8/10/03--I'm still trying to figure out why my GF's friend was all hating on me last night. I mean, me and my GF were having a talk(or small fight....whatever), and my GF is telling me how she cares for me and everything, and then her friend jumps in going "Well that's not what you were saying today at the pool!!" What gives with that???!!! I mean, I know she has a right to look after her friend and all(wouldn't expect any less), but that shit is totally uncalled for. I'm willing to bet that I treat my GF better than any guy EVER has. I'm also willing to bet that I treat my GF better than any guy has ever treated her friend!!! I don't know what the deal is. But totally NOT COOL!!!
8/10/03--Another day, another update. Well went to the club again. Shouldn't have done it. Watched my GF talk to some guy. You know, that's all on me. I shouldn't get jealous about her talking to guys. I know this, but I still get jealous. She got all pissed at me because she thought I was ignoring her, but in fact I didn't see her until she came up to me. But I was totally looking for her. And then after the club, her friend(different friend than the one from the other night), was all on my case. I don't know what her problem was, but my guess is that she's mad that my GF is in a relationship and is "jealous" about that fact. WHATEVER!!! I don't have time, nor patience, for that kind of shit. I was polite and didn't say anything rude, mainly because I'm not trying to get in some fight over petty stuff like that. But I was seriously offended by it. Oh well. I told my GF that it was unfair of me to say she can't be "Ms. Party Girl" and explained that the more correct thing to say is that I don't want to be in a relationship with "Ms. Party Girl". I think that's fair, everyone has something they want in a relationship, and there should be no shame in sticking to that. She had to drive her friend home because she was drunk(totallly enabling her to be drunk all the time....but her choice), so I'll probably update this after she calls me later. IF SHE CALLS ME. But I swear to God, I'm really trying my hardest to make this work!!!!! And I hope this doesn't sound TOO ANGRY, but I am listening to the 28 Days Later Soundtrack, so it might come out this way. :)
8/9/03--A bit of an update for all of you out there. Finally talked to my GF about 1am this morning. I'm still a bit ticked off, but it's much better now. Apparently, the guys were friends of hers and she was just dropping them off at their home because they were too drunk to drive, and then she was going over her friends house. I know, I know.....some of you right now are screaming at me because you think I'm some "Gigantic, gullable, believe everything anyone tells me, totally blind idiot", but you have to understand I'm SOOOOO trying to make this thing work, and part of making it work is TRUST!! Even though I think the majority of people in the world are natually evil and out to screw over anyone they can, I still hold trust in high regards. And I do trust her. But I did explain to her that for her to make this thing work, she can't be "Ms. Party Girl" all the time. I mean, you're either in a relationship or you're not. There really isn't a middle ground. Well...there is and they call it 'fuck buddies', but that's a whole different scenerio. Been there, and for me...my emotions get WAY too complicated in that situation(I'm like Melvin from The Big Hit....I can't stand for anyone to not like me). So I told her she needs to figure out what she wants. We'll see how that goes. I mean, I know I have jealousy issues, but c'mon!! I watched her give some dude at the bar a hug, and then that guy bought her a drink. First off, from my expierence, we guys only buy girls drinks for really one reason. Let's not sugar-coat that! And then you add in the fact that a couple months back, she saw me standing there and talking to some girl(just standing and talking, no hugging or drink buying involved)and got all sad/mad and jealous. So I totally believe I was justified in my emotions. I guess all I can do is just hope for the best, and take the punches as they come. Isn't life grand that way??
8/8/03--Okay, this will be simple and sweet. My current girlfriend(yes, girlfriend) decided after the club to go home with her female friend and 3 guys. You read that right, but let me repeat that. Instead of going home with me, my current GF decided to go home with her female friend and 3 OTHER FUCKING GUYS!!!!!!!!! Needless to say, I'm a bit pissed off. Did anything happen?? I don't fucking know, but I do know that the whole thing is pretty fucked up!!!! Just thought I'd pass that along to everyone. Thank you...........good night!!!
