| Expectations
I knew going into the surgery that my expectations were very high. I put plenty of effort into making my surgery as successful as possible. I took as active a role as I could possibly take in order to ensure that the results were pleasing to me. It�s obvious that I also had to trust in Dr. M�nard�s technique. I truly believed he was going to give me the perfect new body I so dearly desired. The expectations were so immense that I worried I would be disappointed if everything didn�t come out perfect. When the small area of tissue on my inner labia started to disintegrate I thought my worst fears were going to be realized. I was distressed to the point of tears as the tissue slowly sloughed off. Dr. M�nard had done his best to allay my worries, and the rest was up to me to just let it heal on its own. It took awhile for me to accept that this was my fate, because it seemed to be so disastrous at the time. Of course, time always has a way of healing wounds, both physical and emotional. The future would be very kind to me in that regard. As I tried to adjust to my new life and my new body, people around me grew curious about my level of satisfaction. I think they mostly wanted to know if there were any regrets on my part for taking, what seemed to them, to be a very drastic step. I remember telling some of these people that there were two things that impressed me the most about going through the surgery. The first thing I found astonishing was the fact that my expectations were greatly exceeded by the results of the surgery itself. How many times in your life does an outcome of an anticpated event actually surpass your expectations of that event? I was stunned at how the whole experience went far beyond my wildest expectations. The time I spent in Montr�al was amazing, the wonder of going through the surgery was amazing, and how I felt about my new body was the most amazing. This really blew my mind. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. There were times when I felt I had to pinch myself in order to know I wasn�t dreaming. I literally had chills in my spine when I pondered what I had gone through to get to this fantastic new point in my life. The only regret I had was that I hadn�t done it sooner. I not only didn�t miss my former manhood, I was having a hard time remembering that it was even there to begin with. This was indeed the finest choice I�d ever made in my life. I was ecstatic that all my dreams had come true in resplendent fashion. I really couldn�t have asked for more. The second thing I related to others was how startled I was by the emotional instability that beset my fledgling life. The emotional agitation that I was going through really had taken me by total surprise. I have always been a very sensitive being, even going back to my very first memories. I was not one of these aspiring transsexuals, who upon taking hormones for the first time, felt like they could finally feel emotion, especially the crying aspect. My emotions were always front and center in my life, even if they never appeared to show. I was good at concealing my feelings for the most part, but that didn�t mean there weren�t abundant times when they literally consumed me. <<BACK<< >>NEXT>> |