November 15 - 03 The part that stands out the most - my mother, father and myself were going to take the Harley for a ride. They made me push it up the hill while they walked in front of me, talking but low enough that I couldn’t hear. I had such a hard time pushing it - the front wheel kept turning in odd directions and I was so afraid that I was going to drop it and then my dad would be so upset with me. The Harley kind of disappears as I notice a huge tractor trailer coming up the road. My dad moves to one side while my mother and I go to the other. I go farther away from the road while my mom stands at the edge. I scream at her to move but she doesn’t understand. I run over and pull her back as the truck goes zooming by. “Oh.” She says. Yeah, no big deal. That was one part. So much symbolism. Michelle was talking on the phone to the Spanish teacher (that’s two dreams now with senorita) but when she went to give me the phone, the teacher did not want to talk to me. We were outside at some camp and Michelle was getting in trouble for something she didn’t do (because Erin lied and said she did it, whatever “it” was). She never got in trouble for it and that’s really all I can remember. Kind of odd. I should probably start interpreting these things. Okay. I’ll just do the first part. It’s obvious that the weight of my parents relationship is on my shoulders - my dad caring more about himself (the Harley) than my mother or I. I am struggling to push it uphill as it turns in different directions, like my parent’s relationship. One minute everything is wonderful and then the next they are getting a divorce. Me caring about dropping my dad’s prize possession symbolizes how much I have been thinking about him lately, which is an awful lot. I have been very worried for no real reason. I look down the road to see a huge truck. Yay, a problem is ahead - one that will obviously have much impact on our lives. My dad runs to one side of the road while my mother and I go to the other. I figure there will be a big problem, my parents will fight, my mom will declare me “on her side” and cry to me about everything. I save her life when the trucks come by but all I get is a simple “Oh.”. I don’t think that has to do with her under appreciating me but more so her not understanding me. She didn’t know why I wanted her to move but eventually I pushed her (literal/figurative) to do it anyway. Maybe I am thinking too much of myself. Do I really control her decisions that much? ------------------------- November 13 - 03 I was in school again except it looked more like when I was in 6th grade. I had no idea what was going on but I spoke fluent Spanish with the teacher and everyone else just kind of stared at me. I went home and walked down the road where I saw Evan. He asked me if I wanted to ride bikes with him everyday after school because he is always down here. “I guess.” “Your dad would mind if I drove a pressure pusher, would he?” - What the hell is a pressure pusher? - “Uhm. I don’t know. Maybe.” I continued walking down the road, which wasn’t very exciting, not much else happened. I do however remember walking back up the road. The colors of the fields were golden and it was getting harder for me to keep up with myself because I was starting to jog uphill. A thought to add, I guess. While I was in school in my dream, the teacher started numbering us off to go sit in some other place. I had no idea what my number was so I just got up and sat anywhere. Michelle came over and I guess I was in her seat but she didn’t say anything, the look on her face showed that she thought she was in the wrong place. Me sitting there screwed up the entire arrangement. ------------------------- November 12 - 03 I was in school and the substitute teacher (who looked an awful lot like one of my previous nurse’s at the hospital) kept making sure I had a book to read. The back cover of my book was folded over and its pages were old a yellow. It looked like “The Colossus”. That is the second time that book has become significant in my dreams recently. Then, I was in what I thought was Ashley’s basement. Kristin and Ashley were both there. I kept debating on whether to use my light to light the room or not; Ashley insisted on using her own; Kristin was indifferent to the situation. After that argument, we found out that some kid let Becca’s horse out and it “grew wings and fucking fly away“. We’d go searching for it and end up by a group of people near a fire who told us to keep warm, that we could stay there as long as we like. All of those people transformed into DJ, Cheri, and Andrea They were there for some time, but then they disappeared and I appeared at my locker, in school again. Erin was on my left. I was getting frustrated because she would not talk to me, just look at me, occasionally smiling as if I did not exist. The Postal Service was playing in the background. ------------------------- November 11 - 03 Yesterday whenever Cheri was over, she was telling me about how she plays her stereo loudly when she goes to sleep so that the music happens in her dreams. I thought that was neat, and although I didn’t do it I guess the thought of it was stuck in my mind. My dream was kind of bland (as most are, but I have trouble remembering the details). It started off when I wasn’t fully asleep yet, I had laid in bed for a good hour and a half before I finally drifted off. Maybe I was dreaming that I was awake, just laying there. I don’t know. It’s getting harder and harder to remember things as they actually happened. So it began, Cheri was sitting by my cd player. She had the CD I was playing earlier that day (“Give Up” Postal Service”) and was playing the song “Nothing Better”. She kept asking me, repeatedly, if this was a good song. I thought to myself “Who am I to decide that kind of thing?” but I didn’t say anything, just nodded my head. The music did sound awful nice playing in the background. I was sitting at my computer, just waiting. I had a disappointed look on my face as I stared at the screen; My mind went blank. And I woke up, thanks to my parents arguing before my mom went to work this morning. “Tell me, am I right to think that there could be nothing better than making you my wife and slowly growing old together.” Good song. That’s not the whole message of the song, but oh well, I like that part. Just once, I would like to wake up, feeling okay. ------------------------- November 8 - 03 I was in a weird room. The colors were like the cover of "The Colossus" by Sylvia Plath. I'll put a picture up sometime. Anyway. I was laying on the floor. The whole room was padded, including the ceiling which was beyond my reach. I felt the gravitational pull strengthen; I couldn't bring myself to sit up, so I just lay there, untouched by all of the sparks that began to fly past my face like speeding cars. I could feel each one as it went by, pushing air to my cheek. It seemed like I had jumped off of a building or something, I noticed my stomach turning every once in awhile, but I still wasn't going anywhere because I was being pulled to the floor. And that was it. ------------------------- November 7 -03 I forgot to fall asleep but I had a bunch of night terrors. Maybe I was asleep and I didn't realize it. I kept thinking I was getting ran over by a car except I was in a cat's body. Flash. Headlights. Impact. ------------------------- November 6 - 03 I dreamnt that I was being attacked by kamikaze poultry. Not joking. The funny thing is, after I woke up from that dream, I read some articles online. One was about a chicken who died of shock from stage fright. They don't tie together completely - but come on, how often does a chicken die of stage fright? Yes, that was the entire dream. ------------------------- Last week I had the strangest dream where everything was exactly how it seemed, where there was never any mystery of who shot John F. Kennedy. It was just a man with something to prove, slightly bored and severly confused. He steadied his rifle with his target in the center and became famous on that day in November. Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in. Again, last night I had that strange dream where everything was exactly how it seemed. No concerns about the world getting warmer - people thought that they were just being rewarded for treating others as they'd like to be treated, for obeying stop signs and curing diseases, for mailing letters with the address of the sender. Now we can swim any day in November. Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in. ["Sleeping In" - The Postal Service]

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