8/2/03--Well what do you know...a brand new page for a brand new rant. Flippin' amazing huh?? And I bet some of you thought I was dead huh?? Or didn't care?? Or broke all my fingers and couldn't type?? Nope!! Just got lazy and short on time. But I'm back to speed, or at least an update or two. First off, work: hmmm, still sucks!!!! Sucks big donkey ass!!!!! But I still have a job, so I guess it's not as bad as it could be. I did get a pay reduction for 4 months, so that kinda blows(if you don't know what I'm talking about, basically a bunch of us got in trouble at my job for using the internet and email for stuff other than "work-related" things. You have to read the previous page of rants for more detail). Anyhow, the fact that certain people were targeted and others were not is my biggest complaint. I have no problem accepting responsability for my mistakes, but everyone should be treated, or consequented, fairly and equally. So now I'm basically in a "cut my own nose off to spite my face" type of mood. It's weird....I really can't remember having this much pent up anger, this much hostility, this desire to just f*ck things up whenever possible, since I was a young teenager!! Back then, I used to just go off at the drop of a hat. But at least now I'm smarter than that. Well...........maybe not exactly smarter. I mean, I'm sitting here typing all this stuff at work right now. So basically, I just got fined for something, and I'm pretty much just 'thumbing my nose' at them and breaking the same rule. But hey.....I'm currently working a double shift. That means 16 hours!!! And the only way I can think to stay awake is to update this page. Well, since I don't do speed or anything. I can't even find my cool pills with Ephedera in them anymore. That totally blows. Just because a few people have died and they "THINK" their deaths are related to taking Ephedera. You know, lots of deaths are linked to smoking, but you can still buy smokes!! Just put a warning on the bottle that says "You may die" and get to selling!!!! Luckily for me, I know where you can buy straight Ephedera pills, plus I know you can get a powder version of MaHuang at most health stores or even vitamin cottage!!
I've really decided that I hate working. It's not so much that I hate my job(but I do...I REALLY DO), I just plain hate working. I need a 'work from home' type job. Something that pays me to be on the computer all day, since that's pretty much what I do anyway!!! All the jobs I've seen like that are scams. I honestly believe some people are just not cut out to work in typical jobs, and I'm one of those people. I would rather sit at home and stuff envelopes then go out and work. The problem is that it doesn't pay enough!
I'd like to take this moment to give a shout-out to my monk brother!! What's up bro!!! I point out that he was the only one to email me and inquire about why I wasn't updating my webpage, so to me that says he was the only one that cared. I believe that he is one of the few people that realizes what a terrible place this world actually is. I take great comfort in knowing that.
Oh, some of you might wonder how me and my mom are doing(Hello mom, if you're reading this). To recap, mom insisted on sending me those little "feel good" type chain emails, despite the fact that I repeatedly showed her why they were fake and made up, and asked her very nicely to stop sending them. Well, mom chose not to listen, and despite my warnings of doing it, I ended up blocking her from sending me emails. Well, it's now 8/2/03, and I haven't spoken to my mom since....let's see.... oh, sometime in Feb. or maybe March at the latest. I know I haven't seen her since December. Though, I tried to see her once. I met this girl online, and ended up going over to her place in Aurora and spending the night watching movies and such(no, nothing happened, I was a perfect gentleman, and that's the honest truth. As a matter of fact, to this day I still give her advice about her relationship with her boyfriend, whom she's moving to live with in NM in like 20 days). Anyway, after a night of movies and tv(including some pretty wacked out morning kid shows), we went to Village Inn for some food. As it turns out, the V.I. we go to is in the same parking lot as my mom's office. When I told my friend this, she thought it would be great to go meet my mom, so after breakfast we drove by the office, but despite it being like 9:30 in the am, mom still wasn't at work. Ah well, such is life I guess!! Ok, that's enough for this rant. I'm gonna go update some quotes and such. C-YA!!!
