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Others' Assessment of Myself
Here I present the opinions of others -- nonpsychiatrists -- about the two of us. Let me begin with a letter of my eldest son, Gligor, written before my hospitalization. It reads:
My dear papa! Oh my dear papa, how I love you! My dear father, you have done everything you could for me, my brothers and my mother. Papa, I promise that when I grow up I'll pay you back for everything you've done for me. Now that I have a chance to tell you this and to thank you I'm doing it. Papa, now you see why I say MY DEAR PAPA (capitalised by Gligor). |
Your son Gligor176 |
Dear Papa, I know that you love me, and I love you very much as well. What could I say that you don't already know? It is so nice when your smile lights up the whole house! I feel strong, I feel like a king when I walk beside you. |
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Your son, Slobodan |
When you sent me your letter, I felt very proud. I am very happy, since you're finally out of the hospital. Papa, don't forget that you're the world's greatest father and that I love you very much. Many, many kisses. |
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Your son Gligor |
Dear Papa, we learned from Dr. Juretic's letter that you're out of the hospital, and we received your letter, also. Your letter was my best birthday present. Your letter moved me so much that I cried, because I was overjoyed to learn the good news that you're out of the hospital. I was certain that you would write me. You can be sure that I'll come to see you during my vacation ... Finally, love and thousands and thousands of kisses. |
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Your son Slobodan177 |
A "letter" from my third boy:
Papa, since I just started school, l just write a little bit. All my love and kisses from the bottom of my heart, |
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Your son, Alexander. |
Even after my hospitalization, despite living far apart, we had lots of fun whenever we met, until I told them that I discovered that their youngest brother was not my son.
My sons' present attitude is my biggest puzzle. Before my internment they were living in abundance and happiness, though the mother was like a rifle ready to blow up any time -- to fight with me or them. I was the children's idol. Even after my internment they were very happy to see me. I thought they would never forget what I did for them. I was confident they would raise their problem and their father's problem when they became older. Especially now, when the two of them are in a position to raise the question of whether their father was or still is mentally sick. It is more their question than mine. Their indifference can only be explained by the Stockholm Syndrome, which is developing in situations where the victims feel paradoxical feelings towards their oppressors-captors. The oppressed are identified with the oppressors, with whom they are sympathizing and collaborating.
During my visits the children complained of their mother's harshness. She would scream and beat them for everything and anything. During her testimony she admitted in court that she "spanked, from time to time", the children. In my absence, I believe, her terrorizing conduct, sustained by her friends, contributed to turning the children against me.
I have written that the psychiatrists never contacted the children. Why not? Because I am sure that, if the children had been asked at the time of my internment, what they thought of their parents, they would have replied that they liked "the world's greatest father" a great deal more than their mother. Why? Because their mother had been as cruel to them as she had been to their father. Could you imagine children loving a "schizoparanoid" and detestable father more than a good mother?
The psychiatrists failed to do their duty. Moreover, by helping a sickly woman in her diabolic artifice, they chose to destroy the happy childhood of three innocent boys. The children were happy, for in spite of everything they felt "strong and like kings" beside their father!
When they were very young, I did not want to upset them. But their mother succeeded to stir them up against me. It seems they have reconciled to having a father labelled mentally sick. But now they are grown up and able to read and understand these lines. I hope they will wake up and find out the truth and will carry out their father's greatest desire to spit at anybody who contributed to their and their father's tragedy!
Read this extract from a letter written to me by my ex-wife before my hospitalization:
"I know that you were the victim of the family and that you always carried the biggest load."
An extract from a letter written to my ex-wife by her mother:
"You should listen to and respect your husband, because he is a good and honest man."
In another letter she writes to her daughter178:
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"I received the letter from Risto, along the pictures and the graduation papers (of the children). I was thrilled to see the high grades... You were wise to live far away where your eyes can not see what is happening (in Yugoslavia). How are you doing? I'm sure you are very tired! I hope the three children are fine. Have the children help you? How is life with Risto? Be happy with him, don't fight. Since you are far away he is your mother, brother, and husband. In other words you have him alone. This is why I urge you not to take offence. He is not bad. But as for you, I think you are keeping secrets from me. Whatever you write I don't believe you! These few words I write you, and I'm eagerly awaiting your letter. Kiss the children and Risto for me." |
This is an extract from a letter written by my ex-wife's uncle and aunt before my hospitalization:
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"Kula (my ex-wife's nickname) should contain her nervousness and respect Risto, for it's he who was always the victim of the family and always did his best for the family." |
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"Dear Risto, we are very sorry and moved, having learned that you are in a psychiatric hospital. Since both of us know you very well, we put the blame on Kula, and we are on your side. We will never believe that you are ill. We are going to do all we can to make Kula see reason, so that you can get out of the hospital as soon as possible ..." |
The letters which I had received before my internment were kept in Hamilton. Those which I received during my internment were in my possession. All of them contradict my ex-wife's presentation of me as a shameless and irresponsible family man. I presume that she thought that I might use the letters to rebut her accusations. Thus, her friend, Mr. Lyonnais, took it on himself to go to seize my belongings in Hamilton179 without my authorization. Likewise, my "friend" Dr. Juretic personally searched my belongings while I was interned.
