A Murder of One
From "August and Everything After"

Blue morning, blue morning
Wrapped in strands of fist and bone
Curiosity, Kitten, doesn't mean
You're on your own.
You can look outside your window
He doesn't have to know
We can talk a while, baby
We can take it nice and slow

Chorus:
All your life is such a shame, shame, shame
All your love is just a dream, dream, dream

Are you happy where you're sleeping?
Does he keep you safe and warm?
Does he tell you when you're sorry?
Does he tell you when you're wrong?
I've been watching you for hours
It's been years since we were born
We were perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone

CHORUS

I dreamt I saw you walking
Up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky
As you stood there counting crows
One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for girls and
Four for boys
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret never to be told

There's a bird that nests inside you
Sleeping underneath your skin
When you open up your wings to speak
I wish you'd let me in

CHORUS

Open up your eyes
You can see the flames, flames, flames
Of your wasted life
You should be ashamed, ashamed, ashamed

You don't wanna waste your life, baby.

I walk along these hillsides
In the summer 'neath the sunshine
I am feathered by the moonlight
Falling down on me

Change, change, change
    This might be a little difficult.  This song is so intense when I listen to it that I have to constantly divert my attention from who the song reminds me of.
     AD describes his feelings on this song as being about how life ends up so much emptier than we had hoped.  We begin as children with infinite possibilites and we end up in these empty or brutal or just plain meaningless relationships.  Duritz also feels that there is a need for a change to be made at one point in everyone's life where you look for healthy relationships.  If you don't, you'll end up "as the rhyme goes: a murder of one, for sorrow."
     My take on this song is a little more involved.  The last two years of my college education, I spent at SUNY Cortland in central New York.  While I was there I made the acquaintance of someone I grew very close to.  For most of the time I was at school, I was in a very serious relationship.
     By the time I was supposed to walk in the graduation ceremony, one thing was becoming clear: I was falling in love with this extremely dear friend.
     By July, the relationship had dissolved and I received a letter that I took to mean that my emotions were echoed.  The one problem, was that she had a steady relationship that had not dissolved.  We had numerous heart-to-heart talks and she knew she wasn't happy.  But for the life of me I could not get her to make the changes she admitted she had to make.
     Time after time he would act like an ass and she'd come looking for or calling me to talk/ drink.  She said she loved me and I believed her.  However, I lived 3 hours away now.  And now I barely talk to her.  Wasn't meant to be?  Maybe.  But even now, when I think about her I smile and think "if only...".
     That last semester, after I had received the letter (I went back for one semester after the ceremony), we would go out to happy hour or bar hopping and every night I'd come home alone while she went home with her problem, and I would play this song as loud as I could.  And in my drunken state I could feel the want, the rage, and the frustration of being the only one who really believes.
     And on my last weekend I received this card that spelled out exactly how she felt for me.  I wrote her a song, played it for her, and shared an all too brief moment.  And this song, in all its beauty, reminds of the girl I used to love but barely kissed.
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