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Broken
by Dannie and Rinny

Jen balanced the bag of bagels and coffee in one arm as she tried to open the door to Pacey's apartment with the other. She figured with the all the drama from the night before Pacey hadn't had the chance to call her. Obviously, things with Joey and Dawson had gotten ugly from what she'd seen last night. She decided to come by bearing breakfast just in case and Joey probably needed someone to talk to now.

She shut the door behind her and walked over to the kitchen placing the bag down on the table. She sighed and glanced at the watch on her wrist and then at the Pacey's bedroom door. Oh well now was as good a time as any to wake him up, she thought. She knocked on the door. "Hey it's time to get up." The door opened slightly under the small amount of pressure and Jen pulled it open. A small choked sound escaped her lips. "Oh. My. God." She quickly slammed the door shut hoping that she had just imagined the whole thing.

Joey and Pacey were curled together in the center of the bed. The summer heat had caused them to kick the blanket down around their waists, their nakedness apperent, as was the obviousness of their activities the night before.

Jen mentally counted to ten before opening the door again. She rubbed at her forehead in disbelief unsure of what to do. She could just scream or get angry or run away crying, which really seemed like the best option if she could only just get her legs to work again. She cleared her throat sharply.

Conciousness slowly came to Pacey and he mumbled something in his sleep, nuzzling Joey's hair with his cheek, he sighed. Slowly his eyes fluttered open and he focused on Joey in his arms. He watched her chest rise and fall slowly and he smiled softly.

He looked to the night stand to see what time it was, he blinked rapidly as Jen's angry frame came into focus. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he pulled the blanket up over Joey, but his voice had gone missing.

Joey's eyes flew open at his movement and she shot up in bed swiftly. She clutched the blanket to her chest in embarrassment in front of Jen. She shrank under friend's harsh glare, it suceeded in making her feel like crap. She tried to convey apology in her eyes.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jen asked angrily, surprising herself with how strong her voice sounded.

Pacey put a hand on her shoulder, "We- I..." He tried to put together a sentance, but everything that came to mind sounded trite and insincere.

Jen threw her hands up in frustration and left the room. She forcefully brushed the tears off her cheeks and stalked right out through the front door. She needed time alone to think, to clear her head before she dealt with any of this.

"Well, that didn't go well at all." He mumbled rising from the bed. He scanned the floor for his boxers and pulled them on.

Joey raked a hand through her hair and stood up wrapping the bed sheet around her. "Oh God. This is all my fault."

"Hardly." He contradicted her.

She began gathering her clothes. "You should go after her."

"And tell her what? It wasn't what it looked like? I didn't mean to? I'm sorry?" He sighed, "Nothing I could possibly say to her would make this right. I'll just...I'll call her when she's had a chance to calm down."

She exhaled sharply and sat down at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, sitting beside her, watching her wring her hands.

"For completely ruining your relationship with Jen."

"Jo, you knew Jen and I, more specifically I, were having problems before this."

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much better. You cheated on your girlfriend with me. The woman who happened to be my only friend. This is like some bad soap opera!" She stood up. "I'm going to get dressed and go to Bessie's."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Dawson..."

Joey sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"How can you say that?" he asked.

"Well, right now, it doesn't matter. If he's there. He's there. I'm going to have to face him eventually."

"But today?"

"Well, hopefully he won't be there," she said standing up.

He sighed, "You're gonna go whether I think it's a good idea or not, aren't you?"

She nodded. "Basically."

"Call Bessie at least...find out if he's left town or not. Though I can't imagine him staying, not having been away from work for the last few days." He mumbled.

"Fine. If it'll make you feel better I'll call Bessie first."

"It would."

"Okay fine," Joey answered heading to the bathroom.

He sighed, and fell back on the bed, his hands hold over his face. His whole life had somehow turned itself upside down. How did he ever think high school was confusing?!

Joey took a deep breath and got dressed. She froze when she caught her reflection in the mirror. She looked away hurriedly and finished getting dressed. She walked into the kitchen quietly, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Pacey sat the table, staring off into space, two slices of toast were in front of him, getting cold. She gazed at the bag on the table. "Looks like Jen brought breakfast."

He jumped slightly at her appearance. "Yeah," he mumbled. "For some reason, I don't feel quite right about eating it."

She nodded her head understandingly. "I know what you mean."

