| Rant : You Don't Even Carry My Luggage, So Shut Up (continued) Anyhow, the other day, I was helping a friend with his boxes. He had somewhere in the region of 10 boxes, which is not all that unreasonable, considering most of the boxes were small. Not Travolta and Cruella were on duty that day, and so Not Travolta went to open the store. My friend had already spoken to Martin the previous day about the situation, and had been given the impression that Martin was okay with it (ie. Martin grinned and winked). When Not Travolta saw the number of boxes, he was aghast (but like his namesake, had little facial expression to show for it). He haggled about the 5-box limit, while my friend said that he had already talked to Martin about it. See, the thing is my friend had to get to the airport in a few hours� time, and so there was no way he could repack everything into larger boxes, in order to satisfy the 5-box limit. This happened : Not Travolta : I remember the same thing happening last term, and I told you before about how many boxes you can put into the store. [Aside : It is perfectly fine to put 5 large suitcases into the store, but not 6 small boxes � go figure.] Friend : Yeah, but what do you expect me to do? My home is thousands of miles away and I�ve got nowhere else to store my things. Not Travolta : Well, you had an entire term to make alternative arrangements. Alternative arrangements? What does that mean? I was thinking to myself : �You mean, dig a hole in the garden or something?� Anyway, let�s get back to the conversation. Friend : Well, my flight leaves in a few hours, there�s nothing I can do about it now. Not Travolta : Okay. Well, go ahead then. If you feel good about putting all your boxes in there, and having someone else come later and have no space at all, then go ahead. Friend : I know what you�re trying to say, but really, there�s nothing I can do. The sheer audacity of it all to coddle us into feeling guilty! The most preposterous thing, really, is that you could probably fit 4 boxes into 1 trunk, and yet a box and a trunk each count as one item. Because none of us were lucky enough to be 150 years old, there was no way we could have gotten one of these trunks. Anyhow, Not Travolta then had to go somewhere, and (boy oh boy) Cruella came to take his place. The same bitching went on again, and she expressed incredulous shock (�Six?!�) when one of my other friends had a grand total of six boxes (none of which were huge). My argument against this whole stupidity is that if one were to put a trunk in the storage, it would take up an entire shelf, and there was no way boxes could be stacked on top of one another. With small boxes, they can go into corners and be shifted around to minimise the use of space, so I completely do not understand the logic behind it all. Today, it was my turn. I packed until 5 am last night to squeeze everything into 5 boxes. I went to the porters� area and it was Not Travolta, flying solo (not enough space in the room?). Anyway, I told him that I had arranged with Martin the previous day to have the store opened at 10 am, and he said he was too busy and could not open it now. I was like, �Yeah, but I have to leave soon�. And then � Not Travolta : There�re 130 medical applicants coming in today, they all need help, and I haven�t even had time to do the mail. [Aside : The store is less than 100 metres away from his office.] Me : I have to leave at around noon. (Thinking : What does he not understand about the word �leave�?) Not Travolta : You�re wanting to leave as soon as possible? Me : No. Someone�s coming to pick me up at noon. (Thinking : This guy would never differentiate a normal alarm clock from a time bomb.) Not Travolta : Fine. Let�s say 11 am. Me : Okay, thanks. All my boxes are outside the store already anyway. Not Travolta : Oh, they�re there already. Well, okay, I�ll be there in five minutes. I�m too tired to whine about that last illogical bit, because I trust all of you can appreciate how daft the whole thing is. Anyhow, he was pleasantly surprised that I only had 5 boxes, and we finished shifting everything in within 2 minutes. Not Travolta even helped me carry one box, therefore deserving his new nickname �The Porter That Carries Luggage�. But still, Not Travolta, do me a favour this holiday season and shut up. And spread that holiday wish to PMS and Cruella for me, if you insist on not shutting up. |