02/01/04--Well, made it past another birthday. Yay for me!! Don't ask me what I received gift-wise, because it's really not worth discussing. I'm really trying to be a more positive person lately. Trying being the keyword. I won't go into all the big details of "why" right now, because I don't want to jinx anything and ruin something that could turn out to be a GREAT thing. Let's just say I have a new "friend" and so far, so good. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.....isn't that the way you're supposed to do stuff? I'll just do my best to not screw this up like I have everything else.
01/16/04--Well, um....Happy New Year to everyone. I know it's been a little bit since my last update. But I'm a lazy fuck, so what do you expect?? Anyway, allow me to introduce myself:
Hi there.....I'm an idiot!! Why do I say this? Well, last Saturday I went to my little "watering hole" and had a few drinks. I always say my favorite drink is "anything cold and liquid", and to a point...that's true. I can't think of anything I wouldn't drink. But when I order a drink, I usually get either a beer, or my normal Gin & Tonic. Actually, my bartender has learned about me, and now makes me a Vodka+Gin and Tonic. Pretty good drink. Anyway, the following day, I felt...."ok". I didn't have a hangover or anything, but I didn't feel exactly right. So I was up at like 11am, and doing just fine. But then 1pm rolled around, and things changed. I all of a sudden got a headache and started to feel sick. It was weird, because I should've been way past the "hangover time" of my drinking the night before. But, before you could say 'Too much alcohol', I had to make a trip to the restroom. And sure enough, the contents of my stomach were deposited into the toilet. That's not the bad part. The bad part was all the blood that came with it. Yes....I said blood!! And a pretty large amount of it. That will freak you out for a minute or two, let me tell you. I thought maybe I was gonna pass out and die there on the toilet, much like Elvis. Now, before you go yelling at me, let me explain that I only had 3 drinks. ONLY 3!!!!!!! I'm a very big guy and 3 drinks is nothing more than smelling alcohol to me!! So my theory is that due to my ulcer(which has been REALLY acting up lately), alcohol is just not my friend right now. I probably shouldn't have went drinking tonight, but I did anyway. And that's why I'm an idiot. And I'll probably go drinking later this week. That means I'm more of an idiot.
On a different note, wish me luck. The other day I applied to be a ESL(English as a Second Language) teacher in Japan. I figure with my Mass Comm degree and a minor in English, I should have a pretty good shot. It only pays around 2000 a month, but they also pay my airfare, housing, and medical. If I got that job, I'd leave tomorrow. Hell, I'd leave this update half done to leave. And trust me, when I'm gone.........you will NEVER hear from me again. I will totally vanish. So, I'm hoping that comes through for me. On things I'm hoping for, let me just state right here, that I'm hoping things work out for my monk brother!! He's currently working on a plan that I FULLY support, and I wish him the best of luck in it. Of course, if it fails, then we can begin the "REVENGE" phase of the plan!!! And that can be just as much fun. Good luck to you bro!!!
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12/19/03--Okay....I'm a bit..um....inhibriated, so bear with me here on this rant. I'm just gonna bitch about a bunch of stuff.
Went to the club tonight. Saw my most recent ex who told me how I was such a sweet guy and all that stuff. What a crock of bullshit!!!! If I was such a nice guy, you wouldn't have dropped me like a bad habit!!! I don't believe that for a minute. Another friend asked me why I don't try and get back with my ex of nearly 8 years. Well, I have a couple of good reasons. When that ex dropped me, she told me she didn't love me anymore, and that she wanted to see what it was like to date other people. Well, in my head, she dumped me because she lost a lot of weight and no longer found me attractive. So why don't I try for her again? Well, if she stopped loving me...what makes you think she started loving me again?? Plus, she told me recently(within the last 2 months or so) that she hasn't "seen" anyone since she dropped me....so that means she has yet to date anyone else. So that still hangs over the whole relationship. And then you add in the fact that I'm not more attractive than before, but probably less attractive and that spells bad news. I hate my job. I mean I REALLY hate my job. Recently my supervisor came and talked to me about the fact that I need to get there on time and stop being late. I had to explain to him that I don't leave my house until 3pm(the time I'm supposed to be at work) on purpose. I plan on being late every single day. It's my 'moral stand'' atainst the unfair treatment that happens at my job. I plan to continue to be late, adn the job can seriously just kiss my fat black ass!!! The holidays suck. I mean really suck. I've noticed that I'm more depressed than normal. Probably just do the coming holidays and getting a year older a little after that. Never know though...maybe the new year will bring pleasant exciting stuff.
