| Looking Good
I suppose anyone who plans on having SRS hopes that not only will the surgery go smoothly, they also envision the most pleasing of results. Afterall, getting rid of one eyesore and replacing it with another certainly would be distressing. I placed all of my trust in Dr. M�nard to give me something I would be able to admire once the healing was over. The level of comfort I so desired was slow in coming as everything took its sweet time in healing. I was eager to get a progress report from Dr. M�nard when he visited New Jersey a few months after my surgery. I had dozens of questions for him concerning a multitude of things. I thought I was dealing with most of the uncertainty rather gracefully. I wasn�t nearly as concerned with the labia issue that once traumatized me, and I was making gradual progress with the dilating. Even though the doubts and questions never seemed to subside, I still felt confident that my surgery was going to result in a gorgeously feminine body. I put plenty of effort into insuring that my body could get everything necessary in order to heal quickly and properly. If something was going to go wrong it wasn�t going to be because I was lazy or incompetent. I remember going through puberty was a terribly confusing time for me. I hated the fact that my coming of age sexually only complicated my innocuous desire to fulfill a part of me that enjoyed many of the feminine aspects of life. Those aspects were only known to me, albeit I never understood why I was so infatuated with things that were feminine. I was a rough and tumble little kid who enjoyed being that way, and yet I still was strangely enchanted with things that were not a part of my apparent gender. Becoming sexually virulent took away my innocence as well as my comfort with myself. I loved sports immensely, especially basketball, which I played in Jr. High School. I was a late bloomer when it came to my puberty. When it did finally arrive I was confused by how my life had changed. Entering dreaded manhood was not exactly a smooth transition for me. I became increasingly more ashamed of my body, and that kept me from pursuing many of the activities I loved. I had to give up playing sports because I simply had no confidence in my sex, and I had no desire to show my body in front of anyone, especially other boys. I was conflicted by what I felt and the body I possessed, and I had no way to deal with any of it. So I just stopped participating in sports. I often wonder what I would have done had I been born in a different sex. I guess it�s just one of the many things that I lament now that I�ve finally reached the other side. <<BACK<< >>NEXT>> |