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Written some time ago...probably in 2003, right before I started school; an update is forthcoming.

To provide a home for single moms in which they can gain academic, spiritual, and business knowledge and skills necessary for being successful teachers, mothers, and breadwinners—from home. In other words, I desire to help single moms become Proverbs 31 women.

That sounds like such a simple thing because it is so easy and idealistic to say. Many people don’t understand why I find it almost overwhelming, but I would like to start sharing the thoughts that have been whirling through my mind in the years that I have been planning for this. I think that might help other people understand.

First, I will give you some history. I am a second-generation Christian. In other words, I’ve been raised in a Christian home, and willingly adopted the same views/religion as my parents. In fact, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ—He is my Savior. Early in my life, I knew that God gave Christians special callings, even more specific than the basic (though life-encompassing) ones of glorifying God and winning others for His Kingdom. As a young Christian and a young child, I thought the height of ministry was foreign missions, so I started asking God where He would send me. Looking back, I realize how presumptuous that was, but I did not discuss it with anyone, and so no saw a need to inform me otherwise. I remember lying on my bed when I was nine years old, praying for “clear leading.” Not then or at any other time has the Lord particularly burdened me for any foreign countries, though. When I was older, I finally realized that my burden for my own country was perfectly legitimate, and that my calling was here. This, however, is not to say that I will never minister in foreign countries, only that I will serve the Lord where He has put me for now, and I will trust Him to lead me elsewhere as He sees fit.

Going even further back in my childhood, I realized that my concern for unwed mothers had begun when I was about six years old, when a 14 year old neighbor girl had become pregnant. Her mother encouraged her to get an abortion, but a neighbor talked her out of it (fortunately). This situation had more of an impact on me than anyone could have realized at the time, because 1) It caused me to purpose that I would never put myself in a position in which I could become pregnant (prior to marriage) and 2) It caused me to wonder how parents could be callous enough to encourage their children to kill their own grandchildren. I saw a broken home and the need for stability in the life of a young teen girl who was looking for love. I am sure my parents and other Christians commenting on this and other similar situations had a lot to do with my reasoning.

I was about twelve years old when I finally recognized my burden for what it was—a specific calling. From that time, I have prayed for the Lord to give me wisdom in pursuing this ministry. I have also asked that He soften the hearts of young ladies who would get in this situation. Most importantly, I have prayed that He would humble me so that I would realize my dependence on His grace for my standing in the righteousness of Christ.

At the same time that I recognized this, I also came to the conclusion that I would not attend college as I had been planning since I was eight. You see, I was quite young when I decided that I wanted to be a school teacher. I was very proud of myself for having such a perfect plan! If I got married, I would be able to home school my children; if I stayed single, I would have a way to support myself. The reason I had decided not to attend college was rather vague, so I will not go into it here (I will write about it later), except to say that I spent many years struggling with doubts as to whether I had made the right choice. I assumed that there were other ways to prepare for teaching and ministry. I am not sure how I expected to earn a living, though.

Meanwhile, I had more opportunities to see the needs of unwed mothers. Since the time I first heard about that neighbor girl, I have listened carefully to more accounts of similar difficulties. I have even heard stories about daughters from very stable homes becoming pregnant. This made me wonder what the real problem was, but that is not something I can pinpoint at the moment. My best guess is that there may easily be different reasons in each case. What I do know, though, is that must be very difficult to walk in close communion with the Lord while involved in immorality. Whatever the cause, it is well within the realm of possibility (with the Lord) for a girl (and guy) to repent of such a lifestyle, and to choose to follow Christ. That is my vision for all young ladies.

I also know of situations in which wives with few, if any, job skills are abandoned by irresponsible, unloving husbands and fathers. This grieves me, and I desire to reach out to these women as well, knowing that they are as much in need as the never-married mothers. Women from broken homes, broken relationships, and broken pasts are the ones I desire to assist, as the Lord allows. I trust that the scope of such a ministry will grow in God’s time.

A recent conversation with an unwed father encouraged me, because it showed me that not all young fathers are as irresponsible as the majority of them are. I see a need for ministry to these guys, as well, but I have no idea where they would fit into the bigger picture. It seems to me that it would be ideal for them to be saved and to marry the mothers of their children, but ideals and reality don’t often seem compatible. Still, God’s grace is great, and His mercy is indeed multiplied for me as well as for others. I am looking forward to seeing His work in the lives of many people.

