So yesterday turned into a horrible day. I'm so glad it's over. And I didn't break anything (although the desire to become violent was all-encompassing at times). I overslept and was late for work. I went to the campus parking office to get my new permit (which I still didn't get) only to find out that my registration is expired. This is a good time to have the car title transferred from my mom to me. I live in New York, where state policies are created by crack addicts with too much free time. I filled out the 4 different DMV forms, created a bill of sale, and had them sent overnight to my mother for her signature. In the mean time I'm driving illegally, yay. Students are starting to come back... they're so neurotic, and whiny, and high-maintenance (shut-up). Went home and had to open all the windows because it smelled funny in the apt. Researched on the computer (topic to be announced later) and then felt motivated to power-walk the neighborhood. Bad idea, I live on a hill. After almost passing out (stupid arrhythmia) I made it home, cooled down, and felt inspired to find paperwork regarding previously researched topic. I looked for my Palm Pilot and my very old laptop in a box buried underneath a plethora of other boxes. Found said electronics, along with a spider web and an egg sack in the process of hatching. After my hysteria died down, I sprayed, squished, and vacuumed up the evidence. Then I began a cleaning rampage, resulting in an unusable living room and a smoking vacuum cleaner (I turned it off before it burst into flames). The rotating brush mechanism was jammed, friction bad, fire hazard. I tried to solve the problem but I was experiencing severe screwdriver malfunctions. It's now waiting for Drew to come home. Back to the Palm and laptop... PDA won't charge, great. Laptop is very old and quite contentious at times. An hour later... still not cooperating. Another 30 minutes... it's literally falling apart in my hands. The sacrament of unction was performed and the laptop is no longer with us. RIP. Sudden torrential downpour begins and I quickly close all the windows. Shower (this time by choice), TV, bed. *sigh* It's over. And this is why, in spite of the cold and rain, today is a good day because it means yesterday has ended.
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Monday, 8/6/2007
Yeah, I haven't written anything in 7 months. What can I say, your life becomes completely sucked up by wedding planning, you turn into a totally different person, and when it's all done you wonder, "what happened to me?" My wedding day was the best day of my life, but not for any of the reasons that I thought it would be. I thought it would be the most beautiful, perfect, fun, vivid memory of the rest of my life... it wasn't. There were so many things that weren't as nice as I would have wanted, so many things that went wrong, so many times when I just wanted to say, "Drew, lets get the heck out of here!", and when it was all done it was one big blur of crazy insanity. But what did happen was I began a new life in which I get to love and be loved forever by the most incredible person I've ever met. I learned what to (and what not to) expect from my in-laws, which has made my relationship with them a lot easier. I was able to say good-bye to my single life, not with tears of sorrow or regret, but with a smile that said how excited I was to face my married future. I gained a whole new "tree" of family that's more wonderful than I ever could have imagined. And if there's one piece of advice that I can give to future brides... HIRE A WEDDING COORDINATOR! Seriously, don't play, it's worth the money and it will save your sanity. Plus, when people that have no business asking "why" about anything start needing to know the motive behind every decision that you've already put hours upon hours of time into making, you can tell them to talk to the wedding coordinator (instead of saying, "piss off", but anyways...). And then proceed to enjoy your facial, your hair appointment, your latte, and your chocolate covered strawberries.
Married life is something else that's totally different than imagined as a single person. I didn't realize the kind of expectations that I had put on myself as a wife, believing that if I didn't fulfill these expectations that I was somehow letting my husband down. Strangely enough, my expectations had nothing to do with cleaning, doing laundry, making money, and not spending too much money while shopping. It had to do with cooking. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that if I didn't have this great meal on the table every night, or if I didn't anticipate that we were running low on snacks, drinks, whatever and go to the grocery store before Drew came home and wanted whatever it was that we didn't have, that somehow I wasn't doing my best for him. After about two weeks of this paranoia, I finally talked to him about it. He laughed, hugged me, and said that I already do more than he ever could have expected, and that it's not my job to anticipate his every desire and fulfill it perfectly. He also said that he's lived a long time on Spaghetti O's and Mac & Cheese so anything I make is always ten times better than that. Although the occasional meal of Spaghetti O's or Mac & Cheese with hot dogs is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes I'm just not going to want to put a lot of effort into dinner and other times I just won't want to cook at all. And there's nothing wrong with that.
No matter how hard we fought it, it was still depressing when we first came back from Jamaica. In spite of every attempt to keep the honeymoon from ending, guess what?... it's already over. Then I sort of freaked out, tried to keep from being pessimistic ("Is this as good as it gets?!") and pretty much went through a postnuptial depression. Then I talked to Drew, ALOT. Every day, when something would send me off, we would talk and we would work through it. He's the most kind, patient, and understanding person towards me and I never could have imagined that I would be this blessed. Now, every day is better. Now we live for the weekends, for lying in bed while watching Jay Leno's monologue on the Late Show, for phone calls when Drew's traveling, for "I love you" text messages, for motorcycle rides to the $4 movie theater, for sleeping in late on Saturdays, for packing our suitcases together before heading out for a weekend trip...
Life is good, but not for any of the reasons I thought it would be. ;)