This Is My Surrender
Young and buff
I've always been bigger than those my age. I weighed 10 lbs. 11 oz. when I was born. I was taller and larger framed than most of my friends growing up. But I was always at an appropriate weight. In my teens I began playing basketball. The non-stop running took a few pounds off of me and I could actually have been called "thin" at the time.
Just prior to college, my family doctor told my parents that they needed to watch my eating habits because I was getting too thin. All this changed when I went away to school.
Livin’
Large–The College Years
When I got to Baptist Bible College, I reduced my exercise significantly. Having no vehicle, I walked everywhere I went, but I spent a lot of time studying in the library or sitting in classes. When I wasn't doing either of those, I was sitting in the music building practicing my trumpet or standing by a piano rehearsing my vocal lessons. The weight began to climb.
Into the work world
After college, I had little direction and ended up working at the local Pizza Hut. Unfortunately, I sampled lots of the food. About a year later I began working closer to the city, which gave me a lengthy commute. My work kept me planted in a chair all day and my commute added about 3 hours of sitting in a car. None of this is particularly healthy.
Marriage
When I got married a few years later, I really slowed down. No longer did I go out with my friends at night—I was obligated to spend evenings with my new wife and certainly didn't think I should be out partying with the dudes. I also developed a terrible eating habit. I got home from work much earlier than my wife and was always hungry when I got home. I began to eat a sandwich or two when I arrived at the apartment and then I ate a complete meal cooked by my wife after she got home. I didn't tell her about my sandwiches. This developed a pattern of "closet eating."
As time went on, the weight grew and grew. I didn't have the sense to change my eating habits as I got older. I remember the time I went to the doctor for a regular checkup and found that I could not be weighed on his scale. That meant that I weighed over 350 pounds. Not a good thing, but I felt healthy and didn't mind the high blood pressure as long as it didn't kill me so I didn't do anything about it.
Wake
up call!
About five years later I experienced some tingling in my left arm. I became nauseated and began sweating. I felt some mild chest pain and realized that I might be having a heart attack. I (stupidly) drove home and my wife took me to the emergency room. The ER was so busy that I just wanted to be released, so when the doctor finally came to talk to me I told him that I was feeling fine at that point. He checked my heart rate and hooked me up to an EKG and then sent me home. Years later my doctor read a graph from another EKG and told me that I had had a heart attack. I guess I already knew that. I began to try to lose some weight. My weight continued to climb.
For the next 10 or so years, I tried many different diets. I was confused by the multiplicity of diet advice that is so freely offered by charlatans and journalists. I tried low calorie/low fat, high fat/low carb, no carb, fad diets like the cabbage soup diet, and many other variations and permutations. Nothing had any reasonable or lasting effect. I once mixed the high protein portion of the Atkins diet with the high carb count of the typical low-calorie diet and ballooned rapidly. That frustrated me enough to seek the help of my physician. I was referred to a dietician.
Under the dietician's care
The dietician I saw had a regular therapeutic plan for each of her
new patients. It was shock therapy. She took me to a scale that could
weigh me. First she asked me how much I weighed. I told her, "Oh,
somewhere around 360 or so."
I
really didn't know because I couldn't be weighed on a doctor's scale
anymore. So when she took me to the hospital's "elephant scale," I stood
on the platform and expected to see the numbers flash - 360, or 370, or
maybe even 380. But I didn't expect to see - 475. But that's what it
said.
How could I have gained so much weight. People don't weigh 475 pounds. That's reserved for walruses and apes—not me.
I dedicated myself to losing weight. I closely followed the dietician's directions. I limited myself to reasonable portions of low-fat/low-calorie foods. I ate veggie burgers. I ate lettuce. I ate asparagus. And since I was always hungry I ate a lot of it. But I could, because it was very low calorie and very low fat. I thoroughly enjoyed such treats as low-fat cheese (waxy orange cardboard) and Cheerios® (little cardboard circles, lovingly smothered in non-fat milk [chalky looking water]). I avoided cakes, bagels, and doughnuts, even though my company had them in abundance on the lunch table every morning and afternoon. I rode my bicycle to work.
I
lost 90 pounds in about 9 months!
And then Christmas came. We went to a few parties. I tried "just a little bit" of the food. I went out to restaurants with friends. I indulged in a huge turkey dinner with lots of gravy and mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce and .... The diet was over.
I discontinued my dietician appointments.
The rollercoaster heads back up
I began to notice my belt getting tighter – I loosened it. We moved further away from the city and I got a job 56 miles from my house. My commute was now two hours each way (and still is). When I returned home from work each day I was too tired to do anything, so I sat on the sofa and watched TV. I knew I was gaining back the weight I had lost, but didn't know what to do about it now that I couldn't ride my bike and I had rediscovered the wonderful taste of real cheese.
Flash forward about 3 years
My
family went to visit my parents in Florida. We rented a large SUV to
drive there and back. I had trouble driving the truck because my belly
rested on the steering wheel. When we got to Florida, my parents were
very excited to show us all the things they do there. I couldn't do much
of anything because it hurt too much to walk and I really didn't get
around very well anyway. Everyone would have to stop to let me take a
breather about every 20 steps or so. So I just stayed at my parents'
house with my dad while my mom and wife took our son to Disney World,
the Tampa Aquarium, and loads of other cool places. I sat on a folding
metal chair on my parents' dock and fished with my dad. After all, if I
weighed too much to move around - I could sit still and forage for food.
When we got home, my wife talked to me about my weight. She told me that she was very afraid for me. She thought that I would die soon if I didn't do something drastic. She told me about Randy Jackson, the American Idol judge who had gastric bypass surgery. She asked me to talk to my doctor about it. I did. He said, "Do it."
Going under the knife
After
a few months of consultation and procrastination, I finally went to a
local bariatric surgeon to discuss the matter with him. I didn't know it
at the time, but God led me to the best bariatric surgeon around, Dr.
Halmi. He counseled me and told me what the requirements were. My wife
and I discussed them and decided to go forward.
I began to get my various blood tests and other medical requirements in preparation for the surgery. Dr. Halmi has a "fat-person's" scale in his office. It couldn't weigh me. It only went up to 450 pounds. At the hospital where I had my blood labs and other assessments made, I met with a wonderful pre-admission nurse. As I talked with her, I learned that she had undergone gastric bypass surgery just a few years earlier. She looked so great—it really encouraged me that someday I might not be so very fat. But the excitement was tempered by my weigh-in.
The nurse took me to their scale and I stood on the platform. 568 POUNDS! I was amazed. I weighed more than a quarter-ton. That's what a car weighs, not me.
Surgery day
The day of surgery came. I was a bit nervous, but glad that it would soon be over. Dr. Halmi greeted and reassured me and then I drifted off under the spell of anesthesia.
The
operation went well. I spent a few days in the hospital and then went
home. I had some indirectly related complications that took me to the
local emergency room the first two days I was home from the hospital,
but nothing major.
Weight loss
The pounds began to come off. In fact, it happened so fast that I wasn't ready for it and didn't keep track of the dates that I got weighed. But when I went to the hospital for a follow-up two weeks after surgery, I had already lost 30 pounds. By the time I returned to work (7 weeks after surgery), I had lost 70 pounds. The weight loss slowed after my return to work, but it continued at a steady pace. I continued to lose about 4-5 pounds per week. I was feeling much better and was able to walk reasonable distances without having to stop to catch my breath and without my back hurting too much.
Six months post-op. 368 pounds – 200 pounds lost so far!
I joined the gym at my office building. I began using the treadmill, the stationary bike, and an elliptical trainer. After my aerobic workouts, I began lifting free weights and, on alternate days, using the resistance training machines. For a short time the weight loss remained at the 4-5 pounds per week rate. But as I developed muscle mass, the weight loss sped up again. I soon began to lose at a rate of about 10-12 pounds per week.
As I write this (encode this?), I am feeling fantastic. I have tremendous energy and feel very alive. My clothes are loose and I'm wearing shirts that I haven't worn in more than a decade. At my last two doctor's appointments I was able to use Dr. Halmi's scale. The most recent weigh-in was 401 pounds. Still quite heavy, but moving in the right direction. It has been almost exactly 4 months since the day of my surgery and I have now lost 167 pounds.
Thanks
So who (I can't bring myself to say "whom") do I thank for this?
My wife, who loves me even though I'm huge. And loves me enough to say, "you need to do something drastic."
My son David, who said that his greatest desire for my surgery was that I would be able to play basketball with him.
Dr. Halmi's staff of incredible women who are the nicest group of people you'll ever meet. They're friendly, efficient, and caring. It's hard to believe Dr. Halmi was able to compile this group.
Deanna Duvall - Dr. Halmi's nutritionist. Deanna is incredibly knowledgeable and very kind. Those who have a weight problem know how mean some people can be. Deanna is kind and understanding while standing firm and letting you know what needs to be done for the surgery to be a success.
Dr. Halmi - the greatest bariatric surgeon in history. Dr. Halmi is a
gentle soul. He's very quiet and calm. He's very reassuring. But, best
of all, he is incredibly competent. I had (and still have) complete
faith in his ability to take care of me and make sure that I'm healthy
and have a long future to look forward to. If you need this surgery and
you live anywhere near Prince William County, Virginia, you need to get
in touch with Dr. Halmi.
God. God is good to his children. He has brought me down a path to this
point in my life where I am finally able to see Him work. He has
protected me through all of my goofs and failures. And he has brought
wonderful people into my life, without whom I would not have made it
this far. Those people include my wife, my son, Dr. Halmi's staff, and
Dr. Halmi. Thank you God.
Anecdote
So that's about it. I have to tell you a story about my son and Dr. Halmi. When Dr. Halmi came out to tell my wife and my son that the surgery had gone well, David looked up at Dr. Halmi and asked, "Did you see my dad's insides?" Dr. Halmi said, "yes." David said, "was it really gross in there?" Dr. Halmi said, "yes, it was pretty gross."
Thanks for listening. E-mail me if you want to talk.
—Rich Gelina
September 11, 2005 – 282 lbs. lost This Is My SurrenderI thought I had the power, I thought I had control. This is my surrender; this is me letting go —Dan Meyers |
 July
17, 2006 – 291 lbs. lostCurrent weight: 279 BTW - this picture was taken at an awards banquet for my wife's company, LifeTouch Studios. This was taken just before she won "National Photographer of the Year." |