| In the meantime I had plenty of dilating
to do. Dilating never came easy to me, but I persisted nonetheless. I didn�t waiver from the schedule. I did the four dilations per day no matter how short the time was or how tired I was. I could have opened a retail outlet for all the lubricant I had in my possession. I never cared for the K-Y Jelly brand. I much preferred the H-R Lubricant brand they gave us in Montr�al (Surgi-Lube worked well, too). I found some places on the net where I was able to buy it in case quantity on the cheap. I had no idea that I was ever going to go through so much of the stuff, even as sparingly as I used it. All told, I must have used 4 to 5 dozen tubes before the first year went by. I envied the girls who were able to dilate with little resistance from their muscles. My muscles were in no way cooperative. There were times when I simply dreaded the thought of stretching myself with the largest stent I was currently using. I doubted I would ever get to the �big mama� laying in wait. There was still one more stent left in between I needed to try. After one month the plan was to move up one size in the stent set. The closer I got to that day, the more nervous I became with the fear that it would be quite painful. After dilating I would also douche twice a day with the water/vinegar solution. I made up a gallon jug of the solution and re-used the emtpy douche bottles. That was always an adventure witnessing the sloughing of skin from inside me and the blood I would also lose. As time went on the solution became more and more clear after each douche, much to my relief. Believe me, trying to dilate 4 times a day, douche twice a day, bathe twice a day and only work 3 to 5 hours a day was indeed a handful. I couldn�t wait for the first month to go by so I could attempt doing only three dilations per day. I also remember how sensitive everything was after the surgery. I was unsure about the stories of other girls who related the nerve healing to electric shocks. That is, until it started happening to me. Sometimes it almost felt like someone was snapping me with a rubber band. Jodie and I would laugh at each other as we twitched from the little shocks. Over time these little shocks slowly dissipated. My biggest concern was how sensate my new clitoris was going to be. It seemed to be overly sensitive in the beginning. I really was in no hurry to see if I was going to be orgasmic, that is until I experienced what I was positive was some sexual release in my sleep. The only thing I had to compare it to was from my former manhood experiences. What I awoke to seemed somewhat similar, and yet wildly different at the same time. I was bewildered by the experience, because I really had no idea what to expect in having my first orgasmic experience as a woman. I got mixed answers from all the women I talked to about having sexual pleasure in their sleep. Some said yes, some said no and others simply hadn�t given it much thought. Needless to say, I was encouraged by the sensitivity and the endless possibilities that rumbled through my virgin feminine body. It would be a few months before I actually tried to have an orgasm. I was not interested in having sex with men, so exploring my own body was going to be a wonderful challenge. <<BACK<< >>NEXT>> |