(As the July promo for F. U. 2000 - Fully Uncensored fades from the screen, the viewing audience is blasted into the jam packed and SOLD OUT Bad ASS Arena! With the "Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine blasting throughout every mega speaker, bright red fireworks explode over the ring BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Without warning, a string of pyrotechnics surround the entranceway, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop startling the crowd and we are brought down to ringside for an interview with Lock-N-Load Editor Mike Hunt. Dressed in his tan khakis a WeWA polo t-shirt, Hunt places his left hand to his ear piece shielding his ear drums from the cheers of the crowd.)
Mike Hunt: Good evening fans and welcome to Tombstone Arizona the home of Bad ASS Championship Wrestling! I'm Lock-N-Load Editor Mike Hunt, and believe me when I say the atmosphere here is electric! People began lining up at the door hours before the event and with the new influx of WeWA Superstars, it appears the old timers have finally been eclisped! What about guys like Destoryer you say? Well, it seems this new breed has turned up the heat in the kitchen making even tough for Jack Kraven to remain active. Speaking of Jack Kraven, the WeWA received a note saying Kraven will be taking a leave of abscene. That's right, the oldest rostered athlete has been retired and it this reporters pleasure to say, Jack Kraven will be missed my many of the staff here at Lock-N-Load. Well enough of who isn't here, lets talk about who is here! In his first ever live television interview, I'm going to interview The Pro!
(Panning out to a double wide and sitting right at ringside is radio personality The Pro. Dress in a 3/4 black leather jacket with some tight black leather jeans, The Pro tugs on his flower patterned butterfly collar. His shirt is undone midway past his navel, and with his fro picked out to the max, The Pro flashes a huge smile.)
Mike Hunt: Hello Pro, what brings you ringside for this Pay-Per-View spectacular?
The Pro: "W".. "e".. "W".. [crowd joins in]
The Pro & Crowd: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
The Pro: Ha, Ha, HA!!! That's right baby! It's me, the golden voice of the WeWA come at you Live and on TV! Michael, did you know your name was a dirty little phrase?
Mike Hunt: I have many High School horror stories about that, can we please move on?
The Pro: Sure we can move on. Just like we are going to move onto a new World Heavyweight Champion tonight! That's right, The Pro is predicting before this night is over, Snake Eyes will lose is title, and oh good lordy, Eddie Outlaw will forfill the prophecy I made over one month ago! Snake Eyes, you suck!
(The very pro Snake Eyes crowd beings to boo and The Pro takes offense.)
Mike Hunt: The fans don't seem to agree with you Pro? Why all the animosity towards Snake Eyes?
The Pro: First of all, screw these desert lizards in Arizona. Did you know The Pro couldn't even find a Starbucks in this one horse town? I didn't even see any disco's! Now The Pro needs dance and perform for the ladies and if I can do a gig on light up dance floor, how the hell am I supposed to get laid?
Mike Hunt: Pro, what about the question?
The Pro: I'll tell you about the question, Snake Eyes came out here and started call me out, he stuck his thumb up my ass and when I asked him to pull it the hell out, because The Pro don't go that way, he took offense. Which brings me to this very gracious present I have for Snake tonight.
(Reaching behind the guardrail, The Pro pulls out a gold framed record from the Pointer Sisters. The song is "I'm so excited" and by the look on The Pro's face, so is he!)
Mike Hunt: Please don't tell me you plan on getting in on the Heavyweight title match. It's a Hell in Cell!
The Pro: This is just incase that jackoff or his two cent whore Roxanne try and hurt The Pro. That's right, Snakeass! I got myself some PRO-tection!
Mike Hunt: Well Pro, that's all the time we have tonight for you, anything you would like to say before we turn it over to Bytchoff and Ross?
The Pro: Yes there is! As god is my witness, and the devil is my judge, if you don't tune into my show each and every week. By god, I'll come to your house, lay one on your old lady, tune up the dial, and brrrreak, your, leeeeeeeg!
Mike Hunt: Thank you, lets go to Eric Bytchoff for this evenings run down.