|
Reed's Armory -- A Malcolm Reed Fanfiction Archive .. |
Title: Catharsis
Author: Mareel
Author's e-mail: [email protected]
Author's Web site: http://www.geocities.com/bdebpr
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Rating: PG-13
Category: Slash
Series: Accepting/Loss
Sequel to: Duet
Summary: Reed reacts unexpectedly to an outburst by Archer.
Comments: Continuing to examine Malcolm & Jon's relationship in the aftermath of Malcolm's permanent injury, this is a follow-up to "Duet." The form here is 500 words, beginning with solo musings for each of them but ending with a 100 word duet.
Archived to Reed's Armory on 10/09/2003.
I yelled at Malcolm today. I can't believe I did that. After nearly losing him to that damned accident, you'd think I could at least control my temper and not yell at him when I get impatient.
We were getting ready for bed, and it was taking him forever. He had to wash up; he had to fold his clothes and put them away. He needed a cup of tea. He had to check his messages, make sure nothing needed his attention.
I lost it. "Damn it, Malcolm, I need your attention! I'm the captain, don't you think I'd know about it if something on this ship needed your attention!"
I knew immediately that I'd gone too far. I'd never thrown my rank at him, ever.
His reaction was swift. He turned, not in the way he once would have whirled around on me, but deliberately. His mouth was tight. I knew he was trying not to snap back at me. His eyes were dark. Here it comes. Whatever he was going to say, I deserved it.
With his control stretched to the limit, I could see the exact moment Malcolm surrendered to the response he was suppressing...
and laughed.
Jon finally lost his temper and snapped at me today. I'm frankly surprised it took him so bloody long. He's been wound so tightly, swallowing his worry, pretending everything is fine, being solicitous and so damned NICE to me. Sometimes it's been like living with a stranger, albeit one with rather intimate knowledge of my anatomy and an unfathomable fascination with my mouth.
I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary at the time, just the usual business of getting on with life. But something, or everything, pushed him over the edge and the weeks of frustration boiled over.
Being Jonathan, he immediately regretted his outburst. I could see the guilt settling over him as he wished his words back. One glance at the slump of his shoulders and the way his arms fell limp to his sides made it obvious that he thought he'd hurt me, maybe even jeopardized our relationship...and didn't know what to say next.
I tried to hide my reaction; it seemed so inappropriate. But we've always been honest with one another. I've trusted him with my life and my heart. 'Trust me now, Jon,' was my only thought as I turned to him...
laughing.
"Malcolm! I didn't expect... Hey, you're scaring me, what's so funny?"
"The two of us, love. We've been walking on bloody eggshells around each other. Think about it, Jon--before this happened to me, we had some lovely rows. It's part of us, being able to disagree and talk about it, and then move on.
I'm alive. You've proved to yourself time and again that I'm not fragile, and delicious proof it was, love. But you never relaxed completely, and I was afraid the careful politeness reflected love turned to obligation.
The laughter was relief, Jon. And it was joy."
~the end~