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THE INFAMOUS "SQUIDGYGATE" TRANSCRIPT

AKA "SQUIDGEYGATE" or "DIANAGATE"

The following is a transcript of a conversation between Diana, Princess of Wales, and James Gilbey, recorded December 31, 1989

The tape had been edited by the British press, which made it difficult to create a true transcript. Also, the original transcriber had made some mistakes, which differ greatly from the actual tape. Most copies available to to the public have been copies of the original, edited version. I, myself, handwrote this one, from that one. Later sources mentioned items cut out; however, I do not know for sure where these items should be placed. I DID manage to correct as many mistakes as I could find. If anyone out there has a copy of the audio tape of this conversation, I would greatly appreciate a correction, or better, to obtain a copy of the tape. Also, I'd appreciate info upon the identities--and biographies--of certain of the people mentioned. Who, for instance, is Simon Prior-Palmer? His wife, Julia Lloyd-Jordan? Jeremy___? His wife, Suzanne? Mark Davis ( or David )? His wife, Antonia? Guy Morrison? Julia __? Eddie __? Lucy Manners? Simon __? What is a "transfer list"? Or if anyone has copies of the New Year's newspaper's horoscopes referred to by Diana and Gilbey?

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December 31, 1989--New Year's Eve into the next decade. Diana was at Sandringham, for the Windsor's traditional Christmas. James Gilbey is speaking from his car mobile phone; at one point from an Oxfordshire layby. There's an indication that TWO different conversations have been spliced together, as there are TWO different times mentioned here: at one point, Diana is giving her dinner order, to be served at 8:00 PM; but at another point, the time is mentioned to be 11:05. It couldn't possibly refer to 11 AM, because tea and lunch that day was mentioned in past tense, as was church--December 31, 1989 was a Sunday. UNLESS--the 11:05 conversation was at 11 AM, and the pre- 8:00 PM, though juxtapostioned first, had occurred later--?? Perhaps it's merely a mistake by the original transcriber? Help me out, please!!! Likely it's just these frustrations that drove off all the other internet Squidgy Transcripts! Few paper transcripts are available, currently. Acknowledgement will be given, as desired.
Note: I used James Whittaker's "Diana vs. Charles: Royal Blood Feud"; and Nigel Blundess' and Susan __ "___ "; and Lady Colin Campbell's "Diana: the Princess Nobody Knows" as sources. I, myself, did further research--discovering "ultima Thule"--, and added the emphasis and punctuation to the text ( if you think it's TOO much, let me say in my defense, that the plain, bare text was TOO DULL to scroll through, as was. Just copying it was mind-boggling--especially because Gilbey used such poor grammar ).

GILBEY: "And so darling, what other lows today?"

DIANA: "So that was it, I was very bad at lunch. And I nearly started blubbing. I just felt very sad and empty, and I thought: 'Bloody hell, after all I've done for this fucking family.'"

GILBEY: "You don't need to; 'cause there are people out there--and I've said this before--who will replace the emptiness; with all sorts of things."

DIANA: "I needn't ask horoscopes, but it is just so desperate. Always being innuendo, the fact that I'm going to do something dramatic, because I can't stand the confines of this marriage."

GILBEY: "I know."

DIANA: "But I know so much more than they, because........."

GILBEY: "Well, interestingly enough, that thing in 'The People' didn't imply either one of you."

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "So I wouldn't worry about that. I think it's common knowledge, Darling, and amongst most people, that you obviously don't have........"

DIANA: "A rapport?"

GILBEY: "Yeah, I think that comes through loud and clear. Darling, just forgetting that for a moment, how is Mara?"[ Mara Berni, owner of Knightsbridge restaurant San Lorenzo ]

DIANA: "She's all right. No, she's fine. She can't wait to get back."

GILBEY: "Can't she? When's she coming back?"

DIANA: "Saturday."

GILBEY: "Is she?"

DIANA: "Mmmm hmmm."

GILBEY: "I thought it was next Saturday."

DIANA: "No, Saturday."

GILBEY: "Not quite as soon as you thought it was."

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "Is she having a nice time?"

DIANA: "Very nice."

GILBEY: "Is she?"

DIANA: "I think so, she's out of London. It gives her a bit of a rest."

GILBEY: "Yeah. Can't imagine what she does the whole time."

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "The restaurant; if you have a restaurant, it's so much a part of your life, isn't it?"

DIANA: "I know, people around you all the time."

GILBEY: "That's right. The constant bossing, and constant ordering, and constant sort of fussing. And she hasn't got that. She's probably been 'twiddling her fingers,' wondering what to do."

DIANA: "Mmm hmmm."

GILBEY: "Going to church every day."

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "Did you go to church today?"

DIANA: "Yes I did."

GILBEY: "Did you, Squidge?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Did you say lots of prayers?"

DIANA: "Of course."

GILBEY: "Did you? Kiss me,Darling."[ sound of kisses being blown into the phone ].

DIANA: [ sound of laughter, and returns kiss ]

GILBEY: "I can't tell you what a smile that has put on my face; I can't tell you. I was a sort of caged rat, and Tony said: 'You are in a terrible hurry to go.' And I said, 'Well, I've got things to do when I get there.'"
"Oh, God! [ sighs ]; I am not going to leave the phone in the car, anymore, Darling."

