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Greetings and hallucinations from the planet Nirob. I know that by now you have to know who I am. I've come to this crappy little hole in space planet five times already. First to turn you all insane, then to blow up your planet, then to tell you my life story, then to egg your planet, and then to tell you my plans for making a business. Unfortunately that is no longer going to happen. Bird That Is Slightly Insane is dead. I ended up eating her since the cause of her death also cooked her up very well done, and I like my meat well done. Do you want to know what happened? My bird was flying along, drunk off her egg laying butt, and she crashed into a star. Stupid bird. You'd think she'd know that stars are very hot, but apparently she didn't. Oh well, her loss. Now, do you remember what I said last time I was here? I said that I would blow up your head, but, I've already tried. There's nothing in your head to blow up. Whenever I tried to build up the pressure, air just rushed out of your ears. Did you know that if you were to shine a flashlight in your ear your eyes would sparkle? Do you want to konw why? It's becuase there's nothing in there. Just air (some of it very hot I'm sure) Zip a dee doo dah, zip a dee ay my oh my what a messed up day. Plenty of sunshine wasting away. My bluebird on my shoulder, got blown away, it's factual, everything is black and.....I forget the rest of the song. Og well. I've been thinking, you know, that I'd stay in your house tonight because my ship has monsters. Big big big monsters. Monsters with red eyes and green hair and yellow fangs and no heads. They scare me. Just between the two of us, I think they're psychotic. If you smile at them they say you're trying to kill them! THEY DO NOT!!! DO TOo! NOT! TOO! NOT TOO NOT TOO NOT TOO NOTTOONOTTOONOTTOO. GOSH DARN IT ALL TO HECK!!!!!! There I go arguing with myself again. Well, you started it! I did noT! You did to, and if you try to deny it, I'll blow your head off! Uh oh! Maybe I should get a restraining order against myself. One that doesn't allow me within 100 yards of myself. Do you think I can? HOw about if I sing you a song?
Poor Psycho bird,
will never again let fly a turd,
She went Flying,
Ended up frying,
In a star in space.
Oooooooooooooooh,
Psycho Bird,
Psycho Bird,
Poor poor poor psycho bird,
No more turds,
And why?
And why did you fry?
Up in the sky,
Where you used to fly,
There ins now only the reek
Of burnt feathers and meat.
Oh why,
Oh Why,
Couldn't you fry
A little less smellier?
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh,
Psycho Bird,
Psycho Bird,
My poor, poor, poor Psycho Bird.
What did you think? I just now made it up. It's about my poor dead Psycho Bird. Well, I really have to go now. I have a two months supply of cooked bird meat, and it's going to start smelling up my ship, and I want to eat it before the monsters get it. Do you know if monsters like fried bird? I hope not. I'm also going to see about getting that restraining order against myself.
Goodbye,
Psycho
P.S. I told the monsters they could play under your bed. They really get on my nerves. |
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