After my hospitalization I received a letter from my ex-wife's uncle and aunt in which they wrote:
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"Our dear Risto, we are sorry about everything that happened to you, but don't forget that we're on your side with all our heart. We love and respect you as before. We are positive that you were the victim of dishonest people. We feel sorry for the children, since they were deprived of a good and honest father. They will suffer a great deal, because of your absence. If you return to Yugoslavia, come to our place where you will be welcome ..." |
My ex-wife's uncle and aunt continue to write me letters similar to the one above.
Other letters were written by persons very close to my ex-wife (mother, aunts, uncle). Ultimately we have to accept them as the most objective people involved. The following letter speaks particularly clearly about our (my ex-wife's and mine) personalities:
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Dear Risto, I am really happy to have a letter from you. Thank you very much, because you trust me and opened your heart to me. Maybe she is a member of my family, but now after all there she is nothing to me. I am ashamed of her and I want once more to tell you how much I appreciate and believe you. I realize how much you suffered and in what trouble she brought you. You have a strong character in order to face all these evil people and even her. I wonder why she did all these! She was healthy, wealthy and she had everything from you, your love the greatest thing for a woman, and most of all children, beautiful and clever as you say. And all this happiness she threw them away to do what? Nothing. Only to interfere together with evil and dishonest people to become a common woman ridiculous in all world. Now I am sure she is not well in mind and except her bad character she is evil in heart because in order to be grateful to you she become your enemy and brought you to lunatic asylum. Dear Risto. I read your letter and felt very unhappy. My heart is full of sorrows. I think of you and I pray to God to give you strength and courage to overcome these troubles and get rid of this woman who is not a human being but a wild beast. Place your hopes to God's hands and be sure he will help you. He helps those who believe to him, those who are right and not evil. He is full of mercy. I respect you and the one thing I want from you is to consider me as a member of your family. Nafsika |
My landlords in Hamilton wrote:
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We declare that we know Dr. Risto Delev since 1971. Mrs. Kekys attended the English language course since September 12, 1971, where she got acquainted with him as a quiet, honourable and good man. For this reason, we received Dr. Delev at the end of September 1971 in our home, and he lived with us until his hospitalization on November 12, 1971. Immediately after his hospitalization in Quebec, Dr. Delev communicated with us through mail and telephone regarding his accommodation and belongings. We refused to hand over his belongings to a J.-M. Lyonnais180 from Quebec, as we couldn't believe that Dr. Delev was mentally ill. After his discharge from the mental hospital, on May 2, 1972, we again received Dr. Delev in our home, and he lived with us until the end of August 1972, when he found a job in Toronto where he moved. Even after his departure, Dr. Delev visits us as a friend, and as such he is always welcome in our home. We have only the best possible opinion about him. Until now, we have never been asked by anybody about him or about any particulars while he was living with us."
March 21, 1974, Hamilton
Mr. Victor Kekys Mrs.Danuta Kekys |
My friends Mr. and Mrs. Andre Bulicki write:
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We have known Dr. Delev as a tenant and our closest friend for three and a half years. Although we know that he was hospitalized as a "mental patient", we know him to be a wise, honest, and respectable man. Everyone we know respects him as we do. Furthermore, when we're not in, we entrust him with the house and the children. There is notably a great deal of love between Dr. Delev and our little Susan, and sometimes we're not sure whom Susan loves more: Dr. Delev or us, the parents. The children miss him very much. We sympathize deeply with Dr. Delev in his tragedy. All we desire with all our heart is that he may be reunited with his children, that the injustice he has suffered be corrected and that he remain our friend forever.
02-01-1974
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The late Mr. John Grudeff, Q.C., a retired judge and part-time lawyer in Toronto at the time, gave me the following reference for Citizenship Court:
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I have known my friend Dr. Risto Delev for one year, and I'm taking the liberty of recommending him to governmental authorities for the acceptance of his application for Canadian citizenship. I know Dr. Delev as an honest, courageous, and active man. I take it upon myself: he deserves all possible consideration. 06-01-1974 |
An extract from the reference of Mrs. E. Hughson, director of nurses of Highbourne Lodge, 420 The East Mall, Etobicoke, Ont.:
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"Have had Risto Delev working as orderly for several months now, and he is a good worker. He is always on time, and though he has a language problem, he is trying to improve this. The patients seem very happy to have Risto looking after them." |
Reference of Rev. Claude LaVergne:
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SEMINAIRE SAINT-AUGUSTIN Oct. 4, 1972
Sr Cecile Dubé, Director-General Dear Reverend Mother,
Doctor Risto Delev has applied to your institution as a physician in internal medicine: I take it upon myself to recommend him to you.
I have known Dr. Delev for more than three years. I can assure you of his high standards of conduct and of morals. I am obviously incapable of commenting on his medical competence, but I have reason to believe, with proof, that in the exercise of his profession in Yugoslavia he enjoyed the respect of his fellow citizens.
