Radio Station: WKQX(FM), Chicago, Illinois
Date/Time Broadcast: March 6, 2001, between 8:05 a.m and 8:25 a.m.
Material Broadcast: Mancow's Morning Madhouse

Radio Station: WKQX(FM), Chicago, Illinois
Date/Time Broadcast: March 7, 2001, between 8:00 a.m and 8:46 a.m.
Material Broadcast: Mancow's Morning Madhouse

THE CAST:
M: Mancow
FV1: Female Guest
FV2: Female Cast Member
MV1: First Male Cast Member
MV2: Second Male Cast Member
Y: The Yelling Guy


Y: Hey this is Anger Anderson, the yelling guy and I want to talk about how my spunk-a-thons are always killed by manly mugs. When I flog my beef stick while watching some pink in a porno, I don't wanna see some guy's face, seriously people am I right? Guys in pornos are butt ugly, and right when I'm ready to shoot airborne like number 23 in his heyday, I gotta see some porno dude's face. God, the guys in pornos look like they want to kill these broads. Their faces are so contorted they look like they just smelled a fart, you know the kind of fart right after you've eaten chimichangas, and right before you take a big sh-(beep to cover the word �shit.�) Focus on the girl, I don't want to see shaved porno guy luggage either. Show me the pink and all the porno guys are just dripping sweat. Hell, I don't like to work that hard when I box-bang. Oh, also I don't like those endless shots of girls smoking pole. It makes me feel like a homo, get to the sex and keep the camera on the pink, Spielberg.

M: Alright listen. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I see his point. Let's go to Laurie. Laurie, Hello.
FV1: How are you?
M: Hi Laurie. Is this stuff legal?
FV1: Yes it is.
M: Okay. Here's what I want you to do.
FV1: Yeah.
M: Not you, Laurie. Prison Bitch (First Male Cast Member) I want you to go over there and I want you just to rub, rub her bottom.
MV1 : Alright.
FV2: Oh no, oh my gosh.
MV2: How does he get the good jobs here?
M: Is it okay? Does he have permission to rub your bottom?
FV2: Yeah. I suppose he has permission. Woah.
MV2: All those months of smelling your finger it's finally paid off for you.
MV1: Which hand?
M: Okay. Use both hands. Just stand behind her and just kind of rub her a little. How many of these bottles have you had?
FV2: I've had two. Woah. Oh my gosh.
M: Is it like ecstasy? Have you done ?ex? before?
FV2: Mancow, I've never done ex before but?

M: Now be serious.
FV2: I'm feeling this constant rush.
M: Okay.
FV2: Honestly.
M: Well, is it possible that it is just packed with caffeine? What are you doing? Rub her ass.
MV1: I'm rubbing.
[Background laughter]
FV2: He is rubbing.
MV2: He's doin' it. He is doin' it.
FV2: [Laughing]. Oh my gosh?

M: And you don't stop. By the way that's the greatest? Do you want me to show you how to rub it?
MV2: He's rubbing her ass like it's his husband Robert in front of him.
MV1: Yeah.
M: Yeah they're in the prison cell, Prison Bitch. Yeah.
[FV2 laughing]
FV2: No, but seriously this really works. I'm feeling Duncan Hines right now.
M: Now wait, you're feeling wet and gooey?
FV2: Yes.
M: Is it possible?


FV2: Yeah.
M: Is it possible that it's psychosomatic? Well let me tell you the drink is called ?Niagra.? We've heard a lot about this and uh other women have told me that it works. What are you doing?
FV2: [laughing such that what she is saying is unintelligible].
MV2: He's rubbing her butt.
M: Don't stop, don't stop dude.
FV2: Really I think that I have to go home and take care of this problem right now.
M: Can he rub up front a little bit?
FV2: [laughing] I don't know about that.
M: Listen. Listen. Let me say something to you. Hey little girl?

MV2: That doesn't sound like a ?no? to me.
M: You can see what she looks like at Mancow.com. Can I just say something to you little girl?
FV2: Yeah Mancow.
M: Don't think it's the ugly big nosed dork behind you. Just imagine it's me right there.
FV2: Okay. Why can't it be you?
M: Close your eyes.
FV2: Okay.
CONTINUED...
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