DIANA: "No, please don't."

GILBEY: "No, I won't. And if it rings, and someone says, 'What on Earth is your telephone ringing, for?' I will say: 'Oh, someone's got a wrong number, or something.'"

DIANA: "No; say one of your relations is not very well, and your mother is just ringing in to give you progress."

GILBEY: "All right, so I will keep it near me, quite near to me tomorrow, because Father hates phones out shooting."

DIANA: "Oh, you are out shooting, tomorrow, are you?"

GILBEY: "Yeah. And Darling, I will be back in London tomorrow night."

DIANA: "Good."

GILBEY: "All right?"

DIANA:Yes."

GILBEY: "Back on home territory, so no more awful breaks."

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "I don't know what I'd do. Do you know, Darling, I couldn't sort of face the thought of not speaking to you every moment. It fills me with real horror, you know."

DIANA: "It's purely mutual."

GILBEY: "Is it? I really hate the idea of it, you know. It makes me really sort of scared."

DIANA: "There was really something strange; I was leaning over the fence yesterday, looking into Park House, and I thought: 'Oh, what shall I do?' And I thought: 'Well, my friend would say go in and do it,' I thought: 'No, 'cause I am a bit shy,' and there were hundreds of people in there. So I thought: 'Bugger that.' So I walked round to the front door,and walked straight in." [ Park House, former Spencer home, where Diana once lived, had become a Leonard Cheshire home for the disabled. ]

GILBEY: "Did you?"

DIANA: "It was just so exciting."

GILBEY: "How long were you there for?"

DIANA: "An hour and a half."

GILBEY:"Were you?"

DIANA: "Mmm hmm. And they were so sweet. They wanted their photographs taken with me, and they kept hugging me. They were very ill, some of them. Some no legs, and all sorts of things."

GILBEY: "Amazing, Leonard Cheshire."

DIANA: "Isn't he."

GILBEY: "Yeah, amazing; quite extraordinary. He devoted himself to setting up those homes. To achieve every thing, I think it's amazing. Sort of devotion to a cause."

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "Darling, no sort of awful feelings of guilt or.....?"

DIANA: "None at all."

GILBEY: "Remorse?"

DIANA: "None. None at all."

GILBEY: "Good."

DIANA: "No, none at all; all's well."

GILBEY: "OK, then, Squidgey. I am sorry you have had low times....try, Darling, when you have these urges,-- you just try to replace them with anger, like you did on Friday night, you know?"

DIANA: "I know. But do you know what's really quite--um--whatever the word is? His grandmother is always looking at me with a strange look in her eyes.
"It's not hatred; it's sort of interest and pity mixed in one. I am not quite sure. I don't understand it..Everytime I look up, she's looking at me, then looks away, and smiles."

GILBEY: "Does she?"

DIANA: "Yes. I don't know what's going on."

GILBEY: "I should say to her one day: 'I can't ....you; you are always looking at me. What is it? What are you thinking???' You must, Darling. And interestingly enough, one of the things said to me today, is that you are going to start standing up for yourself."

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Mmm hmm. We all know that you are very capable of that, old 'Bossy Boots.'".

DIANA: "I know, yes."

GILBEY: "What have you had on, today? What have you been wearing?"

DIANA: "A pair of black jodhpur things on at the moment, and a pink polo neck."

GILBEY: "Really? Looking good?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Are you?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Dead good?"

DIANA: "I think it's good."

GILBEY: "You do?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "And what on your feet?"

DIANA: "A pair of flat black pumps."

GILBEY: "Very chic."

DIANA: "Yes [Pause in tape]. The redhead [ Fergie ] is being actually quite supportive."

GILBEY: "Is she?"

DIANA: "Yes, she has. I don't know why."

GILBEY: "Don't let the [ garbled; perhaps Don't let the old guard down? Or Don't let your guard down? ]down."

DIANA: "No, I won't. I just talk to her about that side of things."

GILBEY: "You do? That's all I worry about. I just worry that, you know, she's sort of....she's desperately trying to get back in."

DIANA: "She keeps telling me."

GILBEY: "She's trying to tag onto your [ garbled;perhaps coattails?]. She knows that your PR is so good, she's trying to tag onto that."

DIANA: "Jimmy Savile rang me up yesterday, and he said, 'I'm just ringing up, my girl, to tell you that His Nibs has asked me to come and help out the redhead, and I'm just letting you know, so that you don't find out through her or him;and I hope it's all right by you.'
And I said, 'Jimmy, you do what you like.'"

GILBEY: "What do you mean, 'help out the redhead,' Darling?"

DIANA: "Sort her out. He said, 'You can't change a lame duck, but I've got to talk to her, 'cause that's the boss's orders, and I've got to carry them out. But I want you to know that you're my number-one-girl, and I'm not....'"

GILBEY: "Oh, Darling, that's not fair, you're my number-one-girl!"

DIANA: [ speaking to her son in the background,mouth away from the phone] "Harry,it might be in my bathroom.[ louder,speaking into phone ] What did you say? You didn't say anything about babies, did you?"

GILBEY: "No."

DIANA: "No?"

GILBEY: "Why, Darling?"

DIANA: [ laughing ] "I thought you did."

GILBEY: "Did you?"

