Welcome to Uncle Touché's (it's french, you pervert). Come on in and check out our huge collection of junk. We love our junk, and if'n you want some of it you are going to have to go get it for yourself.

No, its true, you have to do something for yourself. Heck no, we aint gonna go get it for you. What is you, some lazy city boy? Just think of it like a treasure hunt... our trash, your treasure. Put in what you need and lets get started.

Well, I'm guess'n if you are real lazy, then we could work something out - for a little sumpin-sumpin extra... Just hit that there "Order A Part" button and we'll see what we can do.

HOURS OF OPERATION

When We Open:

Whenever we want to show up.

When We Close:
Whenever we feel like it.

ADMISSION COST

Don't be pretendin' you don't know how it works. You gotta pay to play.

$5 dollars up front, then we'll see.

CAUTION

So, lets be honest, its a freakin' salvage yard. That means there is a lot of rusty stuff laying around.

Make sure you're up to date on your Tetanus shots before you come here.

WARNING

Same thing as the Caution side. What happens to you here is at your own risk. Not our problem.

Not responsible for death, dismemberment, decapitation, dog bites, flea infestation, sexually transmitted deseases, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Burning and Itching sensations or stolen vehicles.

Just Sayin'.