A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: How do we know God is a man?
A: Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate
Q: Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair?
A: Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud
Q: What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q: What's the difference between a paycheque and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheque.
Q: What's the difference between a paycheque and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheque.
Q: Why is a hurricane like a women?
A: It starts with a great blow, but when it's over your house and car are gone
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 5 years your job will still suck.
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long
enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and
rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
A: Bingo.
Q: The definition of confusion is?
A Twenty Lesbians in a fish market.
