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by star dragon
NC-17/S
http://minkland.dreamhost.com/stardrag1.htm
SYNOPSIS:
| After 400 years of celibacy, Cale finds the reincarnation of his first true love in Seiji. But will Seiji remember what they once had, and can enemies become lovers? |
MISH:
| There�s a lot I have to say about this fic, and most of it is good. However, before we get to that, I want to get the not so good stuff out of the way. |
MAKO:
| Teehee... Wait for it... |
MISH:
| First, the sentence structure could use some improvement. Even though there are only two characters at any one time throughout most of the story, it gets a bit confusing as to who�s doing what with the way it�s written... even when Star Dragon tells us quite clearly who�s doing what. |
MAKO:
|
I had a hard time following the fic in parts as well.
I am also under the
influence of medication lately, too, so that may be why
I had a hard time
reading this for review purposes. =/
excerpt: He smiled as he admired the way he looked in the clothes, Sage had good taste. He frowned slightly, Sage had been an enigma to him today. Sage had seemed terribly uncomfortable around him last night and early this morning, Cale wasn't sure if any one else had noticed, or even could notice the subtle signs, but he had. |
MISH:
| Secondly, the descriptions get a bit long-winded in some parts. I admit that my mind started to wander while reading all the description, so much so that I missed the first kiss, and had to read it again. |
MAKO:
| Again, hard to follow at times, or to keep on track of what's going on. |
MISH:
| However, because I read it over again, I found out that it was Heiru who initiated the kiss. That came as a bit of a surprise because, until then, the story was written in Cale�s point of view, and reader�s had no idea what Heiru was thinking. I thought it would be Cale who puckered up first, but I do love unexpected turns of events. |
MAKO:
| I had to reread the whole fic to get the whole effect, I actually missed this bit as well the first go around. But for all the excessive description it is a well thought out story. I usually don't like a lot of the warlord fics out there simply because they tend to be one-sided; "I'm in charge, and there's nothing you can do about it!" The warlords are portrayed a lot of times as heartless bastards. While it's true that they are the "Bad Guys," so to speak, they do show quite a bit of humanity in the series. Of course that could be just the way I interpret the series. |
MISH:
| Also, I really liked the journal-entry style the fic was written in. Unlike other fics that flashback to how two parties met, and then fastforward to the shagging, this fic outlines and develops the relationship between Cale and Heiru. And, by Jove, someone�s figured out how to do flashbacks! This is the first fanfic I�ve read that has incorporated a flashback into the fic seamlessly. Congrats to Star Dragon for that. |
MAKO:
| YAY! I wasn't told there was a flashback!!! I am literate after all. Even though I did have to reread the fic over again, this is one thing I didn't miss. Couldn't have if I tried! Kudos to Ms. Star Dragon for showing potential yaoi authors how flashbacks can be done...PROPERLY! |
MISH:
| Another thing I like about this fic is the fact that it is a warlord fic. There are too few Warlord Lovin fics out there; because of that, a fic with only one warlord seems refreshing. And for a show that doesn�t develop the bad guys well enough to establish their character, I thought Star Dragon kept Cale in character very well. |
MAKO:
|
Refer to what I said earlier about why I usually avoid
warlord fics. It is
true that the series doesn't really give the warlords
time to show their
character till towards the end. But with virtues such
as Piety, Obedience,
Loyalty, and Serenity, they can't be
completely heartless
bastards.
excerpt: "But I don't like too many people knowing my name, even though someone like you probably wouldn't live long enough to tell it anyway. You should try and stay alive you unworthy fuck." The young man's eyes were wide and he seemed a bit taken aback by Cale's words. "Y-you�" Cale raised an eyebrow, "What?" "You really are uncouth!" |
MISH:
| And of course, the one thing I like about all good yaoi fics... the shagging! This fic certainly isn�t a one night stand type deal. The timeline style of this fic allows for mulitple shag scenes, and thank the gods there were. As if one wasn�t enough, this fic keeps the reader satisfied. |
MAKO:
| Ah yes, shag! Lotsa shagging for the yaoi addict. Nothing better than a good shag fic. And Star Dragon uses the timeline of the fic to make it a veritable porn flick! Gotta love that! |
MISH:
| No less than an 8/10. Despite the room for grammatical improvement, I found myself really enjoying the fic as a fic. Besides, who can resist some Warlord Lovin? =) |
MAKO:
| I'll grant the fic with a 7 out of 10. I had a little harder time than Mish fully understanding the POVs and general plot at first. Don't get me wrong, this is a fab fic for shag fans! |
NOTE:
|
This fic was loosely based on the DJ entitled "The Way
of Darkness" by Kaim Tachibana and translated by Jink.
The DJ can be found here:
http://freeweb.pdq.net/debrala/stories/jink/way01.html
Fic reviewed on August 27, 2000 |