DIANA: "Yes!"

GILBEY: "Did you, Darling? You have got them on the brain."

DIANA: "Well, yeah, maybe I.....well, actually, I don't think I am going to be able to, for ages."

GILBEY: "I think you've got bored with the idea,actually."

DIANA: "I'm going to!!!!"

GILBEY: "You are, aren't you? It was a sort of hot flush you went through."

DIANA: "A very hot flush!"

GILBEY: "Darling, when he says, 'His Nibs rang [ him ] up,' does he mean your 'other-half',or 'PA'?"

DIANA: "Eh? My 'other-half'??"

GILBEY: "Your 'other-half.'" [ Prince Charles ]

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Does he get on well with him?"

DIANA: "Sort of mentor. Talk in the mouthpiece! You moved away."

GILBEY: "Sorry, Darling, I'm resting it on my chin-- on my 'chinless.' Oh [sighs], I get so sort of possessive when I see all those pictures of you!! I get so possessive, that's the least attractive aspect of me, really. I just see them, and think, 'Oh, God, if only....!!!'"

DIANA: "There aren't that many pictures, are there? There haven't been that many."

GILBEY: "Four or five today!"

DIANA: "Oh!"

GILBEY: "Various magazines. So, Darling, I...."

DIANA: "I'm always smiling, aren't I?"

GILBEY: "Always!"

DIANA: "I thought that, today."

GILBEY: "I always told you that. It's the old---what I call the 'PR package,' isn't it? As soon as you sense a camera---I think you can sense a camera at a thousand yards!"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "That smile comes on; and the charm comes out, and it stays there all the time..., and then it goes away again. But Darling, tell me, how was your tea party?"

DIANA: "It was all right.Nicholas was there, and his girlfriend, Charlotte Hambro. Do you know Charlotte?"[ Is that Nicolas Soames?? Charlotte Hambro's brother?? His sister, not his girlfriend! Perhaps this was a Freudian slip ]

GILBEY: "Yes. She was there, was she? How was that?"

DIANA: "It was all right. I went in in terrific form."

GILBEY: "Where are they staying, then? Nicholas's?"

DIANA: "They are all staying with her sister, down the other side of Fakenham."

GILBEY: "Oh, Jeremy?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Was he there?"

DIANA: "Yes. Difficult man."

GILBEY: "Very difficult man. Saw him at the ballet, the other night."

DIANA: "Oh, he's always there."

GILBEY: "Yes, always. So; quite a long drive, then?"

DIANA: "Yes. But the great thing is, I went in, and made 'a lot of noise' and came out."

GILBEY: "Were they all very chatty?"

DIANA: "Yes. Very, very, very!"

GILBEY: "Very kowtowing?"

DIANA: "Oh, yes."

GILBEY: "Were they?"

DIANA: "Yes, all that."

GILBEY: "Darling! You said all your 'yesses' and 'nos', 'pleases' and 'thank-yous'; you stared at the floor, and there were moments of silence......."

DIANA: "No,no,no!! I kept the conversation going!"

GILBEY: "Did you?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "What about?"

DIANA: "Oh, God, anything!!"

GILBEY: "What's she like? His wife looks quite tough."

DIANA: "Suzanne? I think she looks quite tough. I think she's been given quite a tough time."

GILBEY: "Is she?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "So; there with Charlotte and Willy Peel?" [ Willy Peel: an Earl in Yorkshire--Charlotte's husband ]

DIANA: "Yep."

GILBEY: "I don't know him at all."

DIANA: "She's a very sexy number.

GILBEY: "Quite. Bit 'worn-out,' I reckon."

DIANA: [ laughs ]

GILBEY: "Bit 'worn-out,' I reckon! [ Maybe this bitchiness is due to Charlotte's having been known to have wanted to marry Andrew Parker Bowles; then gave up, marrying another, when he wouldn't divorce? ] Darling; I wish we were going to be together, tonight!"

DIANA: "I know. I want you to think of me, after midnight. Are you staying up, to see the New Year in?"

GILBEY: "You don't need to encourage me to think about you. I have done nothing else for the last three months, hello?"

DIANA: "Debbie says you are going to go through a transformation, soon."

GILBEY: "I am?"

DIANA: "Yes; she says that you are going to go through bits and pieces, and I've got to help you through them. All Libra men, yeah. I said 'Great! I can do something back for him. He's done so much for me.'"

GILBEY: "Are you, Squidgey? Laugh some more! I love it when I hear you laugh. Do you know, I am happy, when you are happy?"

DIANA: "I know you are."

GILBEY: "And I cry, when you cry."

DIANA: "I know. So sweet. At the rate we are going, we won't need any dinner on Tuesday."

GILBEY: "NO, I won't need any dinner, actually; just seeing you will be all I need. I can't wait for Ken to ring! [ Ken Wharfe, Diana's bodyguard. ] And I will be thinking of you after 12 o'clock. I don't need any reasons to even think about you! Mark Davis kept saying to me yesterday, 'Of course, you haven't had a girlfriend, for ages.What's the transfer list looking like? What about that woman in Berkshire?'"

DIANA: "Oh,God."

