See how happy he is? That´s right, George! We know you for who you are! Satan e-mailed this picture to me, and boy, was I NOT surprised.
A little bit about the life of this jackass.
What did he do to earn this honor?
An interesting comparison for you.
Got a story about why you hate him?
Past jackasses.
George was born in Connecticut, the offspring of two extremely wealthy parents. Ever hear of Walker machinery? Hey! His middle name is Walker! The family moved to Tex-ASS when Curious George was a kid, hence his accent, and the reason he can pretend to be "just folks." Do not let it fool you: nepotism was able to send this pretend "down home" fellow to ANDOVER, then YALE, then HARVARD. Hmmmm. Prep schools and Ivy-league connections. We believe him????
George was a partying kind of guy! He loved drinkin´ and snortin´ that coke! He was legitimately given entrance to the Air National Guard - his father´s political connections had nothing to do with it, of course. Defending the skies of Texas from the communist hordes of North Vietnam was a little too tough for little George, so he decided to skip out and go to business school, which evidently did not teach him much about business: every company he touched turned to shit (sounds like our country, huh?).
Of course, he decided to grow up eventually, at about age forty - like you do. What better way to cover one´s past drunken assaults on people in restaurants, drunk driving, and coke use than finding JEEZUS? Of course, this was an effective act: although he could not pass a simple test on the actual Bible, he could speak the language of the Religious Right. This propelled him all the way to the top, where he currently alternates his time between his ranch in Tex-ASS and violating international law.
Return to top.
What didn´t he do? I will start with his lie about being "pro-life". As Governor of Tex-ASS, he presided over more executions than anyone else. As President, he has caused the deaths of uncounted innocent civilians in Iraq. Hundreds of thousands of caribou will lose their breeding ground because of his plan to drill in the ANWR. Head Start, school lunch, Medicaid, and Medicare have all suffered cuts under his watch. The irony of this? He loves to proclaim that he is pro life! Whose lives does he care about - other than the wealthy assholes who elected him? Human fetuses who have no conscious brain activity, and a brain-dead woman in Florida.
Why make the poor have babies they do not want? Why make these children suffer, starve, and have no medical care? Listen closely: POOR CHILDREN WHO LIVE ARE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GROW UP AND BECOME DEAD SOLDIERS! YEE Haw! Pro-life my ass. He cares only about HIS OWN right to decide who gets to live or die.
Return to top
Did you ever notice that George W. Bush
Looks an awful lot like...Alfred E. Neumann?
What, Him worry? We have the fucking MAD magazine coverboy for our president. Keep voting for morons! YEE Haw!
Return to top.
Please, contact me and tell me. I would love to add to this page, meagre as it is now. The man is truly, fully, a piece of dogshit, and deserves nothing of the praise he currently receives.
If you hate Curious George, E-mail me. If you love this asshole, Click here, or, you can also fuck yourself, and save the conservative right from doing it for you.
Return to top
Jesse "Motherfucker" Helms.
© 2005. All rights reserved.