Dinner at Lady Evadne Grainger's

By Robert James DeBurgh (Poet)

Through the open window I see the gentle Bosphorus flow
Through the Turkish night of stars o'er the wood.
M'Lady speaks, "You did enjoy, I trow?"
"The mutton roast was very good"
"Oh. Thank you" the Lady Evadne says,
"But there are many different ways the Turks have for preparing food"
"The sauce was sweet" said I, "And Oh those lovely spotted mushrooms
As were in it. Wonderful, Dear Lady EVADNZERMUGROFFEL!!!
Pffff! Pffff! Pffff!
And why are you standing upside-down with your head squeezed
Into the neck of the wine decanter? Tell me that???
LADY E REPLIES- "Whaffshnavvellgraffengzoz!"
I hear no more for I am floatingintheair outside the window
With a nice high-pitched whistling in my brain. Yummy!!
Inside, Sir George Luminous-Stegasaurus is eating the
Honourable Miss IT IT IT IT IT IT. Oops!
Now the potatoes have started to shave (Makes sense)
But here's something hairy - Lady Evadne's turned into the Virgin Mary!!
I suspect something's not right here... what was that!!?
SZKNAFFAKK!!

"You liked the sauce then, Robert, dear?"
"The entire evening's been just fine!"
"Some more wine?"

Stamboul, 1900

NOTES ON PROVENANCE:
This Poetic Gem was discovered in an old Notebook, formerly the property of the late Timothy Leary, which only goes towards proving something, doesn't it.

SUB-NOTE:
Amanita Muscaria is not the name of a Turkish belly-dancer.