22 November 1996 -- 
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make
a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between 
aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us
two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?" Without
missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars
worth!" 

15 November 1996 --  PSA was following United, taxiing out for
departure. PSA called the tower and said: "Tower, this is United 586. 
We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first". 
The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance 
to object to the impersonation! 

8 November 1996 -- A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out
after landing with his Approach speed just a little too high. 
San Jose Tower: "American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end, if able. 
If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport."

11 October 1996 --  It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a
Piper Malibu was being vectored into a long line of airliners in order to
land at Kansas City. KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a
727, one o'clock and three miles."
Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." 
KC Approach:  "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o'clock 
and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" 
Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ... I've 
got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a Chevelle, though."

6 September 1994 --Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact
departure on 124.7." 
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ...
by the way, as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end
of the runway." 
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on
124.7 ...did you copy the report from Eastern?" 
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff ... and, yes, we copied 
Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."

28 June 1996 -- No, That's Not What I Said! O'Hare Approach Control:
"United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound." 
United 329: Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got that Fokker in
sight."