Ten Things That Piss Me Off!!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for  the time.  I
know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours?  Do I point at 
my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change 
the channel manually.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". What good is a damn cake you can't eat?  What, should I eat
someone else's cake instead?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look".  Of
course it is.  Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? 
Do people do this?  Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you  see that?" No
dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the  theatre and stare at the freaken 
ceiling up there.  What did you come here for?

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. 
Don't drink and drive.  I don't".  Well, I hope you don't drive sober 
either Mr. Healey.  You're blind for God's sake!

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"  Didn't really give me a
choice, did ya there buddy?

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it?  If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it.  If it's an improvement,
then there  must have been something before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you
were going? You should know a**hole, you  pulled me over!!!