| 'Round Here From "August and Everything After" Step out the front door Like a ghost into a fog Where no one notices the contrast of white on white And in between the moon and you Angels get a better veiw Of the crumbling difference Between wrong and right Well I walk in the air Between the rain Through myself and back again Where? I don't know But Maria says she's dying Through the door I hear her crying Why? I don't know. CHORUS: 'Round here We always stand up straight Round here Something radiates Maria came fron Nashville With a suitcase in her hand Sayin' she'd like to meet a boy Who looks like Elvis And she walks along the edge Of where the ocean meets the sand Just like she's walking on a wire In a circus She parks her car outside my house And takes her clothes off Says she's close to understanding Jesus. And she knows she more than just a little Misunderstood She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous CHORUS: But 'round here We're carving out our names 'Round here We all look the same 'Round here we talk just lions But then we sacrifice like lambs 'Round here she's slipping through my hands. Sleeping children better run like the wind Out, out, out of the lightning dream Mama's little baby better get herself Out of the lightning She says, "It's only in my head" She says, "I know, it's only in my head" But the girl on the car in the parking lot Says, "Man you should take a shot. Can't you see my wall are crumbling?" And she looks up at the building, Says she's thinking of jumping. She says she's tired of life. She must be tired of something CHORUS 'Round here She's always on my mind 'Round here I got lots of time 'Round here We're never sent to bed early And nobody makes us wait 'Round here we stay up Very, very, very late I can't see nothing, nothing 'Round here Will you catch me if I was falling? Will you catch me if I was falling? Will you catch me 'cause I'm falling down on you. I said I'm under the gun Around here And I can't see nothing- nothing Around here |
| This song to me was always beautiful. I never could really relate to it, but it spoke volumes to me. It's about people wanting things that they really don't know why. They want and want and, in this case, fail. And the failure is too much to take, and you feel like your at the end of your rope. But there's someone who can save you if they just 'take a shot'. AD has said that it's about a guy who leaves this woman behind, but the more he does this, the more he feels like he's leaving a part of himself behind. A beautiful meaning for a beautiful song, but I never could really relate to it. Until that is, I met "Miss X". It wouldn't be right of me to put her name here, but she's responsible for teaching me a very valuable lesson about life. She taught me how falling in love can as destructive as it can be beautiful. I met her just before Christmas one year, and by the end of January we were spending every waking moment together. We were in love, too much too fast, but in love. And things were good until about May. We went out one night for "Cinco De Mayo" and I happened to see another ex-girlfriend that I didn't hate. I said hi to her and put my arm around her to give her a half-assed hug, said the whole 'how are ya' bit and then walked outside to catch back up with "Miss X" and her friends. That's when the shitstorm started because apparently since I didn't brush by the other ex, that meant I still loved her. This started a full-volume shouting match in the middle of downtown Rochester that included her breaking up with me, her slapping me across the face, then when I tried to usher her to my car so I could take her home and be done with her, she screamed bloody murder like I was attacking her. She screamed so loud, a stranger came out on her front porch and asked if she was OK, to which she replied, "NO!". So I left her there, and went to find a friend to go with me to her apartment to get my things. Well, by the time we got over there, she had already had her friend drop her off and was waiting for me. This is where it got REALLY ugly. She began to beg and plead for me to forgive her, but I wouldn't- no, I couldn't- put myself back in that situation. So she proceeded to lock herself in the bathroom and pop pills like M&M's. Now, for the record, the pills were only Claritin. But I didn't know if you could overdose on those or not. Thank god that her tantrum, which consisted of her throwing anything not nailed to the floor around her apartment, prompted her neighbors to call the police. They came and took her to the hospital where she stayed overnight. I haven't spoke to her since. But as I left the scene that night, I lost it. I just started to bawl because I could not understand how someone could be that devastated by something I did. Those moments where I was yelling at her through her bedroom door trying to make sure she was still awake, not knowing what was going to happen next, stay with me everyday. Thinking about everything later, she was so caught up in what she should have accomplished by age 26 that when it looked like I was about to leave and set her 'schedule' back even farther, she was willing to do anything to keep me there. She always was underpaid, disappointed in herself, and generally insecure. So for someone to honestly tell her "I love you" became central to her existence. It could have been anyone, it just happened to be me. So now I'm a lot more guarded about when and how I use that phrase. And I think, if I could ever get like that, who would catch me? I was getting close to that state of mind. Not suicidal, but focusing on what I didn't have rather than what I have. You can't see anything around you except for the empty places in your life. And that's a total disservice to everyone good that IS around you. |