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| Getting Started. Take your time and don't push yourself. Only do as much as your are able to handle at the time. If you get overwhelmed, put this workbook away for as long as you need to. Healing is a process, and will take time. 1. Aproximate age abuse started: _________ 2. Approximate age when abuse ended: _________ (if known) Sexual abuse does not just happen to small children, it can happen even in the teen years. Sexual abuse does not have to be physical touching or penetration, it can also be from making the child look at pornography, using the child in pornography, saying sexual comments to the child, watching the child bathe and undress, etc... Next you will identify the person(s) responsible for abusing you. If he/she was a grandparent, aunt/uncle, or related in some way, write that after their name. 3. Abuser(s) _______________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ If the identy of the abuser(s) is not known yet, leave that part blank. 4. Your relationship to the abuser prior to the abuse - friendship, we were close, use to take me to the park, etc... or negative aspects if bad relationship (if known) __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ When a child is sexually abused, the child usually puts it's attention on something else, like counting ceiling tiles, or flowers on the wallpaper, etc... It is how the child has to deal with the abuse. These survival techniques are often carried into adulthood. Recognizing these protective defenses in your healing is important, so that you can develope healthier coping mechanisms while in recovery and in other areas of your life. 5. How you dealt with the abuse while it was happening: ______________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Overcoming childhood coping mechanisms take time, so try to be as patient as you can with yourself, and don't push yourself. Keep yourself self, and when it gets too much, put this away until you are ready to start again. Recovery is very painful for a while. 6. New ways in which you can deal with the abuse: ________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Flashbacks Flashbacks and age regressions are very common in the healing process. Here are some suggestions for getting yourself grounded back to the present: 1. Take deep breaths 2. Grab your favorite stuffed animal, or a pillow off the couch to hold. 3. Stand and feel the floor under your feet and start walking around. 4. Call a safe person 5. Start petting your cat/dog, etc.. 6. Turn on the radio or television 7. Keep telling yourself that that was then, this is now, if possible. Here is a site that has a very good list of grounding techniques: List the techniques you are currently using to get grounded and how effective they are for you: __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ |