At that time, I understood why Jesus sacrficed His life t so I could have eternal life in Him, but I never understood that I had to live out my life for Jesus and have a daily relationship with Him. I pushed Jesus aside from the first place of life to the last. I spent most of my teenage years living up my own life instead of giving it up for Jesus. I used bad language, put-downs, and bullied other kids so I could build up my own self-esteem. During my freshman year of high school. my relationship wth God sunk to the lowest level. I entered a bad relationship, got interested in gangs, and other negative influences. I was in disobedience! I was so ashamed of what I had done, that I doubted that God would even want to forgive me. I asked God to forgive me many times, but all the pressure from thinking back to past mistakes came crashing down on me. I almost lost all faith in God's forgiveness. I would constantly say to myself,, "II'm such a failure! I'm such a bad person! God can never forgive me."
My relationship with God was at a very low point. This was until one of the most memorible moments of my life occured during FCBC summer camp (just after I finished 9th grade). I was so excited to see my friends that I didn't think about fixing my relationship with God. But one thing I never gave up on was the heart of my friend. At the time, my friend had totally lost hope in God. He got involved in gangs and was expelled from his high school for bringing a concealed weapon. After praying for him for a long time, it seemed that God never answered my prayers. I almost lost all faith and hope in God until God turned me around. By God's grace, my friend experienced a miracle while he was meeting with his camp counselors. Later that night, he told the whole cabin of how he accepted Jesus Christ in his heart
for the very first time. I realized the greatness of GOD and how Jesus could transform a person who was so lost in sin. This experience personally renewed my faith that God forgives my sin no matter how terrible a person you are or think you are. God powerfully demonstrated that He is faithful to answer prayer. I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ and decided to start being more faithful to Him. I wanted Jesus as the rightful king of MY HEART! |