GILBEY: "And I said, 'No, Mark, I haven't been there, for months.' He said, 'Have you got any other transferees in mind?' I said no. We then went off on a walk, and we started talking about Guy Morrison; He started telling me how extraordinarily Guy had behaved towards me, at Julia's party; and he said, 'Oh, well, the only reason he probably didn't want to speak to you, was because you had been speaking to you-know-who for a long time.' And so, I just didn't sort-of say anything. And I said, 'I suppose that is my fatal mistake.' And Mark said, 'You spend too much time with her.'; and that was that.
"Then he said, 'I wonder whom she's going to end up with?' And I said, 'What do you mean?' And he said, 'Well, she must be long overdue for an affair.'(!); And I said, 'I've no idea! I don't talk to her about it; and I've only spoken to her twice since I saw her.' And that was it! I try to kill every conversation stone-dead, now; It's much the best way.
"Darling, how did I get on to that? Oh,the transfer list! So, I said 'No, there was no list drawn up, at the moment; and even less likely there was anybody on it!
"I tell you, Darling, I couldn't. I was just thinking again, about you, going all 'jellybags', and you mustn't."

DIANA: "I haven't, for a day."

GILBEY: "You haven't?"

DIANA: "For a day."

GILBEY: "For a day? Why? Because you have no other people in the room."
"There were only three of us there, last night. Four, actually. Mark, Antonia, their nanny, and myself, and that was it; and I definitely didn't fancy the nanny, who was a 23-year-old, overweight German!"

DIANA: "Did you just get my hint about Tuesday night? I think you just missed it. Think what I said;........"

GILBEY: "No??"

DIANA: "I think you have missed it."

GILBEY: "No, you said, 'At this rate, we won't want anything to eat.'"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Yes, I know; I got there!"

DIANA: "Oh, well, you didn't exactly 'put the flag out'!"

GILBEY: "What, the 'surrender flag?'"

DIANA: "Oh.........??"

GILBEY: "Squidge, I was just going over it. I don't think I made too much reference to it."

DIANA: "Oh, bugger!!!"

GILBEY: "I don't think I made too much reference to it. Because the more you think about it, the more you worry about it."

DIANA: "All right. I haven't been thinking a lot else."

GILBEY: "Haven't you?"

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "Well, I can tell you, that makes two.......I went to this agonizing tea party, last night. You-know, all I want to do, is to get in my car, and drive around the country talking to you."

DIANA: "THANKS!!!" [laughter]

GILBEY: "That's all I want to do, Darling, I just want to see you, and be with you. That's what's going to be such bliss, back in London."

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "I mean, it can't be a regular future, Darling, and I understand that, but it would be nice, if you are at least next-door, within knocking distance."

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "What's that noise?"

DIANA: "The television, drowning my conversation."

GILBEY: "Can you turn it down?"

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "Why?"

DIANA: "Because it's covering my conversation."

GILBEY: "All, right;........I 'got there': Tuesday night, don't worry; I got there!! I can tell you, the feeling's entirely mutual." [ James Whittaker surmises that Tuesday night at Mara Berni's means "beddy-bye" time, at her home around the corner from San Lorenzo. But after he'd meticulously noted all the points which indicated that Diana and Gilbey WERE sleeping together, he contradicts himself, by opining that he thinks they only just talked about sex. Then why need the use of Mara's private home?? Whittaker chickened out, is my guess. He brownnoses, occasionally. That would explain his support for Charles and Camilla, now that Diana is "out of the game." ]
"Ummmm, Squidgey,.....what else? It's just like unwinding, now. I am just letting my heartbeat come down, again, now. I had the most amazing dream about us, last night. Nothing physical, nothing to do with that."

DIANA: "That makes a change."

GILBEY: "Darling, it's just that we were together an awful lot of time, and we were having dinner with some people. It was the most extraordinary dream, very vivid, because I woke up in the morning, and I remembered all aspects of it; every bit of it. I remembered sort-of what you were wearing, and what was said. It was so strange, very strange, and very lovely, too."

DIANA: [garbled].
[the following items were previously edited out from the first transcript];

DIANA: "I don't want to get pregnant."

GILBEY: "Darling, that's not going happen, all right?"

DIANA: "Yeah."

GILBEY: "Don't think like that. It's not going to happen, Darling; you won't get pregnant."

DIANA: "I watched Eastenders today; one of the main characters had a baby; they thought it was by her husband; it was by another man."

[usual transcript resumes]

GILBEY: [sighing] "Squidgey, kiss me [sounds of kissing by him and her]. Oh, God, it's wonderful, isn't it, this sort of feeling. Don't you like it?"

DIANA: "I love it!!"

GILBEY: "Ummmmm!!"

DIANA: "I love it!!!"

GILBEY: "Isn't it absolutely wonderful?!? I haven't had it for years. I feel about 21 again!"

DIANA: "Well, you're not. You're 33."

GILBEY: "I know."

DIANA: "'Pushing up the daisies' soon, right?"

GILBEY: "No more remarks like that. It was an agonizing tea , yesterday, with,--er--, do you know Simon Prior-Palmer?"

DIANA: "I know who you mean, yes."

GILBEY: "And his wife, Julia Lloyd-Jordan, you must remember her?"

DIANA: "Yes, I dooooo."

GILBEY: "Do you?"

DIANA: "God, yes. Who was she after----Eddie?"

