~Silly thought~
i have decided that boys are confusing...they were born to be confusing..and girls were born to be confused..but it's probably the other way around to a guy rite? hehehe... suuure, i have also decided that boys are bad.. and there are two types of bad boys 1) the plaayyaaa and 2) the wannabe plaayyya...these boys think they're cool..all that... "got game" and some become soo bad that they deviate from one of these types and become evil boys...i mean bad...evil..Satanic....and if ur male and u dont fit into one of these categories...then maybe u werent born a boy! =o!
~~if i had one wish..i would wish for more time...u could do soooo much with more time..valuable time..time with ur family..friends..school..time to stay a kid..time to study..time to sleep...time to play..time to learn about myself..others..the world..time to experience life... and time to live life relaxed and happy...TIME cannot be wasted...but yet it is... i always feel like everything is rushing by me...and for some reason..im always rushing to places..i have to get to school as fast as i can...and i almost run to all of my classes..it's like a weird feeling that i have to get somewhere..and i gotta do it fast..and so i race against TIME...WHO is my enemy... and there's really no point..there's no point to most things... wut rush am i in?? i dont kno at all...i just kno it's going by all soooo fast..and i need it to slow down.. rite now i just want to breathe...take a deeep breath...i want to spend time with my family..my real friends...and make the best of wut time i have left...here...
~~ loooks...to alot of ppl..personality matters more than looks...but why should looks matter at all?..i really believe the whole world is shallow because we do care about wut we look like..everyone... with few..rare exceptions...is shallow in some way whether they admit it or not.. so why do we care?? why do we care if our clothes match? or wut our hair looks like?? or if we're goin to look stupid in front of other people??...
we're all sooo shallooww..there's no way of escaping it...that's the way things are... but i can't blame society for my own shallowness.....
sometimes i wonder if i could just shave my head...and prove to myself that i am not wut i am accusing the world to be..but i cant..cuz i am shallow..it's my hair.. and i just wouldnt be able to do it...and if i did shave it all off..would u honestly still talk to me the same?? would u not wonder why i did it?? and think to urself that i shouldnt have done it cuz it LOOKED better before?? uggh..i wish i had the guts to do it...be bald...sound extreme?? WHY does it?? there is no good answer to that question cuz it shouldnt be extreme at all..it's just hair.....
omg...everywhere i look ppl are tryin to hook up with each other!..it's crazy...ppl go to church retreats or camps...u kno.. to grow more spiritual with Christ or wutever?...when they are really searching for that one girl or guy to "hook up" with..that they think is soooo cute there (looks again!)..so that when they go there (defeating the purpose of the retreat/camp)..it's like every member of the opposite sex is like boyfriend/girlfriend material, and of course..looks count to these ppl....they are all dress'n to impress ('n?).. .but anyways!..wut i was tryin to say is that ppl shouldnt look go around searching for love..wut's the rush? get to kno ppl..appreciate them for who they are...and then maybe something will come out of that...later...but other then that.. focus on church...it's not a social gathering..represent ur religion foos!
did u ever notice how we take everything for granted...even the little things that are pointless and dont matter? we complain about our parents..school..how things dont go the way we want.. cuz we have everything and we dont realize it...
a few weeks ago there was this deaf man walking door to door in the cold, begging for money, and i wondered was his name was...wut it was like to be him..to be grown up and to live day to day dependant upon others who might reject him..cuz rejection is unendurable... i wondered how he could keep living while having the feeling that he had the potential to be somebody else..somewhere else...and then wut really affected me was how lonely he must be, assuming that he has no family..no friends..he only has the judgement of strangers who will either give from their hearts..or close their doors without giving him a chance...that is the only love he has..the sympathy of other people,...and i wonder how much it must hurt to go to each house asking for money..to see their family inside..they feel sorry for him..he puts himself into their shoes...and sees the love that they share, the bliss...he has none...they have it all
but yet we complain and whine about lil things that dont matter...how things arent good enough..we complain about how parents dont let us do certain things...cuz they love us..how much hw we get at school..how "stressed" we are..how life is just "ok",..we complain about how our food isnt good enough...how we're "broke"..how cold it is outside...how lonely and misunderstood we feel...while not realizing that we have everything...
the homeless man has nothing... he is the one that is misunderstood by society..the one that is truly lonely..and lives life day to day to the extremes of our "problems", he would give anything to be in our position and to have wut we have...
mystery man...wandering in the real world, u kno much more than i...u see the world thru different eyes..and u possess some strength that i dont understand...that keeps u going and gives u a will to survive....is it hope??? i think it is...and so i admire u..and i wish i could see wut u see...and feel wut u feel..u truly inspire me