"I don't really feel like eating anything, actually." He knudged the bread away from him. He finially looked her in the face. "Are you going to call Bess?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"You don't have to go back to the B & B, you know." He suggested lightly. "You can go off and be alone if you don't feel like being around... people." He spoke randomly, trying to get past the awkwardness.

She raised an eyebrow plopping herself down at the table. "I guess I can do that."

"You hungry?"

She shook her head. "Nah, not really."

Pacey rolled his eyes, "How long is this awkwardness going to last, Potter? Because I'm begining to feel really frustrated."

"Well, what am I supposed to say in a situation like this, Pacey? Thanks for the fuck? It was fun?" She took a deep breath, feeling horrible. "I just--I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

He sat back, eyes wide, "No, you...don't apologize. If that--that's how you feel..."

"Okay, no. That's not how I feel. I don't even know how I feel about this. I've never done anything like this before so forgive me if I don't know what to say...or do...or anything else. What I do know is that I feel like shit okay? I feel like crap for what I did to Jen. There's absolutely no excuse for it, especially after what I just went through with Dawson. I should have known better."

"This isn't any easier on me. Everything that I thought I knew about myself just completely disappeared last night. But the fact remains, all either of us has left is each other, and-"

"And what, an amazing amount of guilt?"

"Maybe so, but...God, Joey. I don't know what to say any more than you do! I don't want you to hurt because of something I did."

"What happened was just as much my fault."

"And I could have stopped it. I should have."

"It doesn't really matter now."

"It does." She let out an exasperated sigh and brushed a strand of brown hair behind her ear.

"Are you going to call Bessie or not?" He asked.

"I guess."

He shook his head and rose from the table. "Don't sound too sure or anything."

She made a face of annoyance and stood up. "Whatever. I'm going to go. I'll just call her from outside."

"Right," he headed down the hallway, lifting his hand in parting. "Bye Potter, I'll call you later." he yelled before shutting his bedroom door behind him.

She turned on her heal and marched out the door, slamming it loudly behind her and walked down the hall toward the stairwell. She stopped mid-step surprised to find Jen sitting there, head buried in her lap. She turned prepared to make a hasty retreat.

"There's only one way down, Jo." Jen mumbled.

Joey frowned stuffing her hands into her jeans pockets. "I'm sorry," she blurted out then winced at how pathetic it sounded.

"Not as sorry as I am," she lifted her head up, wiping at one cheek. "I really didn't expect this."

She sighed and shifted uncomfortably.

"Not from him." She sniffled, and looked up at Joey finally. "Not from you either," she said dully.

Joey gazed away embarrassed with herself. She didn't know what to say. "Why, Joey?" She stared at the other woman, piercing Joey with her gaze. "Why him? Why Pacey?"

"I don't know," Joey responded quietly. "It just happened."

"Were you that horny? Was he really that weak?"

Joey blushed, embarrassed. She felt like a world class bitch and she wished a hole would open up in the earth underneath her and swallow her whole.

"This is where you say something that makes it all better. So we can hug and make up and I can go back in there and not want to rip my boyfriend's testicles up through his nose." Jen said drearily.

She shrugged helplessly her eyes red rimmed. "There's nothing to say Jen. Nothing will make this better. I slept with Pacey and nothing I say will ever make it better or change the fact that it happened and I can expound to you the reasons for my actions but in the end it'll mean nothing because no matter what, what I did was wrong."

Jen snorted under her breath. They fell into a silence.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way," Joey offered walking past Jen. She needed to get out of there.

"I really thought he'd come after me." Jen said, despite the fact Joey was trying to leave.

Joey paused and turned back to look at her. "He didn't think you'd want him to."

"Why wouldn't I?" She asked, tears starting to brim in her eyes.

Joey felt her heart wrench and she climbed back up the stairs, sitting besides Jen. "This is going to sound unbelievably stupid after what just happened but you're right. He should have came after you. He's an ass and you can do so much better than him. You deserve better than him."

"Sure doesn't feel like it," she sighed. "What is so wrong with me, Joey?"

"Jen, there's nothing wrong with you. It's him. Men suck. Believe me, I know and so do you."

"Then why'd you sleep with him?"

Joey smiled sadly. "Because I'm an idiot."

"Explain him to me, Joey. Because for the life of me, I'm ready to go back in there and ask him for a reason to stay. And I want to so badly."

She sighed and balanced her elbows on her knees. "I don't know what to tell you Jen. I have no idea who Pacey is now for all I know I could just be another notch on his bed post. Maybe he took advantage of me last night because of what happened with Dawson, maybe he didn't. If anyone knows Pacey best lately it's you."

"You know him better than that, Joey." Jen said dully.

Joey rubbed at her forehead disappointed with herself. "If last night is anybody's fault, it's mine. I was upset over Dawson, feeling unattractive and I used Pacey to make myself feel better."

"So you seduced him."

Joey nodded and laughed bitterly. "Yes. I'm a complete bitch."

Jen shook her head, "This isn't adding up. You aren't a bitch. And he's- he doesn't cheat." She stood up. "It doesn't make sense, you guys wouldn't do this to me. I love him!"

Joey grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, sorry isn't an explanation."

Her face fell. "It's the only answer I have."

"I thought you were better than that, Joey Potter." Jen spit out, tears in her eyes. "I have been your friend all through this, and all along you were just trying to sink your claws into my boyfriend. You just knew he had a soft spot for you and you played upon it just to get laid."

Joey's mouth dropped open in shock and she stood up angrily. "That's not true!"

"Then what is true, Joey!? Tell me!"

"I wasn't planning on sleeping with Pacey. It just happened."

"Well isn't that convenient? Do you even care that he- that he loves you!?" She paused, her tears choking her, "God, do you have any idea what it's like to be second best in his heart?! To know your best friend always comes first!?"

"Jen, he doesn't love me!"

"You said so yourself, you don't know him anymore. I do. And he does, Joey. I just didn't think he loved you enough to hurt me. I thought I meant at least something to him!"

Joey threw her arms up in frustration and stomped her foot down hard. "That's it. We're clearing this up right now. I'm tired of this."

"Clear away." Jen grumbled.

She grabbed Jen's arm dragging, her back to Pacey's apartment with her. "C'mon. You and Pacey are going to fix this right now."

"No," Jen balked trying to pull her arm away from her. "I don't want to see him."

Joey remained tight lipped. "I don't know how the hell else to convince you that Pacey doesn't love me."

"You can't. Think about it Joey, would he have fucked you if he didn't?" Joey's step faltered and she dropped Jen's arm. "You know it, don't you?" She challenged, tears running down her cheeks. "He didn't fuck you, he made love to you!"

Joey moved away from her, eyes staring unseeingly at some spot on the floor. She didn't want to think about the truth to Jen's words.

"And now, you're going to throw it in his face." Jen shook her head slowly from side to side, "I gave him everything he needed. I just wasn't what he wanted. That I would be so lucky to have his love." She glared at Joey. "Run, Joey. Hide from him and Dawson and me and everyone you've ever cared about. You know you want to. You always take the easy way out. Never give a damn about who you're hurting."

Joey's eyes began to burn with unshed tears. "I have to," She whispered brokenly.

"Doesn't surprise me. You love to hurt him. Only this time he wont have anyone to pick up the pieces." She pushed past Joey and stormed down the stairs, leaving the building.

Joey dragged her hands over her face exhaustedly as she stared after Jen. She slid back against the wall in the carpeted hallway until she hit the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest. What the hell was she supposed to do now?



Later that day Pacey tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter top as he listened to the phone ring for the eighth time. The place was a Bed and Breakfast, why the hell weren't they answering their phone!? He could be a customer. His frown deepend as it wrung yet again.

Bessie sighed setting the dishrag on the counter and picked up a crying Alex from his high chair. "Oh why isn't that darn answering machine picking up?" She cradled Alex, stifling his cries and walked over to the phone. "Hello, Potter Bed and Breakfast."

"Bessie!" He sat up straighter, "Is Joey there? I kinda really need to talk to her."

"Pacey?" Bessie questioned cradling the phone on her shoulder as she shifted Alex in her arms. "Joey's not here. She left."

"Did she say when she'd be back?" He asked tiredly, the whole day was turning into a goose chase, first he hadn't been able to get a hold of Jen and now this.

"No. I think she was heading back home. I'm not sure."

"H-home?" His brow knit in confusion. "With Dawson? What do you mean, you're not sure?"

Bessie shook her head. "No, she left by herself. She packed up her things and said she was going to go away for a while to clear her head."

"She's gone?"

"Yes, she is."


The End

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