GILBEY: "I can't remember. She lived in that flat, in Cadogan Gardens, didn't she, with Lucy Manners?"

DIANA: "Yes, she did."

GILBEY: "She lost weight. You lived there, for a while, didn't you?"

DIANA: "No, it's the wrong place." [ garbled; Diana corrects him with her former address Coleherne Court or ??? Alleyn Place ].

GILBEY: "Oh! But, the ummm....honestly, I loved going to [garbled]. I mean, they've got quite a nice house, and things; and I knew quite a nice Australian\Polish friend of theirs who was staying.
"And, God! Simon! He's 38-years-old, but honestly, he behaves older than my father! I cannot believe it! I find it so exhausting, when there's people that age. They behave as if they're fifty!"

DIANA: "I know!"

GILBEY: "Anyway, we did time, there, and that was it. We got back; a very nice, quiet dinner. Mark was sort of exhausted from last night; and that was it, really. He was talking about hunting....hunting gets you gripped, doesn't it?"

DIANA: "It does."

GILBEY: "I mean, he drove six hours, yesterday!"

DIANA: [ laughing ] "My drive was two-and-a-half to three."

GILBEY: "He's now talking about both ways. He drives three hours from Hungerford. He was hunting with...can't remember who he was hunting with?--Oh, yes! The Belvoir, yesterday."

DIANA: "The Belvoir, ummmhmm.."

GILBEY: "That was three hours there, and three hours back."

DIANA: "God!"

GILBEY: "And he'd done the same Wednesday to the Quorn."

DIANA: [sarcastic] "How wonderful."

GILBEY: "Ummmm, tell me some more, how was your lunch?"

DIANA: "It wasn't great."

GILBEY: "Wasn't it? When are the Waterhouses turning up?"

DIANA: "Next Thursday, I think."

GILBEY: "Oh? I thought they were coming today?"

DIANA: "No, Thursday."

GILBEY: "To hold onto you, I've gone back to another point about your mother-in-law--no, grandmother-in-law,--no, your grandmother-in-law [ The Queen Mum ]; I think next time, you just want to outstare her, and that's easy."

DIANA: "No, no."

GILBEY: "It's not staring...."

DIANA: "No, no, listen---it's affection, affection----it's definitely affection. It's sort of......??? It's definitely not hostile, anyway."

GILBEY: "Oh, isn't it?"

DIANA: "No. She's sort of fascinated by me, but doesn't quite know how to unravel it, no."

GILBEY: "How interesting. I'm sorry, Darling, when you told me about her, I thought you meant hostile."

DIANA: "No, I'm all right."

GILBEY: "I miss you, Squidgey."

DIANA: "So do I."

GILBEY: "I haven't spoken to you for 28 hours. I've thought of nothing else."

DIANA: "I know, I know."

GILBEY: "Oh, that's all right, if it's friendly, then it doesn't matter."

DIANA: "My stars said nothing about 1990; it was all sort of terribly general."

GILBEY: "Fine; but it's definitely him, within the marriage."

DIANA: "Right!"

GILBEY: "It's not..."

DIANA: [ interrupting ] "Did you see The News of the World?"

GILBEY: "No....he's got to start loving you."

DIANA: "Yes, I saw that. Yeah, she........"

GILBEY: "Did you? I thought, 'Well, there's not much chance of that.'"

DIANA: "No. I know. I know. But, umm, definitely she said I am doing nothing; I am just having a wonderful, successful, well-awaiting year."

GILBEY: "A sort of matriarchal figure."

DIANA: "I know. She said, 'anything you want, you can get next year.'"

GILBEY: "You should read The People, Darling. There's a very good picture of you."

DIANA: "Arrr!"

GILBEY: "Oh, no, it's...where is there a good picture? In The Express was there? I think there's one --wearing that pink, that very smart pink top. That excellent pink top."

DIANA: "Oh, I know, I know!"

GILBEY: "Do you know the one I mean?"

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "Very good. Shit-hot, actually."

DIANA: [laughing] "Shit-hot?!?"

GILBEY: "Shit-hot."

DIANA: "Ummm. Fergie said to me, today, that she had lunch with Nigel Havers, the other day, 'and all he could talk about, was you.'; and I said, 'Oh, Fergie, how awful for you,' and she said, 'Don't worry, it's the admiration club.' A lot of people talk to her about me, which she can't help."

GILBEY: "I tell you, Darling, she's desperate to hang onto your coattails."

DIANA: "Well, she can't."

GILBEY: "No, she absolutely can't. Now, you have to make that quite clear......"

DIANA: "If you want to be like me, you have got to suffer."

GILBEY: "Oh, Squidgey!!"

DIANA: "Yeah; you have to; and then, you get what you ..........?"

GILBEY: "Get what you want."

DIANA: "No; get what you deserve, perhaps."

GILBEY: "Yes, such as a second-hand car-dealer!"[laughs]

DIANA: "Yes, I know." [laughs].

GILBEY: [laughs] "Do you know, Honey, as we go into 1990, I can't imagine, you know, what it was that brought us two together, in that night."

DIANA: "No, I know."

GILBEY: "And let's make full use of it."

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "Full use of it; and funnily, enough, it doesn't hold any sort of terror, any fright for me, at all."

DIANA: [sound of knock at the door] "Hang on. It's OK, come in please. Yes, it's okay.---come in---what is it? Ah, I'd love some salad, just some salad, with yoghurt, like when I was ill in bed. That would be wonderful. About 8 o'clock; then everybody can go, can't they?"

PAUL BURRELL: [in background] "Bring it up on a tray?"

DIANA: "That would be great. Edward will come down, and get it."

PAUL BURRELL: "We'll bring it up."

DIANA: "All right, that'll be great, Paul. No, just salad will be great, Paul, thanks, Paul."

GILBEY: "How much weight have you lost?"

DIANA: "Why?"

GILBEY: "Darling, I'm sure lettuce leaves aren't going to keep you strong. You'll run out of energy driving to London."

DIANA: "I am nine-and-a-half." [ We assume she means "9?stone"--i.e., 14 pounds per=139 lb.]

GILBEY: "Are you? Are you? Nine-and-a-half?.....So, you are staying in, tonight?"

DIANA: "I am, because I am babysitting. I don't want to go out."

GILBEY: "Oh, I see. So, is he going?"

DIANA: "Yes. He doesn't know that I'm not, yet; I haven't told him that, yet."

GILBEY: "I was going to say, Darling, that was shitty; you can't face another night like last Friday, absolutely right. But you are "there", Darling."

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "1990 is going to be fine."

DIANA: "Yes! But isn't it exciting?!"

GILBEY: "Really exciting!"

DIANA: "Debbie [ Frank, Diana's astrologer ] said, "I'm so excited for you. It's going to be so lovely to watch......"

GILBEY: "I don't know, I've been feeling sick, all day."

DIANA: "Why?"

GILBEY: "I don't know. I just feel sick about the whole thing. I mean, wonderful!! I mean, straight-through real passion, and love, and all the good things!!"

DIANA: "Becky said it would be OK, didn't she? The most fulfilling year, yet."

GILBEY: "You don't need to worry, do you?"

DIANA: "She's never questioned someone's mental state, or anything like that."

GILBEY: "What, his?!?"

DIANA: "Yes. Nobody has ever thought about his mind. They've always thought about other things."

GILBEY: "[ garbled ].....something very interesting which said that serious astrologers don't think that he will ever make it."

DIANA: "Yeah."

GILBEY: "And becomes a [ garbled ]."

DIANA: "...And Becky also said this person is married to someone in great power, who will never make the ultima....or whatever the word is." [ ultima Thule: any distant territory or destination; a remote goal or ideal. Latin: "Farthest Thule". What ancient geographers had considered to be the northernmost habitable land. Obviously a reference to astrologers' opinion that Charles will not achieve the throne. ]

GILBEY: "Absolutely. Oh, Squidgey, I love you, love you, love you!!"

DIANA: "You are the nicest person in the whole wide world."

GILBEY: "Pardon?"

DIANA: "Nicest person in the whole wide world!"

GILBEY: "Well, Darling, you are, to me, too. Sometimes."

DIANA: [ laughing ] "What do you mean, 'sometimes'?"

[ section edited out in newspapers ]

GILBEY: "I got up quite late, went for a walk, this morning, and this afternoon. Had lunch. I only got angry because Mark gave the nanny too much wine, and she was incapable of helping at lunch."

DIANA: "I love it."

GILBEY: "He's a rogue, Mark David[garbled]."

DIANA: "Oh, Wills is coming, sorry."

GILBEY: "Are you going?"

DIANA: "No, no."

GILBEY: "He's such a rogue, Darling. He's the man you met."

DIANA: "I remember. But I didn't recognize him."

GILBEY: "He's incorrigible."

DIANA: "Would I like him?"

GILBEY: "He's a sort of social gossiper, in a way. He loves all that, Mark. He's got a very comfortable life, you know. He hunts a lot."

DIANA: "He's 'got the pennies'?"

GILBEY: "He's got lots of pennies. He calls all the horses 'Business' or 'The Office', because when people ring him up, and he's hunting, midweek, his secretary says, 'I'm sorry, he's away on Business.'"

DIANA: [laughs] "It's great to hear it."

GILBEY: "But, ummm, an incredible sort of argument, last night, about subservient women in marriage."

DIANA: "Well, you're an expert."

GILBEY: "I kept very quiet, actually. I could think, Darling, of nothing but you. I thought: 'Well, I should be talking to her, now.' You know, it's five past eleven?"

DIANA: "I know."

GILBEY: "You don't mind it, Darling, when I want to talk to you, so much?"

DIANA: "No, I love it. Never had it, before."

GILBEY: "Darling, it's so nice, being able to help you."

DIANA: "You do. You'll never know how much!"

GILBEY: "Oh, I will, Darling. I just feel so close to you, so wrapped up in you. I'm wrapping you up, protecting."

DIANA: "Yes, please. Yes, please. Do you know, that bloody Bishop, I said to him....."

GILBEY: "What's he called?"

DIANA: "The Bishop of Norwich. [ who later married Sophie and Edward ] He said, 'I want you to tell me, how you talk to people who are ill, or dying? How do you cope?'"

GILBEY: "He wanted to learn. He was so hopeless at it, himself."

DIANA: "I began to wonder after I'd spoken to him. I said: 'I'm just myself.'"

GILBEY: "They can't get to grips that, underneath, there is a beautiful person in you. They can't think that it isn't cluttered up by this idea of untold riches."

DIANA: "I know. He kept wittering about one must never think how good one is at one's job. There's always something you can learn around the next corner. I said: 'Well, if people know me, they know I'm like that.'"

GILBEY: "Yes, absolutely right. So, did you give him a hard time?"

DIANA: "I did, actually. In the end, I said: 'I know this sounds crazy, but I've lived before.' He said: 'How do you know?' I said: 'Because I'm a wise old thing.'"

GILBEY: "Oh, Darling, Squidge, did you? Very brave thing to say to him, actually. Very."

DIANA: "It was, wasn't it?"

GILBEY: "Very Full marks. Ninety-nine out of 100."

DIANA: "I said: 'Also, I'm aware that people I have loved, and [who] have died, and [who] are in the spirit world, look after me.' He looked horrified. I thought: 'If he's the bishop, he should say that sort of thing.'"

GILBEY: "One of those horoscopes referred to you--to Cancerians turning to less materialistic, and more spiritual things. Did you see that?"

DIANA: "No, I didn't, no."

GILBEY: "That's rather sad, actually. Umm, I don't like many of those bishops, especially."

DIANA: "Well, I felt very uncomfortable."

GILBEY: "They are a funny old lot."

DIANA: "Well, I wore my heart on my sleeve."

GILBEY: "They are the ones, when they've got a five-year old sitting between them, their hands meet. Don't you remember that wonderful story?"

DIANA: "Yes, yes!"

GILBEY: "Gosh, it made my father laugh so much! Go on Darling; when you wear your heart on a sleeve......"

DIANA: "No, with the Bishop: 'I understand people's pain, people's sufffering, more than you will ever know.' And he said: 'That's obvious by what you are doing for the AIDS.' I said: 'It's not only AIDS, it's anyone who suffers; I can smell them a mile away.'"

GILBEY: "What did he say?"

DIANA: "Nothing. He just went quiet. He changed the subject to toys; and I thought, 'AH! Defeated you!'"

GILBEY: "Did you? Marvelous, Darling. Did you chalk up a little victory?"

DIANA: "Yes, I did."

GILBEY: "Did you, Darling? Waving a little flag in your head."

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "How marvelous. You ought to do that more often. That flag ought to get bigger."

DIANA: "Yes, my surrender flag [laughs]."

GILBEY: "You haven't got one, have you?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "What, a big one?"

DIANA: "Well, medium."

GILBEY: "Is it? Well, don't wave it too much."

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "Squidge, in this layby, you know, I understand how frightened people feel, when they break down in the dark."

DIANA: "I'm sure."

GILBEY: "I suddenly thought if someone could have shot at me from the undergrowth; or someone suddenly tried to get into the car. I always keep my door locked, for that reason."

DIANA: "Gosh! That's very thoughtful! That's very good of you."

GILBEY: "Darling, how are the boys?"

DIANA: "Very well."

GILBEY: "Are they having a good time?"

DIANA: "Yes, very happy; yeah, seem to be."

GILBEY: "That's nice. Have you been looking after them, today?"

DIANA: "Well, I've been with them a lot, yes."

GILBEY: "Has he been looking after them?"

DIANA: "Oh, no, not really. My God, you know....."

GILBEY: "Have you seen him at all, today, apart from lunch?"

DIANA: "I have; we went out to tea. It's just so difficult, so complicated. He makes my life real,real,torture, I've decided."

GILBEY: "Tell me more."

DIANA: "But the distancing will be because I go out,---and I hate the word--"conquer the world".I don't mean that; I mean I'll go out, and do my bit in the way I know how, and I leave him behind. That's what I see happening."

GILBEY: "Did you talk in the car?"

DIANA: "Yes, but nothing in particular. He said he didn't want to go out, tonight."

GILBEY: "Did you have the kids with you?"

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "What, you just went by yourselves?"

DIANA: "No, 'they' were behind us."

GILBEY: "Oh, were they? How did he enjoy it?"

DIANA: "I don't know. He didn't really comment."

GILBEY: "No. Oh, Squidgey."

DIANA: "Mmmmmmmm."

GILBEY: "Kiss me, please [ sound of kisses ]. Do you know what I'm going to be imagining I'm doing tonight, at about 12 'o clock? Just holding you close to me. It'll have to be delayed action, for 48 hours!"

DIANA: [laughs]

GILBEY: "'Fast forward.'"

DIANA: "'Fast forward.'"

GILBEY: "Gosh, I hope Ken doesn't say no."

DIANA: "I doubt he will."

GILBEY: "Do you?"

DIANA: "He's coming down on Tuesday, and I'm going to tell him, I've got to go back on Tuesday night; and I've got to leave, and be back for lunch on Wednesday. But I can do that."

GILBEY: "You can?"

DIANA: "And I shall tell people I'm going for accupuncture, and my back being done."

GILBEY: [ laughing ] "Squidge, 'cover them footsteps'!"

DIANA: "I jolly well do!"

GILBEY: "I think it's all right. I think those footsteps are doing all right!"

DIANA: "Well, I've got to kiss my small ones."

GILBEY: "Oh, no, Darling."

DIANA: "I've got to."

GILBEY: "No, Squidgey, I don't want you to go. Can you bear with me, for five minutes, more?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Just five."

DIANA: "What have you got on?"

GILBEY: "I've got the new jeans I bought, yesterday."

DIANA: "Good."

GILBEY: "Green socks. White and pink shirt."

DIANA: "How very nice."

GILBEY: "A dark apple-green V-neck jersey."

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "I'm afraid I'm going to let you down, by the shoes."

DIANA: "Go on, then [ laughs ]."

GILBEY: "You can guess."

DIANA: "Your brown ones [ laughs ]. No, those black ones."

GILBEY: "No, I haven't got the black ones, Darling. The black ones, I would not be wearing; I only wear the black ones with my suit."

DIANA: "Good. Well, get rid of them."

GILBEY: "I have got those brown suede ones on."

DIANA: "Brown suede ones??"

GILBEY: "Those brown suede Guccis [ laughs ]."

DIANA: "I know! I know."

GILBEY: "The ones you hate."

DIANA: "I just don't like the fact it's so obvious where they came from."

GILBEY: "Di, nobody wears them, anymore! I like those ordinary, Italian things, that last a couple of years, then I chuck them out. It was sort of a devotion to duty. I was seeking an identity, when I bought my first pair of Guccis twelve years ago."

DIANA: "Golly."

GILBEY: "And I've still got them. Still doing me proud, like."

DIANA: "Good."

GILBEY: "I'm going to take you up on that, Darling; I will give you some money; you can go off, and spend it for me."

DIANA: "I WILL, yeah."

GILBEY: "Will you?" [ laughs ]

DIANA: "I'm a conoisseur, in that department."

GILBEY: "Are you?"

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Well, I think you are."

DIANA: "Well, I've decked people out in my time."

GILBEY: "Who did you deck out? Not too many, I hope."

DIANA: "James Hewitt. Entirely dressed him, from head to foot, that man. Cost me quite a bit."

GILBEY: "I bet he did. At your expense?"

DIANA: "Yeah."

GILBEY: "What, he didn't even pay you to do it?"

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "God. Very extravagant, Darling."

DIANA: "I am, aren't I? Anything that will make people happy."

GILBEY: "No, you mustn't do it for that, Darling, because you make people happy! It's what you give them."

[interruption in tape]

DIANA: "No, don't. You'll know, you'll know."

GILBEY: "All right. But you always say that with an air of inevitability [laughs]. It will happen, in six month's time. I'll suddenly get, 'Yes, James Who? [laughs] I don't think we've spoken before.'"

DIANA: "No."

GILBEY: "I hope not. Well, Darling, you can't imagine what pleasures I've got in store this evening."

DIANA: "It's a big house, is it?"

GILBEY: "It's a nice house. Thirty people for dinner, or something."

DIANA: "God!"

GILBEY: "I know. Do you want me to leave the phone on?"

DIANA: "No, better not."

GILBEY: "Why not?"

DIANA: "No, tomorrow morning."

GILBEY: "I can't, I can't.....all right, tomorrow morning. Shall I give you a time to call?"

DIANA: "Yes, I won't be around from 9:30 to 11."

GILBEY: "Why not?"

DIANA: "I'm going swimming with Fergie."

GILBEY: "Are you? Are you taking the kiddies?"

DIANA: "Might well do."

GILBEY: "You should do. It's good for you. Get them out. It gives you enormous strength, doesn't it? Have the lovebugs around you."

DIANA: "I know, I know."

GILBEY: "Beautiful things, pampering their mother."

DIANA: "Quite right."

GILBEY: "That's what she wants. I think you should take them, Darling. At least you are not breaking with the rest."

DIANA: "No, I'm not."

GILBEY: "Are you..........."

[interruption in the tape]

DIANA: "I'd better, I'd better. All the love in the world. I'll speak to you, tomorrow."

GILBEY: "All right. If you can't get me in the morning.....you're impatient to go, now."

DIANA: "Well, I just feel guilty, because I haven't done my other business."

GILBEY: "Don't feel guilty. They'll be quite all ........"

[ interruption in the tape ]

"Just have to wait until Tuesday. All right."

DIANA: "All right."

GILBEY: "I'll buzz off, and simply behave. I'll approach the evening with such enormous confidence, now."

DIANA: "Good."

GILBEY: "And you, Darling; don't let it get you down."

DIANA: "I won't; I won't."

GILBEY: "All right."

[ tape ends ]

[ the following are tape excerpts that were edited out, due to references to masturbation ]

GILBEY: "Darling, ummm. It's just like,um,just like, sort of......"

DIANA: "Playing with yourself?"

GILBEY: "What? No, I'm not, actually."

DIANA: "I said "It's just like......." Just like----"

GILBEY: "Playing with yourself."

DIANA: "Yes."

GILBEY: "Not quite as nice. Not quite as nice. No, I haven't played with myself, actually. Not for a full 48 hours. Not for a full 48 hours. Ummm, tell me some more."

DIANA: "I don't know, it's all quiet. " [ I would appreciate if someone would inform me of where these belong? ]
EXCEPT WHERE OTHER SOURCES CREDITED, TRANSCRIPT AND COMMENTARY, EDITING, AND ADDITIONAL TEXT BY SUSAN BROWN, COPYRIGHT ?001

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