Mr. Delev has been in this country for several years now. He has undergone, and is still undergoing, with great courage, severe tests. He deserves to be helped! You are in a position to do so. That is why I have dared to contact you with the strong hope that you won't disappoint me.
Very truly yours in Our Lord
Claude LaVergne, c.ss.r. |
Another reference of Rev. Claude LaVergne:
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Citizenship Court181
Jan. 2, 1974 Re: Citizenship request by Mr. Risto Delev
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
It is my pleasure to be a witness in favour of Mr. Delev. I have known Mr. Delev for four years now. I have had numerous contacts with him during this time. I think I am in a position to affirm that Mr. Delev, of Yugoslavian origin, deserves that his request for Canadian citizenship be given the utmost consideration. Mr. Delev is a physician and, although he has not obtained the right to practice, due to his circumstances, he has always been able to earn an honest living, ever since he came to Canada.
Moreover, Mr. Delev is a man with an extremely high standard of honesty. I know him to be very moral. The granting of citizenship to this immigrant can only honour the country that does so.
Claude LaVergne, c.ss.r. |
Rev. LaVergne was my most frequent visitor during the time I was coerced to stay at St. Michel Archange Hospital. My "friend" Dr. Juretic forbade any visit, including LaVergne's. Rev. LaVergne had helped me a great deal morally and materially. In order to get me out of the mental hospital, he unsuccessfully tried to intervene on my behalf through the Ombudsman. Further, since I was not able to continue to pay the private scholarships for my sons Gligor and Slobodan, he took it on himself to pay this during my internment and for a few months after. He had never been approached or asked about my behaviour or personality during my hospitalization.
A letter from Dr. Nikola Pamukoff, general practitioner from Hamilton, to the Hotel-Dieu Hospital, Tracadie, N.B.:
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Sept. 28, 1972 Reverend Sister,
It is with pleasure that I am replying to your letter of September 15th concerning Dr. R. Delev.
I recognize Dr. Delev as being a gentleman; serious, calm, a little shy, very attentive towards others, and honest.
He puts a great deal of perseverance and will into his work, and he knows his human and professional duties well. I admire his self-confidence and his pride! In spite of his present financial difficulties, he is uneasy about and rejects any material aid he is offered ... even from the over-burdened institution of Welfare, and he prefers to work temporarily in construction or something similar while studying English. (He speaks French already.)
He continues to display great courage and optimism regarding the future. His long medical experience in his native country, Yugoslavia, has made him very competent with regard to the majority of difficult cases. I always admire his politeness and his natural manner with those around him.
Dr. Delev left his native country for one reason: He wanted to work uniquely as a doctor, without having to be involved in the political affairs of the country! (A situation that is quite difficult to understand here.)
Finally, I would like to say that I'm worried about him with regard to his first years in this new environment ... he always thinks that everyone is as good as he is, and therefore he will certainly suffer many disappointments.
I hope that your hospital and your friendship will help his excellent aptitudes to unfold entirely, and I am sure that your kindness and attention towards him will be rewarded by his sincere gratitude and diligent work.
Dr. Delev is the type of doctor better suited to work in and remain attached to a hospital than a private practice.
With my best regards,
Dr. N. Pamukoff |
Dr. N. Pamukoff was the first doctor I met immediately after my internment. He supported me in looking for a psychiatrist to examine my case in order to clear my name.
In my opinion, the preceding reference and letters are most revealing about my mental state and my human qualifications.
However, I kept, in Hamilton, a very peculiar letter written four months before my internment by Dr. Juretic, my last and most brutal "attending" psychiatrist. He wrote to Dr. Dionne, the instigator of my internment, as follows:
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Montreal, July 12, 1971
Dr. Louis Dionne Re: Delev, Dr. Risto
Dear Doctor:
You have agreeably surprised me, and I see that your interest in Dr. Risto Delev is full of humanism and profound medical sentiment. I am in the process of doing everything possible for our colleague and my friend, and I am certain that I will be able to find a satisfactory conclusion. I am enclosing a letter which we received from Dr. Berchmans Rioux, North Dakota. Dr. Delev should contact me immediately, even by telephone. I know that he is expecting a reply from the Psychiatric Services of New Brunswick.
I will keep you informed as to the progress of our efforts, but I'm not giving up hope at all, for I think that Dr. Delev is an honest and brilliant physician, and he deserves all our consideration (emphasis added).
Yours very truly,
Chief of Service |
This letter is the strangest "reference". Dr. Dionne was the one who had contrived my internment and the "emergency" transportation to the mental hospital and, during my stay, as my "closest neighbour" -- which he had never been, imputed the most sordid insinuations against me. Actually he was the one who was carefully monitoring my internment and giving orders about how long I should stay and be tortured in the hospitals.
My other "friend", Dr. Juretic, turned out to be the most cruel inquisitor. After the internment, in his testimony, he declared: "No, I don't know Dr. Delev at all ..." Moreover, he put forward the same odious insinuations as did Dr. Dionne about me. There is no doubt that they were both taught by the same professor of ethics.
It is incredible how people can become vile when so little is required to preserve their human face. This man prior to my hospitalization did so much for me, but he failed so badly when he was in position to do what any human being should do.
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