Rev it up!
Stories
Running Out of Gas in the Ram by Boots Guy
When I was growing up, my parents had a large camping trailer that we took to the lake most summer weekends. The trip maybe was 100 miles round trip. We could barely make it if we started with a full gas tank. On one trip, we got home late Sunday, and unhooked. Mom & Dad decided to go check on Grandma, so as he was leaving, Dad asked me to take the truck, a 77 Dodge with a 440 engine, to get gas for the next week. "No problem," I said. "Any excuse to put my foot on that huge gas pedal is fine by me," I thought. I get into the truck and start it up normally, pressing the pedal maybe 1/3 of the way down. It starts then immediately dies. That's weird. I'm not even fucking with it. I turn the key again and start pushing the pedal down and it starts. But when I start out the driveway, it dies again. The gas gauge still shows 1/8. I turn everything off, roll down the window and pump the pedal a couple times. It starts right up. And dies just as fast. I try it again but it just turns over and over, so I kick my rubber thong off, put my bare foot on the big pedal and start pumping it kind of slow at first, then a little faster, still cranking the engine. I turn the key back off and pump the gas a long time to see if I can smell any gas. No. Must be empty after all. I add a gallon to the tank and I know I should take off the air filter and spray some starting fluid, but why ruin all the fun?
Back in the truck, I plant my foot on the pedal and take a minute to feel it up and down, not moving the pedal, just tracing the 4 edges of the rubber and getting the feel of the hard rubber under my foot. This is a huge pedal, about 8 inches long and maybe 3 inches wide at the base, where it is mounted to the floor. Then I start pumping the gas. I'm pumping it for all it's worth, getting that big thing all the way to the floor and back up, still against my foot, and then I throw it down again. I turn the key on. Now I'm pumping the gas so hard that my heel lifts up off the floor and pedal, and only the ball of my foot and toes touch the pedal. The engine is grinding away and my foot is pumping, pumping, pumping, but it's not starting. I've worked the pedal so hard and so much my foot hurts, so I put on a pair of brown leather lace-up work boots (no socks) that happen to be in the truck. I get right back to the pedal. Turning the key on, I also start pumping the gas again. I watch my hairy leg leading down to the well-worn, dirty boot which is pumping the shit out of that huge pedal, again and again pushing it fully to the floor and letting it back up, taking full advantage of every millimeter of travel. But regardless how much I work my foot, the engine isn't going to start. I stop everything long enough to sniff the air again. No gas smell. I can take care of that. More pumping is needed! But this time, I open the door and put my left leg out. This way, I can hear the engine even better when I try it again, I can smell the flooded carb., and I can watch my right foot without looking through the steering wheel. By now I'm pretty worked up, so I go full force on the pedal. Still with the key off, I start working the pedal with all the strength I have. I'm not thinking about kicking it to the floor or letting it pop all the way back up. I'm just covering as much distance as possible. My whole leg is pumping! Finally, the smell of gas. I turn the key on and slam the pedal down and hold it there. My butt is about to come off the seat I'm pushing the pedal so hard. The truck shakes violently and the engine whines until finally it starts and sputters. The smoke rolls out the exhaust. I pump and floor it a few more times to show it who the real boss is, until I finally let it clear out and idle smoothly.