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| You Know You're a Horse Person If... - You pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,700 pickup truck. - You're seriously considering an even trade of your 1998 Buick for a 1986 Diesel crewcab dually pickup truck. - You dress like a lawyer on weekdays, and someone who needs a lawyer on your days off. - You plan your pregnancy around the show/hunting season so you can send your horse to the trainer during the eighth and ninth months. - You buy duct tape by the case, and carry a roll in your pocketbook, your briefcase, and the console of your car. - You realize that finding a horse shoe truly is lucky because you've saved ten bucks. - You have saved five old left mud boots "just in case", and another right one has sprung a leak. - You'll drive an hour in a snowstorm to ride your horse, but God forbid you have to drive 5 minutes to the store to buy groceries. - Your friends no longer ask to get together with you on a weekend afternoon because they know you'll say -- "I can't, I have a show/penning/rodeo/trail ride." - You consider a pristine golf course as a waste of good pasture land. - Every time you drive past a construction site, you think how you coulduse all that lumber at the barn! - After arriving at the barn and finding the sprinklers on in the indoor arena, you go ahead and ride in it anyway. What's a little indoor "rain"? - Your horse gets new shoes more often than you. - Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse complains that you love your horse more then you love him/her and you answer: "And your point is?" - Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse does something nice for you, and you say "good boy/girl" and pat him/her on the neck. - You're trying to pass someone in a crowded hallway and instead of saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck at them instead. - You meet a business associate for a breakfast meeting and they reach over the breakfast table to pick alfalfa out of your hair. - No one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay all over their clothes...But hey, that's OK!! You'd have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them anyway! - You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food... - Your first stop in the office is the men's/lady's room to remove the shavings from your shoes. - The non-horsy guy/gal you just started dating gives you a funny look after glancing into the back seat of your car, and you realize your whips and spurs have been noticed. - Your kids run through the house and you tell them to whoa. -* Your car trunk acts as an auxiliary tack box. - You see the vet more than you see your child's pediatrician. - The doctor says the bump on your finger is an inflamed tendon sheath, and you tell him, "Oh, you mean a windpuff." -You cannot imagine why anyone would think it kinky to own whips. - You yell at people and the horse's name pops out. - On rainy days, you organize the tack room, not your room - Books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references are incorrect. - You actually get to a point where flies don't bother you so much. - You've considered moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than the house. - Your horse seems the right choice when you need to talk something out with someone. - You often sneak furtively into Laundromats and pretend that you really didn't just put that stinky, filthy horse blanket into the comforter-sized machine. - You have more pictures of your horses in your office than you have of your family. - You can find your boots in the dark by the aroma. - You drive up in the yard, get out of the car and inhale the perfume of the manure pile. - You talk to the horses like they were kids. - The only picture you have of your spouse just happens to have been taken the one (and only) time you let him/her ride your horse. - You hate posing for pictures unless you're on your horse. - You chirp, cluck or kiss to your truck/car. - You don't notice the barn smells on your clothes/shoes and wonder why "regular" folks are sniffing the air when you walk up. - Most of your social life is with other horse folk. - You known more about equine nutrition than human nutrition. Just ask your kids. - All your clothes have horsehair on them, even if they've never been worn to the barn. - You choose which clothes to buy on the basis of whether or not you can wash horse slobber/manure out of them. - You get out of your warm bed at 3:00 AM, and go outside to bring the horses in because it's raining. If that's not enough, you even dry them off a little, before going back to bed. - You giggle when your braiding you're horse's tail and he/she passes wind in your face. - You get your income tax refund and the first thing you do is head for the tack shop. - Every time you go to the stable, it takes 3 hours and you can't imagine where the time went. - You choose your new dog by which breed is best with horses. - You always have new foal pictures in your wallet. - People stop asking you to do things on Saturday--They figured out it's your riding day. - You count the "strides" between the shadows of streetlamps and trees on the road. - You have gone to school with "blue hands" from your new gloves. - More than half of your friends have seen you in riding gear in the grocery store. - You poke and cluck to people to move over. (& they have started responding) - You pat people and tell them "Good Boy". |
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