you peace as well as dipping those same fingers in the Holy Water that an unsuspecting toddler will dip his chubby fingers in and later transfer to his mouth...

Let us not forget those who arrive in the TMTMB style. (Tease me, tease me baby) In case you are wondering what this is, this is a style where a chap puts on a pair of trousers and does not quite pull them all the way up. This chap also considers innerwear to be cramping to his style and image so dispenses with the item. The result is a view of the individual's nether regions that quite frankly is the last thing one wants to see when one has just done justice to an excellent breakfast where a pig made an appearance three times -- sausage, bacon and ham. Such a vision immediately before you will scar you for life!

In my own Abode am a prisoner! Indeed, a prisoner! Received into the household an old friend of the Patriarch who we shall refer to as Mr. Ojo. Short, stout, eager and excitable were my first impressions of that gent. And the successive revelations of his demeanor brought me to the conclusion that there must be a better word in the English vocabulary than talkative. This chap can talk. He finds the sound of his voice soothing, entertaining, interesting, informative and exciting at once. I, however, entertain no such sentiments. I have doubts that gent's upper and lower teeth have ever been in contact for more than a few seconds. And the chief topic of Mr. Ojo's banter is Mr. Ojo. To Mr. Ojo, there is nothing upon God's green earth more fascinating than Mr. Ojo. He holds forth on who he is, who he was, what he did in his youth, what he didn't do in his youth and what he planned to do. Getting a word in edgewise is an exercise in futility!

Granted, it is a bit too late for them to do it but the Kenya Rugby team made some short work of the Carmeoonians in a spirited match over the weekend. There can be no doubt that some excellent rugby was played though the beginning stages of the match were a lot more than a tad lackluster... However the qualifications for Argentina have been more than concluded so regretfully I shall not be watching the action from the stands in Argentina but from a stool at Kengeles...

Their counterparts on the soccer side however have a lot of work to do judging by their past performances. Controversy, innuendo and peccadilloes have dogged that team, its coaches and staff like nothing else! To an extent that it has become a soap opera of sorts! Perhaps fortune will smile upon these boys soon!

Even when I have a million and one things to do (including watching the paint on my gate dry) I have the right to be lazy and refuse to send out several e-mails when just one will do. Especially this week when I seem to have a billion and one things to do! I believe firmly in shooting two birds with one bullet (No KSPCA cracks please!)

Gathoni: Got me hook, line and sinker my dear!!
Paulo: My dear chap, long time no see! If I recall rightly I last came across you 2 years back! Anyway my son, the reason the Special Air Service is so good at what they do is that they do what it is they do quickly, thoroughly and well without anyone knowing what the hell they are doing!
Emma: Worry not! You will be treated very well!
Laura: Aha! Seems that there have been some crossed wires. I shall rectify the situation ASAP!
Miamama: If you hook me up with a way to contact you, no doubt something can be arranged
Judy: Met my end of the bargain. Je wewe?
Ngumu: Habari ya maisha bana! About those pictures -- the attachment was too large and therefore the mail client flatly refused to send it but am working on it ;-)
Joe: I sure do hope that you're still a good boy.... but then again, knowing you, I doubt it :-)

eOnline.com: Entertainment online. Dazzling array of music, video and entertainment news.
Mandrake.com: Official site on Linux Mandrake, THE Linux of choice!
RedHat.com: Official site on RedHat Linux -- also pretty good distribution
All Links Kenyan: Kenyan portal with links to just about anything even remotely Kenyan and more!
VisualBuider.com: Windows Development site with all sorts of neat tips and tricks. Check it out!
Audio Galaxy!!: Now this is a site where you can get music from Aaliyah to Ziggy Marley. The good people who run this site are responsible for the fact that close to 2GB of Imelda my workstation have been taken over by MP3s that show no sign of leaving...
Cartoon Network!!: Er... my small brother insisted that I put this in. OK, Ok -- I LIE! One of my favourite sites!
Mashada: If you want to waste a lot of time that would be better spent studying or doing some actual work, waste it here!
SourceForge.Net: Now this here is THE site for developers and development
Sun Java: Sun's Microsysytems' Official Java Site
Mwanamke: And I thought I was weird...