As I said originally, I would like to have a home environment for unwed mothers. A large house would be nice eventually, but I am sure a smaller one would suffice in the beginning. I would like enough land to cultivate vegetable and flower gardens, and I would prefer to have the area surrounded by woods, although not too closely. The more I think about what I am picturing, the more it sounds like a retirement home! All I really desire is for it to be a pleasant, home like place. Practical wisdom tells me that a small start would be best—in a little house that I hope to purchase before I am thirty.

Envisioning this kind of thing is a wonderful thing, of course, but my puzzlement has been over how to accomplish it. I might dream of a house in which much learning—spiritual as well as academic—occurs, but if I do not have the practical means to achieve it, my purposes are rather useless. It is with this in mind that I have begun the process of making decisions which will, I believe, have a profound impact on my future, and perhaps result in impacting the lives of others.

Like I said before, I struggled with the decision of whether or not to attend college. Because of several convictions I have, there are ways in which college attendance would appear to be less than ideal. For instance, I subscribe to the philosophy that there are different roles for each gender. Scripture seems to indicate a clear set of responsibilities for each spouse—the husband loving and the wife submitting; the husband working to serve the Lord, the wife working to serve her husband in order to serve the Lord. The Proverbs 31 woman achieved much in the business world, but from a home basis. Her husband, however, was known in the gate. This pattern seemed to me to indicate that working with my hands and perhaps some business skills would be the most appropriate thing to pursue. Scripture includes examples of some exceptional women, Deborah the judge being one of them. So, while there are Scriptural patterns for women, I believe that it is also possible that God would call me to an exceptional position. However, it seemed to me most likely that the Lord would have me play a less public role in whatever ministry I undertook.

Scripture also states that the older women are to teach the younger [married?] women to be keepers at home. Some people interpret this to mean that women should not be employed outside the home. They may be correct in applying it in this way, and it would be my preference to work from home if I ever marry and have children. Those possibilities, of course, are ideals that I would love to help equip unwed mothers to fulfill. It would be marvelous to have the skills necessary for running a home-based business that is profitable enough to allow an unhurried lifestyle that still allows time for ministry (not to imply that ministry cannot take place during “work”).

For preparing to teach skills necessary for being a keeper at home, home seemed the best training ground. However, I have become more and more certain that it would be wise to have a certain amount of academic preparation that would enable me to assist young ladies in fulfilling their educational and vocational dreams as they seek God’s Kingdom first. I am seeking a degree in education to obtain the skills and qualifications necessary for teaching young people. I also desire to acquaint myself well with the English language in order to communicate effectively through the written word. I hope and pray that writing will enable me to reach a large audience of people who would not know of the needs of the lost (unwed mothers, in particular) any other way.

For now, my plan is to get a degree in Middle School English, or perhaps to double major in Middle School Education and English. I have yet to discuss my plans with school advisors. Following my graduation, I hope my degree will qualify me to seek state certification so that I can work as a teacher and save money for a small house. Meanwhile, I hope to put in some volunteer work at local crisis pregnancy centers. I expect my plans to change as I know more and more of what God desires for me, but this is what I hope to do—if the Lord wills.

With a small house, I hope to minister to any single ladies God brings across my path through regular hospitality as well as, perhaps, allowing them to live with me in hopes of exhorting them in their quest of Christian maturity. I am sure that all of this will grow as I am faithful and as God sees fit. At the moment, I am far from being as mature as I hope I will be when all this begins, but I am on the path to get to the place I have mentioned, and I would appreciate any and all prayers that I would stay on track with what God desires for my life.

Two possible distractions that I fear:
Worldly philosophies and a
Wonderful man.

Some people might think I am being funny, but I am serious in saying that either of those two things have potential for distracting me from what I am pursuing. I hope and pray that I will stay faithful to the calling with which I have been called. At the same time, I hope that God will make it clear if the path I am on is not pleasing to Him. So far, everything has fallen into place quite smoothly, which seems to be confirmation that what I am seeking IS God’s will.

Anyway, this is the basic idea of what I have in mind. I am sorry for not writing it in a more logical form, but I cannot seem to clarify my own ideas these days. I like everything to be clear and concrete, so facing variables sometimes seems rather confusing. As I have written the above, I have noticed what seems to be some serious lacks in the plans I have, yet I cannot quite identify them. I DO welcome any advice you might have to offer—I won’t necessarily take it, but I do love to receive advice that helps me in my walk with the Lord. Oh, and that reminds me of my one GREATEST FEAR: that I would lose sight of God in my quest to serve Him. You know, that does happen to some people, but I want to walk closely with Him, and have my service be an out flowing of my joy in walking with Him, not an attempt to prove that I do walk with Him. I want to be REAL!!!