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transcendence of love
by star dragon
NC-17/S
http://minkland.dreamhost.com/stardrag1.htm
SYNOPSIS:
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After 400 years of celibacy, Cale finds the
reincarnation of his first true love in Seiji. But
will Seiji remember what they once had, and can
enemies become lovers?
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MISH:
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There�s a lot I have to say about this fic, and most
of it is good. However, before we get to that, I want
to get the not so good stuff out of the way.
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MAKO:
MISH:
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First, the sentence structure could use some
improvement. Even though there are only two
characters at any one time throughout most of the
story, it gets a bit confusing as to who�s doing what
with the way it�s written... even when Star Dragon
tells us quite clearly who�s doing what.
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MAKO:
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I had a hard time following the fic in parts as well.
I am also under the
influence of medication lately, too, so that may be why
I had a hard time
reading this for review purposes. =/
excerpt:
He smiled as he admired the way he looked in the
clothes, Sage had good taste. He frowned slightly,
Sage had been an enigma to him today. Sage had seemed
terribly uncomfortable around him last night and early
this morning, Cale wasn't sure if any one else had
noticed,
or even could notice the subtle signs, but he had.
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MISH:
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Secondly, the descriptions get a bit long-winded in
some parts. I admit that my mind started to wander
while reading all the description, so much so that I
missed the first kiss, and had to read it again.
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MAKO:
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Again, hard to follow at times, or to keep on track of
what's going on.
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MISH:
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However, because I read it over again, I found out
that it was Heiru who initiated the kiss. That came
as a bit of a surprise because, until then, the story
was written in Cale�s point of view, and reader�s had
no idea what Heiru was thinking. I thought it would
be Cale who puckered up first, but I do love
unexpected turns of events.
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MAKO:
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I had to reread the whole fic to get the whole effect,
I actually missed
this bit as well the first go around. But for all the
excessive description
it is a well thought out story. I usually don't like
a lot of the warlord
fics out there simply because they tend to be
one-sided; "I'm in charge, and
there's nothing you can do about it!" The warlords are
portrayed a lot of
times as heartless bastards. While it's true that
they are the "Bad Guys,"
so to speak, they do show quite a bit of humanity in
the series. Of course
that could be just the way I interpret the series.
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MISH:
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Also, I really liked the journal-entry style the fic
was written in. Unlike other fics that flashback to
how two parties met, and then fastforward to the shagging,
this fic outlines and develops the relationship
between Cale and Heiru. And, by Jove, someone�s
figured out how to do flashbacks! This is the first
fanfic I�ve read that has incorporated a flashback
into the fic seamlessly. Congrats to Star Dragon for
that.
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MAKO:
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YAY! I wasn't told there was a flashback!!! I am
literate after all. Even
though I did have to reread the fic over again, this
is one thing I didn't
miss. Couldn't have if I tried! Kudos to Ms. Star
Dragon for showing
potential yaoi authors how flashbacks can be
done...PROPERLY!
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MISH:
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Another thing I like about this fic is the fact that
it is a warlord fic. There are too few Warlord Lovin
fics out there; because of that, a fic with only one warlord
seems refreshing. And for a show that doesn�t develop
the bad guys well enough to establish their character,
I thought Star Dragon kept Cale in character very
well.
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MAKO:
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Refer to what I said earlier about why I usually avoid
warlord fics. It is
true that the series doesn't really give the warlords
time to show their
character till towards the end. But with virtues such
as Piety, Obedience,
Loyalty, and Serenity, they can't be
completely heartless
bastards.
excerpt:
"But I don't like too many people
knowing my name, even though someone like you probably
wouldn't live long enough to tell it anyway. You
should try and stay alive you unworthy fuck."
The young man's eyes were wide and he seemed a bit
taken aback by Cale's words. "Y-you�"
Cale raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"You really are uncouth!"
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MISH:
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And of course, the one thing I like about all good
yaoi fics... the shagging! This fic certainly isn�t a
one night stand type deal. The timeline style of this
fic allows for mulitple shag scenes, and thank the
gods there were. As if one wasn�t enough, this fic
keeps the reader satisfied.
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MAKO:
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Ah yes, shag! Lotsa shagging for the yaoi addict.
Nothing better than a
good shag fic. And Star Dragon uses the timeline of
the fic to make it a
veritable porn flick! Gotta love that!
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MISH:
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No less than an 8/10. Despite the room for
grammatical improvement, I found myself really
enjoying the fic as a fic. Besides, who can resist
some Warlord Lovin? =)
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MAKO:
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I'll grant the fic with a 7 out of 10. I had a little
harder time than Mish fully understanding the POVs and general plot at
first. Don't get me wrong, this is a fab fic for shag
fans!
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NOTE:
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