Adenoids
Space creatures wut be keepn' Elvis alive
All
A petroleum-based lubricant. "I sure hope my brother frum Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
Anasthesia
Rushun Princex y'all studyed in skool
Antacid
Haloosinagenic drugs used by littl' bugs
Artery
Wut the plastik Jesus on yer dashbord is
Bahs
A supervisor. "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
Bard
Past tense of "to borrow." "My brother bard my pickup truck."
Bob War
A sharp, twisted cable. "Boy, stay away frum that bob war fence."
Bowel
A alfebit letter, lyke A, E, I, O, U.
Bronchitis
Dinosore frum the plascticscent age
Carpal
The rank below sargent
Cat Scan
Lookin' fur Hookers
Cauterize
Makin' eye contact with a Hooker
D&C
Warshington - where the weerdos, purvurts and kongress peepul leeve. Also - dustin' an' cleanin.
Did
Not alive. "He's did, Jim."
Ear
A colorless, odorless gas. "He can't breathe; give 'em some ear!"
Enema
Sumon who ain't a friend
Far
Flame. "If my brother frum Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
Fester
Yer unkle's name
Farn
Not local. "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be frum some farn country."
Genital
Head of Army
G.I. Series
Gomer Pyle, USMC
Guff
A deep chasm. "Juicy the Guff of Mexico?"
Gummit
Bureaucratic institution. "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"
Haze
"Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
Heavy Dew
A request for action. "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
Hod
Not easy. "A broken hot is hod to fix."
Hot
A blood-pumping organ
Hypodermic
Big fat zoo critter
Ignert
Not smart. "Them boys sure is ignert!"
In A Wad
Upset. Tangled up or tied up as in knots. "Calm down, Bubba. Ain't no need to git yer wrangler's in a wad."
Jawjuh
A highly flammable state just north of Florida. "My brother frum Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
Ju-Here
A question. "Juhere about that fella whut chew him up and spit out sum ears?"
Juicy
A question. "Oh say kin juicy by the dawns early light."
Lot
Luminescent. "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
Lung
Oppozit of short
Markins
Citizens of the United States. "My fellow Markins."
Munts
A calendar division. "My brother frum Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd frum him in munts."
Pap Smear
When peepul sez nasti thangs about yer pappy
Paramour
An automated device for cutting grass. "What kinda deal you gonna make me on that paramour?"
Pross
The value or cost of an item. "That there prom dress sho is purty, but it ain't worth the pross."
Ranch
A tool. "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother frum Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
Rats
Entitled power or privilege. "We Southerners are willin to fight fer our rats."
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