|
 |
 |
save tonight
by Aaron
SF/PG/S
http://minkland.dreamhost.com/aaron4.html
SYNOPSIS:
|
The Ronin boys become rather nostalgic as they go their separate ways.
|
MISH:
|
This fic presents a challenge for me. I don�t know by what standards to begin reviewing a songfic; they�re written so radically different from regular fanfics. Nevertheless, I�ll give it a try...
To begin, I must say, Eagle Eye Cherry never made me this emotional. Were I more of an emotional person, this fic could have easily been a tearjerker. It just has that much sap.
|
MAKO:
|
Unfortunately, I'm a sucker for sap. *sniff* This fic
is so heart wrenchingly
sweet, I don't know where to begin... not bad for such
a short fic, either.
I usually see if the fic suits the song, and in this
case, Aaron did a
FANTASTIC job. I mean, look at this;
the detail is so
vivid, I can easily picture the song playing in the
background.
excerpt:
Rowen enters the room and steps behind Sage, the archer wrapping his muscled arms in a strong but gentle hug. Rowen let�s him go and Sage walks over to an ice bucket next to his be and pulls out a bottle of wine. He pours two glasses handing one to Rowen. They tap their glasses together in an unspoken toast of Love and Friendship.
|
MISH:
|
The fic uses a screenplay style, almost as though Aaron was trying to direct the song�s music video.
|
MAKO:
|
Yeah, Aaron should direct videos for MTV. Lord knows
they need all the help
they can get lately.
|
MISH:
|
It�s an unconventional way to write fiction, but it works as a technique to keep the reader�s attention focused on specific objects the writer wants to highlight.
|
MAKO:
|
The video style in the fic
really adds to the emotion
Aaron is trying to portray. The "videoness" of the
fic helps to blend the
scenes so as not to confuse the reader with all the
different elements he
crammed into a relatively short piece.
|
MISH:
|
In this fic, however, Aaron also uses it to denote the passage of time, which is unnecessary in fiction (but not in music videos).
excerpt:
The screen lingers a second on the couple then makes it way to a nearby window. Creeping outside, the screen pans to the top of the house. Time passes and with it the sun rises signaling the beginnings of a new day.
|
MISH:
|
There is one thing in particular that I feel I need to point out in this fic: the tensing. Aaron did an exceptional job of keeping the entire fic in the present tense.
|
MAKO:
|
One of the things I see in a lot of fics -- and I'm
guilty of it, too -- is the
jumping of tenses. It is hard for the novice writer,
(and Mish will vouch
for me on this one)...
|
MISH:
MAKO:
|
... to keep their story in one tense, especially if the
author starts off in the present.
|
MISH:
|
Writers who switch tenses sporadically really grate my nerves, and that only seems to happen when writers write in the present tense but lapse into the more commonly used past tense. Aaron manages to stay in the present tense which is something I really appreciate.
|
MISH:
|
I would have given this fic a 7, but for fitting all of the Ronins equally into a really short fic, I�ll give it an extra point. 8/10.
|
MAKO:
|
9 out of 10, easy! Aaron did such a wonderful
job at keeping my
attention focused on what he wanted to say.
Fic reviewed on April 11, 2000
|
|
|
 |
|