WISHES
A guy goes into a bar with a shoe box, sets it on the counter, and asks
for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks 'What's in the box?' The guy
says 'Well, its just something I got from a wish.' The bartender says,
'Well, lets see it.'  

The guy pulls out of the box a miniature grand piano, a tiny stool, and
a tiny little man in a tux. The guy says 'This fellow can play anything, 
just name it.'  The bartender says 'Ok, how about Mozart?' The tiny man 
just whips it right out. The bartender is mystified and asks 'Where did 
you get this?' 

Well it was a wish from a genie from a magic lamp.' The bartender says
'No way, I don't believe you.' The guy says 'Well, here's the lamp right
here,' pulling it out of his pocket. The bartender grabs it, rubs it, and 
out comes an older-looking genie, who asks 'What'll it be?'  The bartender 
blurts out 'A million bucks!'  

Just like that a million ducks are flying through his bar, knocking down
everything and shitting everywhere. The bartender screams out to the
guy 'What the hell is going on?!!' The guy calmly says 'Well, the genie is a
little hard of hearing.' The bartender asks 'Well, why the hell didn't you
tell me that?' The guy exclaims 'Well, you don't think I wished for a ten inch
pianist, do you?'