There are certain latitudes that the human race shouldn't live above.
3 Tenets of Life:
These aren't mine, they're Jake's and I think his friend Eric's, but they are too true.
3 Things I Learned From Muppet Babies:
Hamlet's Soliloque 1
O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah fie! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
But two months dead: nay, not so much, not two:
So excellent a king; that was, to this,
Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!
Must I remember? why, she would hang on him,
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on: and yet, within a month--
Let me not think on't--Frailty, thy name is woman!--
A little month, or ere those shoes were old
With which she follow'd my poor father's body,
Like Niobe, all tears:--why she, even she--
O, God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have mourn'd longer--married with my uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules: within a month:
Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears
Had left the flushing in her galled eyes,
She married. O, most wicked speed, to post
With such dexterity to incestuous sheets!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.
ASCII Doodles
:) you all know what that is, =) is my version, because even in RL i draw happy faces with lines for eyes instead of dots
>=)= a vampire
8)= Notbob, he wears glasses and has a goatee
=)~ drule ;) winky >;) devious winky ^_^ kawaii ^_~ winky kawaii O_o kind of a "looks at you funny" ~O_O~ kinda freakin' out �_� shifty eyed ^_~ kawaii wink -_- sleepy ^(OO)^ a moo cow <>< a fishy =~) *sniffle* =~( cwying =X kissy =Ppissed or disgusted >=Pvery pissed off
@}--;--'-- the ever popular ascii rose, or if you're really talented, @}--;--'--
#}---- a daisy
O]---- a dandelion
X---- a 4 leaf clover
>}---- a tulip
O==[=====> a sword
8===> a penis
Verbalage
like - can be inserted anywhere
or something - follows any general statement
and stuff - follows any specific statement
um, yeah - response
ya know - insert
yeah, sure, yep, no problem, okay, ookies - response or insert, can be used singly or in combination with each other
totally - usually agreeing with someone
wazup - translates "what's up", usually proceeded by "hey"
pook - poke, as in pooking someone in the tummy so they giggle like the pilsbury dough boy
smoochies - kisses
24/7 - i think everyone knows this one
asap - pronounced "aysap", for A.S.A.P.
kewl - cool, as in a good thing
dude - any close-ish friend, also can be inserted anywhere at any time for any reason
man - aquaintance-ish friend
sucks - bad thing
sucks ass - worse thing
whatever - nonchalance
What. Ever. - used jokingly to give a close friend a hard time, said with a stereotypical valley-girl accent (try elongating the "r" in Ever: What. Everrrrr.), similar to "talk to the hand"
chode - men
leshbian - a form of the word "lesbian" evolved from a hysterical conversation between Jake and Lauren
troushersh - a form of the word "trousers", said with a Sean Connery-esque accent, evolved from a conversation with myself, Jake and Tommy
Jake's Famous List of Words for Penis
wasted, gone, blasted, frizzle fried, nobbed, crocked, shitfaced, tight, wrecked, tipsy, buzzed, inibriated, trashed, smashed, thrashed, fucked up, intoximicated - drunk
nummerz, tasteyrific - yummy
poopybutt - gee, how does one explain poopybutt?
blarg - goes along with the ASCII face =P, a mixture of disgust, derision, exasperation, fatigue, etc, also said in error as a curse ("oh, blarg!")
dope - cool
it's best to use these words in conjunction with large words, like conjunction...ya know...totally...