February 16, 2004
One Man's Ceiling


A fine sunshiny day
I knocked on the door of the second-floor apartment. A woman answered.

"Are you the folks who are hammering on the ceiling?" I asked.

"Well, we're not hammering anything..."

"Are you pounding on the ceiling, then?"

"Look, it's just that my husband and I can hear you moving around up there..."

"Listen," I said, "I take baskets of laundry in and out. I walk around. I sit down in a chair. You're going to hear noises. You live in an apartment."

"I know, I know," she replied. "We hear our neighbor's radio blasting all hours. We hear a baby next door crying all hours..."

"Well, that's apartment life for you."

"But we heard noises up there that made us want to call security. We heard a woman screaming up there."

I stared at her.

"It's just me and a cat up there," I told her.

"Well, it sounded to us like she was screaming like someone was being murdered."

"Well," I replied. "You haven't heard her again, have you?"

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