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by Mako
PWP/D/NC-17
http://www.geocities.com/jaya1715/makothegoddess1.html
and the sequel:
http://www.geocities.com/jaya1715/makothegoddess2.html
SYNOPSIS:
| It's a story written by the head hentai herself. We figured it would only be fair to include something by one of us. The story is a lemon, centered on an interesting date with Rowen and Sai. Sai fans may not recognize their favorite fish and that's just the way I planned it. |
MISH:
|
Ahem...
*Puts her right hand over her heart.* I, Mish Irish, do solemnly swear to not critique this fic according to it's html. I will uphold the oath of the Ronin Yaoi Review Team to base my judgment solely on the content of the story in question. Thank you. So, to the story itself, there are a few minor grammatical problems, but your New Zealand/Aussie/Hawaiian conflicting educational upbringing excuses you from that. ...For now. |
MAKO:
| Hmph! I'm glad you'll forgive my 'questionable' educational background; maybe that's why I asked you to edit for me, huh? |
MISH:
| Thank God you did. |
MAKO:
| As for the html, the place I sent it from doesn't do html too well...or at all, come to think of it. I promise from now on that all fics will be sent from an e-mail addy that DOES support html. So there! |
MISH:
| On the other hand, Mako has a gift for detail at times. Her description of Seline is so thorough that it�s impossible not picture it. Plus, I drool at the prospect of Rowen in a goatee. |
MAKO:
| As for the detail... weeelllll, let's just say I've got an interesting story behind the goatee. I'm also working on a pic for the fic as well, and you know my eye for detail on that front. I'm more artistic when it comes to the drawing board than I am with the keyboard. By the way, you haven't ruined the Ryo pic that I sent you with drool yet, have you? |
MISH:
|
...Not as much as I've ruined the printout of this fic. Check out some of this detail.
excerpt: The soft lips were brushed with a shimmering pale lavender gloss, and the sultry eyes which penetrated his soul were highlighted in >shades > of pale pinks and burgundy giving them an etherial quality. Her left bicep was graced with a silver cuff and a pair of silver chainmail earrings hung from her lobes. "M My God..." Rowens voice left him completely. "You look stunning too, mon chere." a soft voice replied with a perfectly imitated french accent. |
MISH:
| And that's only part of the vivid imagery. But...French? *gack* You couldn�t have chosen any other nationality that is stereotypically full of "aloof, sultry vixen[s]"? |
MAKO:
| Sorry. Frog, er... French was the first thing that came to mind. |
MISH:
| The pace of the story starts out well, but speeds up a bit during the first shag scene. Couldn�t wait to get to the cold shower, could you, Mako? |
MAKO:
| Nope! |
MISH:
| Part two slows down again... |
MAKO:
| Cold showers do work, you know! As for the rush in the first half, I'm not sure what happened there. Maybe my mind was working faster than my fingers could type. |
MISH:
| ...but is very heavy on the PWP. Of course, that�s not necessarily a bad thing... |
MISH:
| 6.5 out of 10. Fabulous description of Seline, but I do have that flaw of liking stories with clear, original plots better than PWP fics. |
MAKO:
|
I can be a bit harsh with myself, so I reread it and decided it was a 6 out of 10. The fact that I rushed it might have something to do with it.
Fic reviewed on April 4, 2000 |