| Author's note: the views in this publication are not necessarily the view of the writer of this piece. Also, all events and characters are fictional, if any of the events and characters described are actualy to any events or persons, this was unintentional and purely a coincidence. There was once two college freshman who lived in neighboring dorms. The girl, small and frail, unrelentlessly unhappy and lonlely, yet oddly, at times happy and at peace. He, Madison, being average height and weight, and with an odd charm that made him all the more handsome, longed to fill her void, wanting her only to be happy. Daily, she ascended the stairs, only smiling when the fancy struck her. Singing only when she felt the need. Daily, he watched from his window, smiling when she was happy, laughing when she danced or skipped merrily, or reaching his hand to touch the window, as if touching her face, when she was crying. He loved to watch her as she walked to her room. Memorizing her daily, her weekly schedule. Knowing that she was oblivious to anyone watching her. Knowing that she wouldn't sing or dance if she knew there was an audience. He knew her, wanted to know her better, but was too shy. If he had only known that she, too, watched him as he returned to his dorm. She sat out on her ledge, many times, writing in her journal or reading a book, and noticed him walking to and from his dorm Many times her heart skipped when he looked up towards her . She was unawware of his secret smile, he was unaware of her longing expression. What silly fools they were, thy secretly wished the other would notice but they were blind to the fact that they did. Only fate could pair these predestined lovers. She walked to class, content in walking alone, but still secretly longing for someone to join her. He happended to be leaving his dorm at the moment she passed and for a brief moment their eyes met. He hurried to walk beside her, but his shy awkeardness left him stumbling for an opening for conversation. Like some sort of second wind, God intervened. He had the freshman trip right next to her. The boy horrified that she would laugh and never speak to him, covered his face. She, horrified that he had hurt himself, stopped and picked up his books and asked if he was alright. His ego bruised more than anything, he accepted the books and the kind words with a nod and a mumbled thanks. Then he fell in pace besider her and mumbled, "You must think I'm a jerk." At which she quickly replied,"No, not really. You should have seen the fall I took the other day when I was jogging around the track." At that point her shyness quickly subsided and she told him about her spill and how mortified she had been to notice that whole football team was looking at her. His resolve and humiliation also receded and he was laughing at her quick wit. They were soon talking and laughing like old friends. Little did they know, they were old friends. It may sound silly to say that they were both very old souls, it would seem overused to say that they wre soul mates. But that is at best how I can possibly describe them. God grants us many lifetimes, and His will guides us down teh path He has mapped out for us. Although through stupidity, we can change the directions. This makes the road difficult and bumpy but the harshest realities provide the best lessons. Our lovers have learned many lessons through many lifetimes and will soon be learning more. The reason, these souls have bonded so easily is becaues they have known each other during many lifetimes. Their bonds have crossed astral planes, making them unbreakable and indescribable. In one lifetime, he was a son of a Pharisee, she the daughter of a poor disciple of the man called Jesus of Nazareth. They met at the market and God smiled in their direction, they fell in love. She lifted his veil of illusion and prejudice, he lifted her veil of unhappiness for such a short time, until they were found out and stoned. He, for "abolishing the prophets," she, for being what would later be termed as a heretic. Their lives crossed many times, once as a bartender and passenger on a riverboat, another time as soldiers fighting together in "'Nam,"they have met for a purpose, to serve as lessons to gain elightenment. The lesson they gained as college students was the most important of them all, the lesson of love and giving. They spent their time getting to know each other, having lunch together. They took it slow, for she had been hurt so many times, she aws afraid fo being hurt again. He, understanding the hurt in her eyes reflecting the frailty of her heart, he never pushed or needled. He let her understand what she felt on her own time. When that time came, it was both exhilarating and frustrating. She had so many emotions in her heart, she became even frailer. Her heart, used to be battered and torn, grew weary with the newness of these feelings. Again, he understood and tried to heal and repair the damage exacted toward her by the carelessness of many from his gender. This was a task difficult for only one boy and he also grew weary. Tearfully, the grew farther and farther apart. She didn't want to hurt and be hurt. He wanted so much to help her and yet he wanted help. Again, God intervened. After weeks passed and they saw less and less of each other, she became more and more weary. She became tired of not being able to meet his eyes when and if she talked to him. Finally, they stopped seeing each other all together. Feeling the final and most devastating blow to her heart, memories and past failures flooded her brain and she decided to take measures into her own hands. She carefully wrote her feelings in a book, and made sure to write letters to all she cared about. She wrote her apologies, her regrets, her fears, her tears, and everything went into that beautiful book. She then walked to the ledge of her dorm and sat down, took a blade and sliced the veins in both of her wrists. How suddenly clarity shone through the haze of tears and confusion. She had been so afraid to be hurt she shut out everything, including her family, Madison,, but most importantly God. How could she have been so stupid? She so regretted not giving more, being so lifeless, being so shut off from everybody and everything else. But God saw her mistakes and he wasn't allowing her to leave them unresolved. It just so happened, Madison had been looking out of his window, and when he saw her, watched, wondering what she was up to. He saw her sit on her ledge, hold out her arms, and make slicing motions on her wrists. He saw the glint of metal fall from her hands, and shocked, knew what she was doing, knowing that she had done so earlier in her life. Her blood was already beginning to pool from her wrists, she was already so pale and cold. He raced down the stairs of his dorm, ran next door, cursing himself and her under his breath. He flew past the people at the front desk ignoring the protestation as he ran past them, his mind only on stopping Isabelle. He knew that she was fragile but was she so stupid that she would do somthing like this? Bitter tears rolled down his cheeks as he ascended her stairs with the people from the front desk close behind him. When he reached her, she was so pale and still, blood along with life, trickling from her wrist. How could she have done something like this? Someone ran to call 911 but they wouldn't respond in time. The hospital wasn't very far so they bandaged her wrists and loaded her in his truck. He raced to the hospital and doctors rushed to attend to her, asking him questions as they worked. The grim faces of the doctors made his heart fall to the floor. He prayed feverishly, as he sat in the waiting room, so that God would let her live. He sat there praying so intently that at first he didn't notice one of the doctores, who had been attending Isabelle, walk in. He looked up startled, and with a pleading look, asked if she was alright. The doctor answered gravely, "She's still not out of the woods yet, we will know in the next twenty-four hours. But yes, she's still alive. You may see her now." And he sat at her side for twenty-four hours, praying, whispering , and talking to her. Anything to give her a reason to hold on. And through the grace of God, she did. Two days later, she awoke, weak and pale, but she was awake. Heaven answered his prayers, she was awake. Tears pooled in both of their eyes. She tried to speak but nothing came from her mouth because before she could say a word, he kissed her. He kissed her with such gentleness, yet with hunger, she couldn't hep but kiss him back. When he broke away, she found her voice and whipered, "I love you, and I'm so sorry for never showing it, for being so selfish. For hurting you, for doing this, I'm sorry." He held her and forgiveness shined in his eyes and they were complete. They learned the lesson as God had intended and he smiled down on them that day. But these young lovers still have a lot of lessons to learn in their lifetime but they are fortunate to have each other along the way. L. Boykin |