Lessons from Children

� � 1. There is no such thing as childproofing your house.

� � 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

� � 3. A 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

� � 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.

� � 5. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20' room.

� � 6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

� � 7. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up several times before you get a hit.

� � 8. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

� � 9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long ways.

� � 10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

� � 11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it is already too late.

� � 12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke...lots of it.

� � 13. A 6 year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60-year old man says it can only be done in the movies.

� � 14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

� � 15. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak. It explodes.

� � 16. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft house almost 4 inches deep.

� � 17. Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.

� � 18. Duplos will not.

� � 19. Play-Doh and microwave ovens should never be used in the same sentence.

� � 20. Super Glue is forever.

� � 21. MacGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

� � 22. So can Tarzan.

� � 23. No matter how much Jell-O you put in the pool, you still can't walk on water.

� � 24. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

� � 25. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.

� � 26. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

� � 27. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

� � 28. You probably don't want to know what that odor is.

� � 29. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

� � 30. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

� � 31. The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5-minute response.

� � 32. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

� � 33. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

� � 34. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

� � 35. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life. � �