Jokes

Of course some jokes are outdated, resembling a certain time, place or event. Still they belong here.

Q: How do you know it's Spring? - A: The Cubs are still in first place.

Q: What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series?
A: No cubs.
 --Harry Caray joke.

Q: What did Jesus say to the Cubs last time he was on Earth?
A: "Don't do anything til I get back."

It was so foggy today that the Cubs couldn't even see who was beating them.

The other day was take your daughter to work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.

The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.

Well, at least the Cubs are trying. They installed a new pitching machine the other day. Unfortunately it beat them 4-1.

enough!

In baseball-mad Chicago, a brewery official, endeavoring to teach his wife German, asked, "Was sagst du?" She answered, "They won, 8 to 2."
 --old Bennett Cerf joke.

When Joe Pepitone first came to the Cubs, he told manager Leo Durocher he was fast enough to steal. So the first time Pepitone reached first, Durocher decided to test him. First base coach Peanuts Lowery flashed the sign to Pepitone - a wink. Pepitone didn't budge. So Lowery winked again. Still, Pepitone stood pat. Again, Lowery winked. This time, Pepitone responded. He blew Lowery a kiss.

-A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
-There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Sox fan."
-Then, asks the teacher, what are you?
-"Why I'm proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan," boasts the little girl.
-The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cubs fan.
-"Well, My Dad and Mom are Cubs fans, and I'm a Cubs fan too."
-The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
-A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Sox fan."

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