| A Necessary Evil The thought of going to a therapist for any reason never much appealed to me. There have been a great many obstacles in my life that have tested me. I had always found ways to deal with those situations on my own. Knowing that no reputable surgeon would ever perform SRS on me without a letter of recommendation made me seek out a therapist who could help me get everything in order for my transition. In the beginning I viewed it as nothing more than a necessary evil. I found someone in my area who had experience with transsexuals and made an appointment to see her. I remember very well the first time I met her. I told her about my desire to live as a woman completely: mind, body and soul. After we chatted for some time she asked me where I saw myself in five years. I told her that if I was a betting woman I would bet that within five years I would be completely transitioned. Who would have ever thought that would have been such a conservative bet? I was already taking hormones and doing electrolysis by the time I had met her. I had started electrolysis many years before considering the surgery. Most of my facial hair had been removed, thanks to having a very light beard. In all I might have spent 80-90 hours on my face. Those times were painful indeed, but I never used any type of anesthetic for the pain. I'm certainly glad those days are behind me. The hormones, at first, lifted my spirits immensely. After a period of months I remember going through some tough times emotionally. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, and I felt I was well on my way to transitioning. |
| Losing A Brother My family was basically okay with the fact that I crossdressed. On several occasions my sisters and I had a girls night out. We went to dinner and then enjoyed some dancing afterward. They accepted me completely and we enjoyed those times a lot. As I was going to my therapist, and discovering my deep desire to transition, I kept dropping hints to my sisters about my plans. I thought it would be a natural progression for my sisters to accept me living fulltime as Stephanie. I encountered some resistance from them which surprised me. My therapist suggested bringing the three of them to one of my sessions. So on a warm June evening we all assembled with my therapist to discuss the issue in depth. They all sat on the couch and I sat in a chair that soon became the hot-seat. My therapist made me describe in detail my desire to transition and what all the physical changes would entail. Each of my sisters voiced their concerns with my desire to transition. To them the idea of losing a brother they had known all their lives was unsettling. I was so naive that I had never considered the consequences. To me, what could be better for them than gaining a sister? My oldest sister felt like she was losing the only male confidant she had ever known. My therapist shrewdly pointed out that the reason we had a keen communication with each other was because I was not a typical man. Being a transsexual had allowed me to forge relationships with my sisters that normal brothers usually could not establish. Afterall, I was the only brother in our family that religiously spent time with them. That night brought down a few barriers. I hugged my sisters outside afterward. I knew then I could count on their support and love as I had always done before. Back Next |